I don't think I am but my dh and ds do so give me a reality check

(110 Posts)
Stoppicking Thu 03-Oct-13 07:43:01

My dh says that I am pushing our year 4 son by making him work too hard. My ds says that noone has to work as hard as he does (probably due to listening to his father's moans).

5 nights a week (I'm not fussed which 5 nights but ds has chosen Sun-Thurs) he has to do:

10 minutes of reading (school state between 15-30 minutes so already under on that in my book)
Run through that week's spelling tests
Complete a set piece of homework once a week (I've tried explaining to both dh and ds that he could do a bit of it a night but he chooses to do it all in one sitting)
30 minutes of music practice

That's it. So am I really being unreasonable?

GampyWabbit Fri 04-Oct-13 12:20:21

I also can't understand how people think 15 mins music practice is enough for a 9yr old! My dcs started music lessons at 4yrs old and they did 15 mins practice a day then. Dd is 9yrs old now and grade 6+ and can easily fill 30mins + on one instrument. Ds is 6 and does around 15/20 mins. It isn't all boring and is in fact very beneficial. They enjoy playing games, reviewing pieces, and learning new ones, as well as doing scales and other important things like that!

I'm sure the op also said her ds enjoys the music practice and the problem is more about school work.

whatever5 Fri 04-Oct-13 12:59:08

GampyWabbit- I think that 30 mins is normal at grade 6 but I don't think that most children would be at that level at age 9 even if they practiced for 30 minutes a day. Your children are obviously very musical.

For the averagely musical child who is doing grade 1 or 2 at age 9, I think that 15 minutes a day is enough. I think that more than that is counterproductive unless they want to do more.

MmmmWhiteWine Fri 04-Oct-13 13:13:22

I'm confused. Who is setting the homework? You or the school? If it's the school then surely the amount is outwith your control? If your son's happier doing it all in one go and getting it out of the way then let him get on with it. Sounds like a good strategy to me. If you are setting your own homework than I thnk that's unreasonable.

hermioneweasley Fri 04-Oct-13 13:16:47

Sounds fine to me.

Get your DS to read "battle hymn of the Tiger Mother" and he'll be eternally grateful for you!

3rdnparty Fri 04-Oct-13 13:31:33

Could you split it up? we do some of ds practice or writing in the morning ...makes it feel less of a long stretch..but overall doesnt sound too much - although ds only practices instruments 2x a week but we are upping to 3 as its not enough

he likes going to the library to get next asterix/tintin - re books have had some success with
the how to train your dragons-loved these
glory gardens - cricket series(v dull but he liked them)
harry the poisonous centipede/indian in the cupboard- lynne read banks
sam silver pirate- set on book people at the moment
jack stalwart-like a v v young james bond

also trying the phoenix comic as have special offer on its quite a different style from beano etc ...hth
www.thephoenixcomic.co.uk/

shoofly Fri 04-Oct-13 13:46:27

Ds is in year 4 (Northern Ireland) kids in his class are 7/8. He is given a reading book, 20 spellings, number bonds/ mental maths and a piece of research/ written work on their "topic" every Monday. The research has to be handed in wed/ thurs. He also gets a literacy homework on Tuesday and Numeracy on Wednesday. School ask for a run through of spellings and mental maths every night. (Mon-Thurs) and ask for 15-20 minutes of reading every night to be filled in on reading journal. (Once reading book is read, then anything else is suitable - comic/ newspaper/ beast quest)

As I read the op you are asking him to run through his spellings every night and read for 10 minutes and complete one homework. Surely this is what school requires? So I can't see any argument here and I think your husband is being a dick

The music practice is a separate issue and if he's playing 2 instruments, then 30 minutes is entirely reasonable.

charitygirl Fri 04-Oct-13 13:48:03

Music fine, homework almost certainly pointless.

moldingsunbeams Fri 04-Oct-13 14:37:42

My dds school says 10 mins reading
10 mins spelling
10 minutes mental maths

per night

plus maths homework twice a week, literacy homework once a week which generally takes her half an hour to do.

15 minutes every other night music practice.

lljkk Fri 04-Oct-13 15:00:22

I know OP gave up reading ages ago...

I would say 40-60 minutes practice per week per instrument. But instruments the easy part, I gather.
I would only run thru the spelling words once or twice a week, not 5 nights.
Boy is entitled to moan as much as he likes, up to OP how much moaning she can withstand.

steeking Fri 04-Oct-13 15:11:36

Ds1 wasn't keen to read at that age. He much preferred nonfiction so we found a magazine subscription was better for him than books. Let him choose though. Even if it's just a comic. Better to be reading something than nothing.

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