to really hate this couple?

(188 Posts)
Reality Sat 05-Oct-13 09:54:55

This is just a rant, really. They were in my dream last night so I've been stewing on it this morning.

I thought they were friends of ours, his wife was (I thought) my best friend but with hindsight they were just users, they used to come here for dinner and drinks almost every weekend and leave their DD here, for example, the favour was never returned.

When we were planning our wedding, they asked me if their DD could be a bridesmaid and if he could be our photographer (he isn't a professional, just a hobbyist), a few months down the line they said, oh as payment for being your photographer you can pay for our room at the hotel. I have no idea why I went along with this but I think I genuinely thought they had our best interests at heart and were doing us a favour. The room was about £250 I think, a family room for them and their DD. We also invited her parents (and paid for a meal etc) as they asked us to.

So, the wedding photos were predictably awful, we had a list of family shots we wanted and none of them happened, I have no photos of my sisters at my wedding, for example, and loads of photos of his wife and DD.

He spent a good ten minutes staging a shot that made it look like DH was snogging my mother (with the camera angle), and fucking PHOTOSHOPPED one of DH and my mum dancing to move DH's hand onto my mum's arse. These were the shots he was most proud of and plastered them all over Facebook.

We had to wait about six months for any copies of our photos, and he charged us a fortune for some framed shots, it's only now I work for a print company that I realise how much he ripped us off on those. We asked him literally every weekend for a good six months about the photos before he eventually gave us a disc with them on, and arranged the framed prints at the same time. He charged us £100 for each print, they were framed in plastic frames from Wilkos.

So as not to dripfeed, this is the man who broke into my house and assaulted me while I slept, a couple of years after the wedding. We obviously dont' see him any more and he was arrested for it although not charged. She hasn't spoken to me since and 'can't forgive me' for calling the police. She blanks me at school and Scouts although still has a cheery hello for DH.

So obviously I have that context to it. But I am fixating on the wedding stuff this morning. I am really fucking angry about it and need to have a big old AIBU rant.

They are cunts, aren't they? Or is it me?

kotinka Sat 05-Oct-13 10:20:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MammaTJ Sat 05-Oct-13 10:22:23

Reality, I had some people I thought were close friends too, she was the birht of my DD, knew everything about me.

He did not sexually assault me like this man did you but they systematically tried to ruin my life, all while pretending to be my friends. They told my teen DD that me getting her to help, not an unreasonable ammount around the house was me treating her like a slave, while telling me and DP that we should get her to do more to earn all the things we bought her and the clubs that we took her to.

They reported me to SS and to the RSPCA, although I didn't realsie it was them at the time. She came over and sat in my living room when the SW visited. The SW kept telling me to be careful who I trusted, but I didn't realise she was warning me about my 'friend'.

It was only when we had a big show down, when DD, who had been grounded by her Dad, and I was sticking to the punishment he had set, had been allowed to walk her dog for half an hour, came back after an hour, I told her to just go to her room and she was over me shouting, then ran over the these 'friends' house. She made out I was threatening to her, they let her in and shut me out! Got her taken to her dads.

I then started being told just how two faced these people had been. Why oh why did people not tell me earlier?

I still, four years later, obsess on occasion and dream about a scenario where the woman at least apologises to me. I wake up upset. To me, her betrayal was worse than when my husband of 10 years cheated on me and left me. I will hate them till the day I die. They tried to ruin my relationship with DD1 and get my other children removed from me. If they had genuine concerns, they should have raised them, helped me, but they were just malicious. Sorry for the vent on your thread, I thought it might help for you to know I truly do understand and why.

What this couple have done to you is unforgivable too.

How does your DH react to her cheery hello?

Inthechelseahotel Sat 05-Oct-13 10:22:25

I remember your thread! You rant away! Nasty people.

StickEmUp Sat 05-Oct-13 10:24:34

Bloody hell. YANBU rant away.

Reality Sat 05-Oct-13 10:28:24

DH blanks her. She is dead to us. <mafia stylee>

We've seen him (from a distance) at Scouts stuff and managed to just blank him, I dread to think what would happen if DH bumps into him with no kids around, my very mild mannered DH can be a rottweiler when it comes to me and the DC.

