To think I'm too bloody old to still be blushing???

(75 Posts)
FaresPlease Wed 02-Oct-13 21:02:37

Just that really. Happens when i speak to pretty much anyone i'm not completely comfortable with, which is basically everyone except immediate family. Even on the phone!! It restricts my life and causes me so much distress and embarrassment and has done ALL my bloody life and I'm sooooo sick of it. Am I unreasonable to expect that in my mid 30's I should have a little more self confidence and composure? I actually have pretty good self esteem, am reasonably intelligent, have managed to get married and have a family, but I must come across as some sort of nervous shy bright red weirdo to most people.

Aggadoo Wed 02-Oct-13 21:54:45

What medication did you have BetteDavis? I told my doctor and nothing came of it, she asked if I stopped work because of it (no, but it's directed my choices), I think she felt it wasn't extreme enough. I felt too embarrassed about it to bring it up again.

Cantsleep Wed 02-Oct-13 21:57:35

I blush terribly. I hate it. I actively avoid situations that I know will trigger it and its a bit of a joke amongst my family now that I can't order food/drink, pay in shops, answer the phone in front of people or have a conversation or attend social events.

It is a nightmare and if somebody points it out I go redder and redder until I feel like I'm going to explode. I have always had this problem from when I was very young and it has just got worse with age, I console myself that everybody who matters to me knows about it and just accepts it as part of who I am.

I still hate it though and it makes me feel like a twat

tobytoes Wed 02-Oct-13 22:00:15

Oh my god. I blush all the time. When I talk to people,anyone,even family,for no reason ill just go bright red. At work if something is missing I go red and look guilty as sin,when theres doubt about anything I always feel that people think its me because I go so red
If anyone talks about sex,oh my god!!!!!!

abigboydidit Wed 02-Oct-13 22:00:20

I had this except the blushing would start at odd moments. A key trigger was if I saw someone I knew when I didn't expect to (eg in a supermarket) & I would go bright red and sweat and look really shifty. I could do presentations in front of hundreds and not blush at all, then be chairing a small meeting and go purple. Friends told me to ignore it and I tried doing CBT on myself (am trained in CBT) but it was starting to really stress me out.

Spent £60 on a session of hypnotherapy. Wish I had done it years before. I still blush appropriately, if someone is having a joke and making fun of me but it isn't the disproportionate response I used to have. I would highly recommend it.

Cantsleep Wed 02-Oct-13 22:01:14

Not sure if its connected at all but I cannot drink at all, even ONE sip of wine makes my face suddenly go bright red, hot and then has huge red blotches on for hours after and I have to take portion and drink loads of water, probably nothing to do with it but it annoys me I can't even have a drink to relax me to then enable me to go out socially !

Cantsleep Wed 02-Oct-13 22:02:41

Piriton not portion ! !

Sparklyboots Wed 02-Oct-13 22:03:45

I think everyone reaching the age of thirty should be blushing when they split infinitives. Otherwise, sorry OP and everyone, blushing can be totally embarrassing and you have my sympathy

abigboydidit Wed 02-Oct-13 22:04:56

Honestly cantsleep, try hypnotherapy.

Aggadoo Wed 02-Oct-13 22:05:49

Very annoying how a type of social anxiety becomes a joke to others isn't it? They have no idea how much it steers your life. I choose seats in cafés facing away from as much daylight as possible, choose low light areas, avoid meetings (not working but PTA type ones for me now!) where I might have to speak up in front of people. I used to stay in jobs for long times as I cannot bear interviews - go so red in all of them. Wear excessive make up at times when I know blushing will be inevitable to try to hide it. Cough when about to blush so it looks like its from the cough. Pathetic really. I am 40 too!

Sparklingbrook Wed 02-Oct-13 22:06:37

We should all go out on the town together. Would be great. smile

I domt have social anxiety or anything though. It doesn't stop me doing things. Its just the embarrassment of blushing when I'm not even embarrassed and I blush then someone goes "why are you red, why are you blushing"

Then I feel my face burning

Aggadoo Wed 02-Oct-13 22:09:47

Yeah we could BE the lights on Oxford ST!

