To not allow ds2 the Hello Kitty wellies he wants?

(29 Posts)
lecce Sun 06-Oct-13 20:25:54

He is 4. Took him to Asda today for the sole purpose of buying wellies. Recently, he has begun running around in shops, hiding, lying on the floor and singing loudly. He was warned before we went in that if he did this, I would buy a plain pair of wellies and not let him choose.

It began well and he chose Hello Kitty wellies. As it turned out, there were no others that fitted him anyway. He loves HK. On the way to the till he bolted and I ended up having to chase him around like an idiot. I caught him, put the wellies back and walked out. He screamed for about 20 minutes then we got on with our day.

Later, we had to go to another shop to pick up a few items for tea. We discussed expectations before we went in and I told him that if he was good I would try and get him the HK wellies myself during the week. He began well but bolted while I was paying, causing me to run after him while people were waiting behind me.

Now I don't know what to do. He needs new wellies but it doesn't feel right to get him these after his behaviour. On the other hand, I like 'punishments' to be natural consequences and, though it was a natural consequence that he couldn't have the wellies today as I was too angry to stay in the shop, it doesn't follow that he can't ever have them. This behaviour is new. He has been walking since he was one, no buggy since 2.5 and never had reins, so that is why I am a bit taken aback by it and hoping it will not continue (ds1 has never done it in his life). It seems a bit mean to force him to be stuck with, in his words, 'boring wellies' if he stops the behaviour now, but I would feel a pushover walking in with them tomorrow. Rain is forecast later in the week and, tbh, I can't really justify spending £10 now and then replacing them as we are on a bit of a budget atm.

Should he get the HK wellies he so desires?

lecce Sun 06-Oct-13 21:10:14

Creature I really don't think I'll end up with a child who only does stuff for rewards as I have been very careful to avoid that kind of approach. Sometimes though, it is debatable where stating a fact ends and bribery begins. Saying something like, "Put your shoes on as quickly as you can. If we don't leave now we won't have time to stop at the park on the way to the shops," for example. Is it bribery, or just stating a fact?

I get what you mean about 'winning them back" but I really meant find something he would do anyway and then saying it's so great he can have the wellies! Something like being kind to the dog (he worships her) or reading his school book (it's a novelty still - he's always keen to do it!) I realise I didn't explain it like that though.

I would love to get the wellies on line but I don't trust the sizes. He currently has size 8 and a size 9 we tried today were smaller!

Getting worried about the diagnosis thing now, though. Is it really so unusual for 4 yr olds to be doing this? He never did it when younger...

thehorridestmumintheworld Sun 06-Oct-13 21:11:34

Running off in the supermarket is a serious danger and he needs to see you take it seriously. But I am not against using little rewards as he goes round the supermarket and lots of praise, maybe a small sticker for every aisle he stays with you and at the end maybe a favourite food or you agree to play his favourite game when you get home.

That is a fact but winning back wellies is bribery. There's a clear difference.

Donkeyok Sun 06-Oct-13 21:16:15

blush wellies

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