To be utterly fucking fuming?

(64 Posts)
EricNorthmansFangbanger Sun 29-Sep-13 07:59:05

H went out last night with work. He came in at 10.45pm, which was quite early for him. The state he came home in is what I'm so angry about. He was incoherent, couldn't stand up straight and stumbling everywhere. He woke up 7 month old DS trying to get in the house.

I had to go down to let him in. When he came in he banged about until he reached the couch and instantly began snoring. I came back upstairs, tried to settle DS. H then comes stumbling upstairs, tries to get on the bed and then falls off. When he eventually manages to get on the bed, he falls straight asleep. It took me almost 2 hours to settle DS.

Around 2.30am, H woke and stumbled around the bedroom. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he needed a wee. I told him to go to the toilet. He then pulled a bucket of clean washing, that I'd not had a chance to put away yet, to the landing and proceeded to piss in it angry Jumped out of bed and asked what he thought he was doing. He started shouting incoherent rubbish, with the odd swear word, picked up the bucket and threw it in the bathroom. Stumbles to toilet to finish his wee and stumbles back again. As soon as his head hits the pillow he started snoring again.

In the course of this, DS woke up and it took me over 2 hours to settle him. H woke at 7am and seems more 'with it', but obviously still pissed. DD1 has her very first swimming lesson at 9.30am and I'm meant to be leaving DD2 and DS here with H. I don't feel I can leave them here with him and I can't really take them with me, as not only will there not be enough room, DD2 will kick off big time if she sees the water. I don't know what to do with regards to this, whether to not go this week, but DD1 will be absolutely devastated if we don't go.

H knew that he had to look after DD2 and DS this morning and still chose to get absolutely leathered. I am tired and beyond annoyed at him. AIBU?

YouTheCat Sun 29-Sep-13 21:57:37

You can't really stop him going unfortunately. You'd kind of hope he'd work it out for himself but if that's not looking good could you arrange childcare for an hour for the little ones for when he goes on his rugby drinking binge and tell him to book a hotel or stay with a mate so you don't have to deal with this drunken manchild? That way you don't get the stress of dealing with a drunken idiot and your dd gets to go swimming.

Then book yourself a weekend off as his penance.

mysticminstrel Sun 29-Sep-13 21:49:05

(I made him come too after midday - I had spent the morning at the Dr's waiting for a sit and wait appt with 2 dc, and eventually they said it would be quicker to go to the hospital. By which point it was midday, DH's time was up so I made him get up and help me).

mysticminstrel Sun 29-Sep-13 21:46:23

I would have made him get up and come with me!

He could have been the parent by the side of the pool while you looked after your other DC outside.

DH and I have nights out but we agree what is and isn't going to be acceptable the next day.

DH went on a christmas night out a few years ago - I agreed to look after the DC til midday then he was to get up and get on with it. He stayed out til 5AM. DC2's cold developed into a chest infection and we ended up having to take her to the walk in centre at the hospital.

I made him come too, sweating and heaving. Tough shit, you do the crime you do the time.

pointythings Sun 29-Sep-13 21:35:15

I hope he did the bloody laundry for you!!! I showed DH this thread and he was horrified - he has never, ever behaved like this and never, ever will. Your H should definitely be grounded for the rugby club do, or alternatively he should pay for a hotel locally where he can sleep it off and not come home until he is presentable.

mumofweeboys Sun 29-Sep-13 21:14:57

He was an arse. If he wants to go out again I would tell him to stay with a friend or book hotel room. I make my oh do this as he only goes out once every 6 months or less but gets in the same state as your dh. I don't mind him going out but if he comes home he makes a right noise, disturbs kids and then throws up which I have to deal with. So we compromise, he goes out and stays with a mate.

parkin2010 Sun 29-Sep-13 21:00:30

I would be furious. You sound a really nice person, he sounds horrendous. Pissing in your washing, waking uo your kids and letting down his daughter would be it for me I'm afraid. Hope you are ok x

Know how you feel! Years ago, thankfully before kids, DH went out on a bender. I woke to my neighbour knocking the door at 2am asking if the bloke on the front garden belonged to me?! blush He had been dropped off and collapsed in the garden, was sick in the flower bed angry and dozed off face down. Dragged him in and he pissed on his clock radio next to his bed!! Next day the whites of his eyes were really blood shot, Oh how we laughed!! NOT! I could of killed him and often remind him, and others about it, Men are pricks of the highest order!

