to be offended by this nurse

(22 Posts)

This is my second AIBU about health care professionals and self harm which in itself is a bit crappy.

I have significant MH issues and have recently started self harming again. I had a cut stitched up in minor injuries last week and today I went to the nurse at my doctors to have them removed. The cut hasn't healed well and so the nurse got the Dr who has prescribed anti-biotics. They wanted me to go to the plastics department at the hospital to have the wound checked but I refused. IME plastics rarely do anything for self harm and I felt it would be a waste of time.

I explained this and then the nurse started to say that maybe the plastics department are unhelpful because most people who go there are really poorly and not their because of their own fault. I told her that it was not my fault that I have MH issues and she tried to back track saying that plastics prefer to help people who couldn't help being there. She then told me that I should be getting better and that my MH team are not helping me enough (I have lots of support and explained this). It just all felt very accusatory about why I was self harming and using up their precious time.

It is hard enough to see people about my self harm.

It would seem that she is in the wrong profession. I'm sorry you are upset, she was tactless and ignorant too.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 03-Oct-13 17:15:20

YANBU. Sorry she made things worse for you.

Psychobubble1 Thu 03-Oct-13 18:31:07

She was being completely unprofessional. Please don't let this women put you off seeking the help you need when you need it.

Euphemia Thu 03-Oct-13 18:33:18

She just stopped short of saying "Pull yourself together," didn't she? hmm

Complain!

YANBU.

OnaPromise Thu 03-Oct-13 18:35:08

She needs some training.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 03-Oct-13 18:39:32

Outrageous behaviour showing a complete lack of understanding and empathy. I'd be reporting her.

RevoltingPeasant Thu 03-Oct-13 18:40:27

Wow.......

Maybe the GUM clinic should also not treat STIs, as you can easily avoid those by never, ever having sex.

Maybe midwives should leave women to battle through birth, as it's their choice to get pregnant.

.....And obviously since MH issues aren't even a choice in any respect, what you experienced is worse than my two examples.

fuzzpig Thu 03-Oct-13 18:41:49

Well put, RP

Doyouthinktheysaurus Thu 03-Oct-13 18:44:07

She's ignorant.

Sadly, as I'm sure you've experienced it's not uncommonsad

I am an RMN and some of our patients have awful tales to tell of their treatment or lack of it in A&E, it's very sad and extremely unhelpful.

Im sure there are very empathic A&E staff out there but it's the negative attitudes that tend to stay with you sometimes!

Branleuse Thu 03-Oct-13 18:44:19

not an uncommon attitude amongst nurses that dont specialise in mental health

phantomnamechanger Thu 03-Oct-13 18:46:12

I think you ought to complain so that she can improve her bedside manner

(hugs)

pantsonbackwards Thu 03-Oct-13 18:46:54

Im sure i saw a thread almost identical to this many months ago.

I would complain. You don't need someone in that job being so ignorant.

MrsWolowitz Thu 03-Oct-13 18:48:47

She was ignorant and very rude.

MurderOfBanshees Thu 03-Oct-13 18:48:58

I'd complain, that's awful

Tiredemma Thu 03-Oct-13 18:49:58

I'm a mental health nurse and confronted an A & E nurse on her attitude towards one of our service users who had attended hospital with self harm injuries.

Her comments were completly inappropriate and not what anyone should expect from someone who should treat all with empathy and be non judgemental.

MammaTJ Thu 03-Oct-13 18:53:11

YANBU!! This is why I opted for Adult nursing, rather than mental health. I have worked in a psychiatric hospital and more recently with the elderly with mental health problems.

People with mental health problems do need medical treatment sometimes. I feel I will be better placed to provide that than some nurses, specifically those who just want to treat the physical ailment.

pantsonbackwards I posted something similar about 18 months ago, when a Dr in A&E refused to give me additional local anaesthetic and told me I shouldn't be stressed because my job was just playing with children.

The nurse wasn't trying to be unkind, she just did not have clue about what was appropriate to say. I think she just felt sad that so far the MH support I have has not stopped me from doing what I do. But there are better ways of saying things.

picklechops Thu 03-Oct-13 20:19:36

Why did the doctor refuse to give you more anesthetic? That's terrible

Tavv Thu 03-Oct-13 20:31:43

YANBU. MH problems are not the sufferer's "own fault"! Definitely complain.

neunundneunzigluftballons Thu 03-Oct-13 20:34:51

Tell her you will get over self harming but in all likelihood she will continue being an ignorant twat or at the very least think it really hard in her presence and hope that telepathy gets it the rest of the way. I hope you start feeling better soon, might she be right about the MH team is there more that can be done?

bigbrick Thu 03-Oct-13 20:35:30

How awful for you to have this said to you. This nurse either needs to have training in her job or leave and do something else. You have the right to proper treatment and care.

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