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To have 3 children sharing a bedroom?

(137 Posts)
fedupandexhausted Sun 06-Oct-13 18:29:10

My eldest had a friend to play on Friday and told her she felt sorry for her because she has to share with her sisters.

They do moan abit sometimes as one is tidier than the others but generally is ok. We only have one bathroom which isn't prob at the moment but may be in the future??

We could afford a larger house but have decided against due to costs and hassle.

But, this comment is niggling me.....Aibu?

StarfishTrooper Sun 06-Oct-13 19:38:32

I really don't think it's a big deal to share with siblings. Plenty of families have done it for centuries.

After all, at boarding school you share dorms with kids you either may or may not like. I shared a dorm with five other girls. It wasn't very big...

usualsuspect Sun 06-Oct-13 19:41:14

It's not that big a deal,plenty of siblings have to share a bedroom.

Not everyone is in a position to extend or move.

stooshe Sun 06-Oct-13 19:41:46

Have I missed the memo/ Children sharing bedrooms is something that is potentially wrong, now? God cry!

mizu Sun 06-Oct-13 19:43:40

My two DDs will probably never have their own bedroom. We rent and hope to buy in a year or so but doubt we will ever be able to afford to have a 3 bed house.

Luckily they are very close in age.

bigkidsdidit Sun 06-Oct-13 19:46:24

We're moving next year and hoping to get a flat with fewer bedrooms, from a big house to a smaller flat, so we can live right by the seafront with a good school and a beautiful place rather than a soulless house. So we're choosing our boys to share. I am looking forward to it, I shared with my sister and liked it, I think it's lovely for siblings to share smile

BackforGood Sun 06-Oct-13 19:48:18

Well, to be fair, If I met someone who was sharing with two siblings, I too would feel sad for them (having had to share with my 2 sisters growing up, when it was a lot more common than it is now, and not liking it at all) but needs must and all that.
If you've only got the two bedrooms, then that's all you've got - it's not like you are making them share and then got a hobby room of some sort that could be used as a bedroom, I presume ? (If you have, then I think Y*A*BU wink)

MrsDeVere Sun 06-Oct-13 19:50:37

I had three in one room for quite a while.
The two little ones shared a double and the older one had the top single bunk.

That bed was fab until DS2 wrecked it sad

There is the problem. DS2 has SNs and it became much harder as he got older and stopped sleeping.

DS1 moved out so we put him in his own room.

But the arrangement worked very well for years.

I live in an ex council house in East London. I know lots of people who grew up round here and most of them shared rooms. Families were fairly large round this way.

I also have friends who think its a form of abuse for a child not to have their own bedroom but they are usually the ones who think second hand clothes are skanky and non branded trainers are embarrassing.

Having your own bedroom is nice but it not essential.

jasminerose Sun 06-Oct-13 19:51:15

They will probably grow up and be best of friends as so close now. Dont worry.

bigTillyMint Sun 06-Oct-13 19:51:51

I don't think it's a big deal - if you haven't got the space, then needs must. I'm guessing it's a 2-bedroomed place you have?

It might become more of an issue when they are all teens.

SummerHoliDidi Sun 06-Oct-13 19:52:58

I shared with my brother and sister til I was 11 and then we converted the loft for my brother. I then carried on sharing with my sister til I left home at 18. Apart from the year I shared with grandma and brother shared with sister, that was my least favourite year.

We quite liked sharing, it was fun having someone to talk to.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 06-Oct-13 20:02:50

Y'know, I loved being an only child

Hth grin

Our three, 5yo ds, 3yo dd and 18month old ds share a bedroom (the master bedroom). It works really well!

festered Sun 06-Oct-13 20:15:15

I would say if they're happy that's the most important thing. If as she gets older, the oldest wants some space then rethink but she may never do, depends on what your children are like personally.

I think I would have hated to share a room as a child but that's an opinion of an only child!Had I been accustomed to that and had brothers/sisters I reckon I could have been quite happy, a lot of my friends always were. smile

randomAXEofkindness Sun 06-Oct-13 20:18:03

It would be embarrassing for her e.g. to have her 7 yo sister asking what her sanitary towels and tampons are for.

I suppose this would depend on the family. My 4 year old already knows what tampons and sanitary towels are because she comes into the bathroom with me. I think I'd feel like I'd gone wrong somewhere if she was embarrassed about anything like that. Same goes for getting changed - I can't imagine siblings feeling the need to hide their bodies from each other unless they'd learned to be ashamed of themselves.

I am drawn towards sharing. We're sociable animals, I can't believe we'd thrive better alone in little boxes.