Sparklingbrook Wed 02-Oct-13 22:11:29

Or the Blackpool Illuminations Aggadoo.

What is the blushing for anyway? Does it serve a purpose from when we were cavewomen or something?

Aggadoo Wed 02-Oct-13 22:11:57

No I don't have social anxiety either but over the years I figure it has to be a form of - as it doesn't bother me if I blush alone. I would say I am quite social, just the blushing embarrasses me when others see it IYSWIM

StinkerBoo Wed 02-Oct-13 22:18:12

Second vote for hypnotherapy, never normally go for that sort of thing but one session sorted me out completely.

bohoec Wed 02-Oct-13 22:18:16

Reassuring that so many of us suffer from blushing!

I have two tactics:
1/ tell myself that most people will feel for me and will not be sniggering about it. If you tell yourself the person you're talking to is on your side it seems much less of an issue.
2/ if the person I'm speaking to is one of the "you've gone red" types, that won't work so I just say matter of factly, "I know, I often blush in certain circumstances. Don't worry about it, I'm not"

Since consciously thinking in that way, I seem to blush far less. I do have the occasional major episode (blotchy chest, the works) but I just carry on. I know it's awful, but try not to let it inhibit you.

LittleMissGerardLouiseButler Wed 02-Oct-13 22:49:31

cantsleep I get red cheeks when I drink alcohol too!

VerySmallSqueak Wed 02-Oct-13 22:54:06

I'm a blusher.

The worst bit is that I turn scarlet if I lie,which can be quite a problem.

I'm not the person to use to cover up anything.

MotherOfSoupDragon Wed 02-Oct-13 22:57:06

This happens to me too and I'm 49. It happens when I'm talking to my boss or colleagues. I hate it.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 02-Oct-13 23:00:12

i do too and i am 41

is worse just before my period, along with being grumpy, teary i blush easily too

slothlike Wed 02-Oct-13 23:10:44

I can completely identify with this!! I have never noticed anyone else doing it. I KNOW it's noticeable with me at least some of the time because I once went to look in a mirror after a conversation when I knew I'd blushed, specifically to see whether it had been obvious to the other person, and MY WHOLE FACE AND NECK were BRIGHT RED aaaaagh. It only started a couple of years ago as well.

Bettedavis01 - if you don't mind me asking, could you give more details about this medication? Is it anti-anxiety meds, for example, or something more blush-specific? Preventative medication would seriously improve my life, will definitely be looking into it.

BetteDavis01 Wed 02-Oct-13 23:23:01

My medication is Clonidine (sp). Dr said he normally gives it out to women going through the menopause ( im in my 30s and not menopausal) but I think it works by blocking stress hormones?

I am very sociable and friendly but whenever I talk to people I blush all over. hmm

I blush in social situations, if I drink alcohol, if I'm hot, during sex, but also... Just randomly. My blushing makes no sense. Dr also wondered if it could be my thyroid gland going a bit haywire and that testing my gland was gonna be his next step if meds didn't work.

My heart goes out to you all, it's so debilitating.

sweetsoulsister Wed 02-Oct-13 23:25:06

I have heard of an operation where they do something in your armpit - snip a gland maybe? I can't remember. A well meaning friend and I were watching this programme and she asked if I would ever consider it. I am blushing just thinking about it.

LostMarbles99 Wed 02-Oct-13 23:25:14

I have this too.

When I'm stressed, e.g. in a meeting at work, at the dr or having a heated discussion I get a crazy red rash all over my chest.

It definitely worse if I think too much about it.

I take beat blockers if I know I'm going to be in a stressful situation and they work brilliantly. Day to day blushing, however I have no control over.

Buddhagirl Wed 02-Oct-13 23:31:19

I treat this all the time! CBT. Google social anxiety. Ask for referral from gp.

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