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AIBU?

to think that Hamzah Kahn's father should be sent down alongside his mother?

219 replies

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 22:17

Hamzah's father, after his ex was found guilty of starving their 4 year old to death, said that he would "have to live with that for the rest of my life".

Live with what? With the fact that he did fuck all? His son lay dead for 2 years and his father had no clue, yet makes out he is a loving dad. If he was so loving he would have seen his child, seen the state of the house and the state the (his? sorry, I dont know if they were all his) other children were in. But he didnt. The 2 years between little Hamzah's death and his discovery should not have gone unchecked by any good dad, but in this case it did. At the very least, he would have gone to court to gain access, involved CAFCASS, social services, etc. But he did nothing.

Amanda Suttons stepfather says that she wasnt helped by the social services, which clearly she wasnt, but he puts the blame firmly at their feet. What was he doing? Was he offering to help look after the kids? Clean the house? Did he report her for help? No. He did nothing.

Seems to me that a lot of people who this little boy and his siblings should have been able to rely on preferred to look away.

AIBU to think that his father is just as culpable in his death as his mother?

OP posts:

Report

thenightsky · 04/10/2013 22:18

2 years is a hell of a time to not see his son. So I'd agree OP.

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 04/10/2013 22:20

I agree. It seems there's always an absent dad crawling out the woodwork proclaiming how devastated after the event.

CoffeeTea103 · 04/10/2013 22:22

Did you not read the full story properly. He was convicted and served time for domestic abuse and had an order to stay away from her. He repeatedly pleaded with the police to do something about the state of the children and this is on record. As he was the convicted one and she put up a great show of the victim, they didn't really take him that serious.

numbum · 04/10/2013 22:22

Yabu

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 22:22

Following Hutton's sentencing, Hamzah's father, Aftab Khan, said his son's death could have been prevented if police and social services had heeded his warnings.

His death could have been prevented if he had taken an active part in his sons upbringing. She was an alcoholic who couldnt cope, I do not believe that she would have prevented him from taking them for the weekend.

He also claims that he contacted social services but was ignored. I would bet a years mortgage money that he only proclaimed this after she was arrested.

OP posts:

thenightsky · 04/10/2013 22:23

thanks coffee in light of that I change me view.

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 22:23

Coffee he had to stay away from her,, not them.

OP posts:

wheretoyougonow · 04/10/2013 22:23

I thought it was very strange that he is in the press blaming everyone. I feel he can't pass comment if he didn't notice he son was starving or was dead for two years.
We have lots of interventions in this country but unfortunately we will not be able to protect every child that needs it. Families need to take some responsibility.

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 22:25

There is no reason why he could not have had access to his children, and the fact that he was convicted of domestic abuse and then makes out that he did all he could makes it worse imo. He could have done a lot more.

Supervised access would have been allowed if he had fought for it but he didnt. If she had consistently refused to take the children for the access then the case would be reviewed. He didnt fight because he didnt want to.

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 22:26

Or putting it even more simply, if he abused the mother to the point where she was left with no support (where was the mother and stepfather? but anyway....) and did not fight to ensure he saw that his children were safe, he is still as culpable for Hamzah's death as his mother.

OP posts:

Greydog · 04/10/2013 22:27

I noticed that a "Friend who supported her" was interviewed & said that Hutton couldn't cope and needed help. the question is then - why didn't you do something? Everybody now seems to have "known" there was something wrong, and no -one did anything.

AnandaTimeIn · 04/10/2013 22:27

Yes. If he really cared about his son, he would have screamed outside the door of the house till the police were called and went in.

notnowbernard · 04/10/2013 22:30

V difficult to get in denial alcoholic to 'do' anything

What were the schools doing though? (Of other kids)

People must have known... Where was she buying her alcohol? All the dv incidents... Surely kids were there when police turned up?

Neighbours reported stuff... Who did/didn't follow this up ?

Dreadful case

BillyBanter · 04/10/2013 22:31

You don't know there was no reason. You've tried and convicted him on no evidence. You do not have access to the full facts, just whatever you've read in the papers and what you've made up in your own head.

Smartiepants79 · 04/10/2013 22:31

I don't know much about the specifics of the case but I did wonder why the father was not being held culpable for this atrocity in any way.

OctoberNights · 04/10/2013 22:31

woah

So he's the bad one here?

The mother who was obviously struggling with Mental Health isues or her ex partner who beat he up

CoffeeTea103 · 04/10/2013 22:32

It's totally mind blowing how she got her five other kids as well as her 24 year old adult son to go along with her lies. She is one evil woman to have had that much power and fear put into the other kids. Surely the other kids were all showing signs of what horror was going on in that house. How did it pass through so many people. Same as Daniel pelka. These children were screaming for help in the most obvious way yet nobody heard them. hamzah's picture in the papers, that expression on his little face tells so much.

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 22:32

Another point. His eldest child is 24 so presumably that is where he heard that the children were being neglected. Why, after being told by his adult son, that his other children were being starved and neglected did he not call the police? Or kick up a fuss?

Because he didnt care. He didnt care about her and didnt care about his other kids enough to kick up a fuss. Probably told his eldest that his mother is a bitch and to ignore her. He. didnt. care.

OP posts:

moondog · 04/10/2013 22:32

What about the other kids? How old are they? Did they not realise they were sharing the house with a corpse? And that older brother? What did he know? It is all so bizarre. I can't get my head around it.

Bogeyface · 04/10/2013 22:33

I am not saying that he is the bad one. I am saying that he bears responsibilty for this as well as as her.

She should rot in hell for what she did, but equally, so should he imo.

OP posts:

Zoe567 · 04/10/2013 22:35

I only just heard about this. Very sad. I agree bogeyface. Just saw him on the tv. He did nothing to help.

meditrina · 04/10/2013 22:36

It's not clear if all reporting restrictions have been lifted.

But from what has been reported, he was accusing her of abusing the children to the police (agreed by police and on record) at around the time the police visited and assessed the children as OK. So he was written off as ranting ex, continuing to try to abuse and control. I doubt he could ever escape that categorisation.

Generally, the removal of violent, abusive men from a household is held to be a good thing.

AmberLeaf · 04/10/2013 22:36

Lots of assumptions in your last post OP.

As coffeetea said he did bring his concerns to the attention of the police.

OctoberNights · 04/10/2013 22:37

perhaps if the authorities said this was a case of battered women syndrome coupled with pnd they would realise that it was not done out of malice

Th whole blame the mum thing does not sit asy with me , as if you look at the photo's of her house providinded by th media , there was a someone troubled

AmberLeaf · 04/10/2013 22:37

Post before last.

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