Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To think double barrelling DC's names is a bit selfish and is storing up trouble?

(81 Posts)
grobagsforever Wed 02-Oct-13 20:28:17

So couple has child. Couple not married. DC gets double barrelled name. Or couple marry, couple double barrel their name (or just woman does) and DC get that name. What are DC supposed to do when they have DC? Quadruple barrel perhaps? It's madness. Personally I am also aginist the father's name being taken as the default, very sexist and patriarchal. IMHO girls should get the mother's name and boys the father's. That way no names die out.

Milkjug Thu 03-Oct-13 13:59:34

Not giving our son both our names was never an option for us. He has two parents, with two surnames they are, perfectly reasonably, attached to, for personal and professional reasons. The only discussion was which order the names worked best in.

A good two thirds of the children we meet of roughly his age (toddler) have both their parents' names.

You are quite at your liberty to see it as 'try-hard', but I see it as progress.

Thurlow Thu 03-Oct-13 14:18:48

Motherinferior, I'm sure they are. I was just trying to find a point to make against the perennial assumption on MN that women whose DC have the dads surname did so blindly following tradition. I'd imagine most women who decide to keep their own name on marriage or not to get married at all are unlikely to simply then follow blind tradition on names. Different scenario if you're planning on getting married and changing your name later.

AllBellyandBoobs Thu 03-Oct-13 14:53:53

My dd has a double barrelled surname as do I. It was important to me to keep my surname and give it to my daughter, my husband wanted us all to share his name. The names aren't hyphenated so it seems a bit easier to choose whichever I/she wants to use if not both, she can also make up her own mind when/if she gets married/has children. It was a selfish decision (as is choosing any name really) but I doubt it will leave any lasting scars on her psyche

Andcake Thu 03-Oct-13 15:04:11

we didn't hyphenate for the exact above reason soo my surname could be an extra middle name. his choice when he is older.
I have a Ds but if i had a DD i would be appalled if she changed her name on marriage (she would probably do it to spite me then) - i just think its so sexist and derogatory.

i'm not a huge feminist but how are women ever going to be seen as equal if we all doey eyed change our names on marriage. Girls scrawling there name with the boy they likes surname just makes me think there is no hope for equality.

Dahlen Thu 03-Oct-13 15:09:59

Given that when couples with children split up (as 50% will) 92% of those children will live with mum and of those 20% will lose all contact with their father, I think the default position should be that DC adopt mother's name, and that on marriage men should adopt the woman's name.

Or, everyone can just do what the hell they like. grin

Kendodd Fri 04-Oct-13 09:58:04

I have a Ds but if i had a DD i would be appalled if she changed her name on marriage (she would probably do it to spite me then) - i just think its so sexist and derogatory.

Me too

Given that when couples with children split up (as 50% will) 92% of those children will live with mum and of those 20% will lose all contact with their father, I think the default position should be that DC adopt mother's name, and that on marriage men should adopt the woman's name.

Actually, thinking about it logically, you're right. After all it makes the most sense if children have the same name as the person they live with and future proofing that as much as we can.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now