VeryStressedMum Sun 29-Sep-13 20:25:19

I'd be so pissed off about the washing , and about him waking the baby, however I agree with leobear, it doesn't sound like he does it every weekend. I'm a very sensible mother but believe me I've gone out and totally overdone it on drink and been in some state!
Let him sort the washing out and I'm sure it won't happen again , but if it does then that's the time to start the serious talking.

leobear Sun 29-Sep-13 20:12:19

To be fair,it doesn't sound like it's exactly a regular occurrence. We're all human we all fuck up from time to time, and if there's many people on this thread who can hand on heart say they've never overdone it on booze since they had kids - I'm not sure I believe you!

myBOYSareBONKERS Sun 29-Sep-13 20:05:19

but how will you stop him? He thinks you are only messing about even though he knows he messed up.

Doesn't sound like he takes you very seriously or respects you

EricNorthmansFangbanger Sun 29-Sep-13 20:00:21

Sorry I'm only just getting back to this, it's been a rubbish day.

I didn't end up taking DD1 to her lesson. I just wasn't happy with leaving DD2 and DS with him. I also didn't want to take them to the pool, as it is such a small space and they do specifically state there is only room for one parent for each child to attend the lessons.

He has been sober but hungover to feck. Been sick quite a few times. I'm still mightily annoyed at him and sad that DD1 has missed out today. H says he feels really bad about it and I hope he is ashamed of himself. He didn't eat and mixed his drinks. No wonder he came in sozzled.

He has a planned night out in October with his old uni rugby team. I've told him that I don't want him to go, based on how he was last night. Going out with them may mean he comes home in that state again or even worse. I think he thinks I'm messing but there is no way in hell I'm having this again and DD1 will have a lesson the day after that too...I'm not letting her miss out again.

Finola1step Sun 29-Sep-13 16:29:07

How did it go OP?

Thumbwitch Sun 29-Sep-13 13:54:33

Oh, and YANBU, just in case that wasn't obvious. smile

Thumbwitch Sun 29-Sep-13 13:54:03

I am glad that you decided to take DD1 to swimming, and that you also decided to take the other 2 with you.

I'm all in favour of leaving small children in the charge of hungover parents, but not still-drunk ones, it's just too risky as you realised.

However - his hangover should have started to kick in by now - so it's time to let him play with the 2yo grin. And as for the pissy washing, well - I think I'd probably pick out anything of his and leave it for him to deal with, but rewash the rest myself. [petty]

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sun 29-Sep-13 13:53:29

It sounds like he either had his drink spiked or took something.

What did you end up doing?

I'd have either taken them all or pretended to DD1 that swimming had to be cancelled (at the pool like that near us, it's sometimes cancelled if another group needs to use it - so not uncommon).

I hope he has done the washing again and has apologised by now.

oldgrandmama Sun 29-Sep-13 13:53:18

Worrying. Are you sure he didn't take, intentionally or unintentionally, some 'pharmaceutical'? The 'giggling' etc. this morning sound weird.

OodAlpha Sun 29-Sep-13 13:47:59

Is he sober yet OP?

I'd be particularly angry at the prospect of rocking up with the other two kids against clear instructions regarding space, and having to explain to the teacher that they had to come as their dad was too drunk to stay with them. Mortifying!

I agree you need to make sure he cleans everything (including things he didn't mess up) and on top of the suggestion of going out alone, I suggest that on your return he takes the kids to the park and leaves you to have a nap. After a trip out and an hour of peace indoors you should be feeling much calmer, and hopefully after several hours' of childcare on a hangover he'll be feeling very sorry for himself. You can talk about it properly tonight once everyone's in bed. No point in doing so any earlier.

valiumredhead Sun 29-Sep-13 13:28:09

Dear God that is revolting.

anon2013 Sun 29-Sep-13 13:23:59

so what did you do OP?

CaptainSweatPants Sun 29-Sep-13 09:25:12

Take them all to swimming
You'll be fine smile

anon2013 Sun 29-Sep-13 09:16:21

YANBU most guys have one night like this, shame him with exactly what he did (an ex decided to open a wardrobe and have a wee in it ffs!) and I'll doubt it'll happen again!.

Leave the kids with him 100%

Rooners Sun 29-Sep-13 08:53:24

It sounds like he took something to me.

Chippednailvarnish Sun 29-Sep-13 08:49:18

He sounds a right catch. He clearly has a binge drinking problem, the swimming lesson is a minor inconvenience in comparison.

Ham69 Sun 29-Sep-13 08:48:45

It's good to know they learn their lesson, isn't it grin

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