Thank you MammaTJ, it does help, although I am so sorry you have been through that. That's what I dreamed about, that she apologised to me. Mad, isn't it?

FancyPuffin Sat 05-Oct-13 10:30:39

Cunts of the very highest order angry

I remember your thread about MrCunt and think its very telling that he doctored pictures to put your do in a bad light and potentially cause rows.

Freaky bastard.

yegodsandlittlefishes Sat 05-Oct-13 10:32:22

Reality that's terrible. So in a way, as well aasinterfering with your wedding photos and memories of your wedding, he has done this rerrible thing and managed to lie to everyone about it so that you don't have closure.

What about planning a great anniversary getaway and inviting all your true friends (including new ones since the wedding) and key, dear relatives and booking a proper photographer? You might not be able to afford it until your 20th anniversary, but it would be a cracking party.

Counselling? Hypnotherapy?

I wish I could think of a good (legal) way for you to have them eat humble pie and own up to what they've done.

kotinka Sat 05-Oct-13 10:33:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameFanny Sat 05-Oct-13 10:33:27

Totally cunty people. Almost makes you wish religion was true so you could picture them revolving on a spit in hell.

elcranko Sat 05-Oct-13 10:34:29

What horrible people. So glad that they're out of your life now OP.

pantsonbackwards Sat 05-Oct-13 10:34:40

I had a friend who badmouthed me and told lies about me to everyone we met for 8 years until i found out. I thought we would be friends for life but she was a cunt. A very believable cunt it would seem and it lost me my entire social circle.

She even took credit for work with did together affecting my college course and the opinion the tutors had of me.

Im sure she still tells lies about me. She is a very bad person.

Its hard to move on. Its been many years since i found out but i remain so bitter about it.

Lizzylou Sat 05-Oct-13 10:35:40

God, yanbu.
What total evil wankers.

ScarerAndFuck Sat 05-Oct-13 10:38:40

Reality I remember that thread about him letting himself in and assaulting you. It's as appalling to read now as it was then.

The pair of them deserve each other. Have you had any counselling?

Reality Sat 05-Oct-13 10:40:18

No. It's something I'm thinking of, actually, I seem to be on a bit of a spiral lately when it all shoudl be going really well (new job, life is great etc, I'm just a bit of a mess).

I think my subconscious wants me to deal with it all, hence the freaky dreams.

Scrounger Sat 05-Oct-13 10:40:23

Take up kickboxing / boxing - vent on the pads it is a great way to get it all out. Go for a walk or a run.

In these type of situations it feels as though they 'got away' with it and never had to face the consequences of what they did or even acknowledge that they were wrong. That is the bit that drives me mad, I am starting to let go of it but every so often it sneaks back in.

Scrounger Sat 05-Oct-13 10:40:45

Oh, yes they are complete cunts, but sooner or later it will rebound on them.

pigletmania Sat 05-Oct-13 10:41:45

Oh my goodness the fuckwits from hell, your well shot of them I say. Rant away my dear smile

Charlottehere Sat 05-Oct-13 10:41:48

Had some friends like this. Note had.

Reality Sat 05-Oct-13 10:50:18

Thank you all for letting me vent. I am sitting here crying (god I hate it when people say that, sorry) but it is good to have a purge about it.

LilRedWG Sat 05-Oct-13 10:50:22

Rant away and consider discussing PTSD with your GP. Asreholes! sad for you.

LilRedWG Sat 05-Oct-13 10:51:03

BoF and her DH made me smile though.

kotinka Sat 05-Oct-13 10:51:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetestcup Sat 05-Oct-13 10:52:21

All joking aside talking through these issues in counselling is no bad thing, thats the thing about the subconscious - we dont always realise whats stewing in there until its too late. I to remember your thread, although I didnt remember it was you...are you a childminder who minds for your sister or am I getting you mixed up with someone else?

Sparklysilversequins Sat 05-Oct-13 10:53:43

You thought you were over this?

I would never get over this. It's hugely, horrendously awful. I would despise them forever. I hope your DH just quietly says "fuck off" whenever he sees her. I would.

So glad you ended up with some lovely memories of your wedding thanks to BoF and DP.

ElleBelly Sat 05-Oct-13 10:55:10

Enormous,raging cunts.

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