Maybe her little guest said that because she has a poor relationship with her own siblings.

ringaringarosy Sun 06-Oct-13 20:21:32

why would youhave to explain what sanitary towels are to a 7 yr old?surely they would know?why make it into an embarrassing thing?my 3 yr old knows what they are for!

ringaringarosy Sun 06-Oct-13 20:22:22

oh and my 3 eldest,who are 3 4 and 5,all have seperate rooms but choose to sleep in the same one every night!

I have a friend who has 5 children in a 2 bedroom house. The baby's in the parents' room but the elder four (a girl and 3 boys) share a room. When the baby's old enough she'll go in the children's room too; they have a triple bunk and a normal set of bunk beds.

So I wouldn't worry about having 3 sharing! grin

WilsonFrickett Sun 06-Oct-13 20:23:46

YANBU at all. Why stretch yourselves financially just so DCs can have a room each? I do think, however, if there's any way of adding a bathroom to your house you should do it. I don't fancy your chances of getting three teenage girls plus two adults through one bathroom and out the door every morning without world war three on a daily basis grin

I would prioritise that over separate bedrooms tbh.

MiaowTheCat Sun 06-Oct-13 20:25:15

My two are going to have to share a room for the indefinite future. House is currently unsellable really till the market picks up here and the HS2 wrangling is sorted out... small age gap at least. Just means that downstairs is going to have to be the room most of the toy and play stuff goes on in and the bedroom is really going to have to be for sleeping which is no real hardship anyway.

If people have a problem with it - well they can pay the costs of a larger house for us or shut the hell up.

foreverondiet Sun 06-Oct-13 20:27:47

I think fine for the girls to share - esp as quite close in age. Don't agree necessarily need privacy at puberty - thats what bathroom is for, and anyway, only 3 years between oldest and youngest, might be different say 3 girls aged 10,5 and 1.

However, I would guess that all three of them would prefer, all things being equal, their own rooms. My DD has her own room (she has two little brother) and she would easily say either of:

a) I feel sorry for you as you have to share with your little sisters
b) I am very jealous of you as I only have 2 little (annoying) brothers

Don't read into the comment.

My two share (ds and dd) - they could have separate bedrooms - I like them sharing and they like sharing. When they get older, we will revisit the arrangements but ok for now.

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Sun 06-Oct-13 20:43:47

Of course yanbu! Nothing wrong with siblings sharing a room at all. I never had my own room, I shared with each of my siblings at some point but from age 6 or so mostly just shared with my younger sister, she's two years younger so I hit puberty before her, wasn't an issue at all. She already knew about puberty anyway. We shared until I left home at 19. I love her to bits, she's my best friend. We had the option of having separate rooms in our teens after older siblings moved out but we chose to share.

LoveWine Sun 06-Oct-13 20:51:29

It would be embarrassing for her e.g. to have her 7 yo sister asking what her sanitary towels and tampons are for.

Isn't the bathroom whee you keep sanitary towels and tampons? Surely, that's where you change them as well. Is that's the case why does it make a difference if two girls share a room? I shared a room with my brother until I left for university! never had a problem or felt the need to be embarrassed.

Jan49 Sun 06-Oct-13 21:19:46

I'd be interested to know why you had 3 dc when you only have one bedroom for them, or did you circumstances change? You say you've decided against a larger house due to cost, but did you consider the practicalities and costs when you chose to have 3 dc?

I grew up as one of 3 dc sharing a room with my elder sister and I hated it. I wondered why my parents had 3 of us when IMO they didn't have enough space. It caused particular problems when I reached my teens and it became clear that I could no longer fit a junior single bed but the room could barely fit 2 singles. My parents ended up switching bedrooms with me and my sister as the alternative was for my sister and me to have the beds in the room with the door jammed permanently open - no space to close it - or the beds so close together that to walk across the room you had to climb over beds. (I'm not sure if bunk beds existed then). I remember my mum being quite unhappy about the situation.

I shared til I went to uni and vowed I'd never have a child I didn't have a bedroom for. In fact I only had one child. But of course, if it works for your dc, then that's fine.smile

frogspoon Sun 06-Oct-13 21:25:12

Isn't the bathroom whee you keep sanitary towels and tampons? Surely, that's where you change them as well. Is that's the case why does it make a difference if two girls share a room? I shared a room with my brother until I left for university! never had a problem or felt the need to be embarrassed.

Depends on your home. We always had a small bathroom with not enough cupboard space for sanitary protection, so it was always kept in our own bedrooms (this also avoided the issue of who stole the last sanitary towel!)

I can see how if these were kept in the bathroom this would not be an issue at all, but if they are kept in the bedroom, an insecure pre-teen may be a little sensitive about it.

Do your currently have a quiet space to do homework that is separate from play area? When oldest DD goes into secondary school, she will likely be spending an hour or two on homework and will need a quiet place where she is not disturbed by happily playing younger DDs who have finished their shorter amount of work.

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