AIBU to push my mum to do a 'clear out' and stop her hoarding?

(80 Posts)
williaminajetfighter Sat 05-Oct-13 22:56:24

My 72 year old mum lives alone in a large house filled with 'stuff'. She is not like those people on the Hoarders TV show but she is fairly bad at holding onto everything she's ever owned, every magazine, every card she's received. I think at the heart of it she's just incredibly sentimental.

Visiting her drives me loopy with the piles of paper,knick knacks etc. she spends a lot of time 'moving stuff around' and dealing with filing and sorting her mounds of paper like some mad archivist. I think her life would be a lot easier if it was clutter free.

I have at times encouraged her to do a clear out, have a yard sale, get rid of unwanted things, put stuff on eBay and it always ends in tears.

Part of me is also conscious that if not done now her kids will have a lot to go through after her death, although this obviously isn't my main motivation.

I fear I may just be imposing my minimalist way of living onto her but I can't help thinking a clear out would be good for her.

So should I press get on this one or just let it go?? Just would like to get others opinions especially those who have faced similar situations.

shewhowines Tue 08-Oct-13 10:18:34

ancient I read a while ago, that there is also a lawn mower museum somewhere too.

ReallyTired Tue 08-Oct-13 10:23:05

"She then had another fire, this time at night. Luckily the tv exploding woke her up & she escaped again.

Does she really have the right to live how she wants? She does not have dementia."

Provided she is in a freehold property she can do as she pleases. She really does have the right to live as she wants. As I said earlier the bar as which you can enact ensuring power of attoney/ court of protection is incredibly high.

Ultimately its her life and you can not live her life for her.

sarahtigh Tue 08-Oct-13 17:09:45

obviously UK rules on power of attorney do not apply in USa/Canada or where ever, however in UK there is a difference between financial and welfare powers of attorney

it is best if signed when person is mentally capable of signing financial / welfare POA . Financial powers can be enacted at any time however welfare powers a can be signed in advance but will not be acted upon until a doctor etc decides the person no longer has capacity to make their own decisions ie their mental state is such that they are incapable of giving consent this is a very high bar much higher than the finance one

the OP's mother is obviously not incapable of deciding welfare issues so there is no way if she was in UK that OP would have POA in regard to welfare / hoarding etc

if a person will not sign POA or does not want to; when deemed applicable it can be applied for via courts of protection who will decide a.) if POA is needed and b.) who should be appointed

No advice but watching with interest as your post sounds very much like my mum, although she is a bit younger!

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Tue 08-Oct-13 17:39:21

unless its a serious health or fire risk just leave her be, its not really affecting anyone is it? its her life and its making her unhappy to be told its got to go. My Mum is 85 and I would hate to upset her by suggesting anything in her home should not be there as I would be hurt if someone suggested it to me. I know I will have to deal with it when shes no longer here but hey so what, its her life and long may it last.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now