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AIBU to not disclose my sexual history?

(135 Posts)
fll28 Fri 27-Sep-13 06:12:23

I have never told my DH how many other people there were before him. He has asked a few times but I usually fob him off. AIBU? Have you shared all with your partner?

SourSweets Fri 27-Sep-13 06:15:29

Pfft, no YANBU. It's your past, it's nothing to do with him and he should respect that.

I have told my husband but only because I felt comfortable doing so, if I didn't then I wouldn't.

Sangelina Fri 27-Sep-13 06:15:38

No, I haven't and nor has he; we never asked. Its all in the past and not important to us.

MisselthwaiteManor Fri 27-Sep-13 06:17:05

YANBU, your sexual history is irrelevant to your current relationship.

Crowler Fri 27-Sep-13 06:38:29

I think a lady is entitled to keep this all to herself if she wishes. Just carry on fobbing him off.

MammaTJ Fri 27-Sep-13 06:40:51

YANBU!!

HairyGrotter Fri 27-Sep-13 07:09:13

YANBU, I've never kept a tally, I have a rough ball park figure but it's no ones business.

Xiaoxiong Fri 27-Sep-13 07:25:51

YANBU. Need to know only (eg. If an STD is involved that could affect your current partner).

NicholasTeakozy Fri 27-Sep-13 07:26:24

YANBU at all. I don't understand why so many people fixate on things like this. What's more important is the present, surely?

SoupDragon Fri 27-Sep-13 07:27:09

I think a lady is entitled to keep this all to herself if she wishes

I think a person is entitled to keep it to themselves smile

YANBU. Why would he want to know?

raisah Fri 27-Sep-13 07:29:34

Has he told you hence the questions? Really none of his business and it is going to eat him either way because he has already thought about it.

AnyFucker Fri 27-Sep-13 07:30:50

My H and I haven't shared our sexual histories either.

He's never asked. Why would he ?

If your bloke asks again, I would consider it pressurising and tell him to wind his neck in. Absolutely none of his business.

UrethraFranklin Fri 27-Sep-13 07:34:27

YANBU. I told a previous partner how many others I had been with and it got at him for the whole relationship (for the record, not that many but considerably more than his tally of 1 other person) it just added to that beautiful fountain of jealousy hmm

Keep it to yourself, if that's what you want. Since then, I haven't told anyone, there's no need in majority of cases.

doorchairsettee Fri 27-Sep-13 07:37:25

I think you are being unreasonable yes.

But then I am not ashamed of my past and have enough morals to have only slept with 2 people both of which I was deeply in love with.

SoupDragon Fri 27-Sep-13 07:41:12

"morals" LOL - Are you Victorian?

JCDenton Fri 27-Sep-13 07:41:43

Keep it to yourself. I never ask these things. Chris Rock had a hilarious routine on this, there's no answer your partner can give that's a good one!

'Two? TWO? I guess that's how was raised!'

phantomnamechanger Fri 27-Sep-13 07:41:47

well, as DH and I have only ever slept with each other, this does not apply to us, but I certainly think honesty very important and if asked outright, there should be no fobbing off/lying involved.

We haven't asked each other.
I know we both clocked up plenty before we got together but it's irrelevant
Nothing immoral about just shagging for fun, eitherhmm in fact I would say it used to be a hobby. like canoeing or somethinggrin

phantomnamechanger Fri 27-Sep-13 07:43:17

you don't have to be victorian to have a "moral" code that just happens to differ from what society sees as "normal"

Snapespeare Fri 27-Sep-13 07:44:25

He hasn't asked, I haven't told him. I'm not remotely interested in who he has slept with before meeting me. I think the only disclosure should be in relation to non-curable STDs.

SoupDragon Fri 27-Sep-13 07:45:45

you don't have to be victorian to have a "moral" code that just happens to differ from what society sees as "normal"

The comment made wasn't about a moral code though was it? It was judgemental shit about having "enough morals".

tumbletumble Fri 27-Sep-13 07:45:48

I think it's a pretty normal question to ask your partner - not the gory details though! I've never lied about it and would feel a bit hmm if my partner refused to tell me. I don't mind if it's loads!

Sockywockydoodah Fri 27-Sep-13 07:46:19

Ha - SoupDragon wins the thread grin

phantomnamechanger Fri 27-Sep-13 07:47:58

would people really not mind getting involved with someone who had slept with 1000s of people? you'd happily assume it was more like 5 or 10? and that these had all been safe?

not everyone practices safe sex, not everyone can even remember who they did what with and what protection they used.

unless you get every new partner tested for STIs, its a risky business

HairyGrotter Fri 27-Sep-13 07:48:53

I have a decent moral code, but also like fucking men. You CAN have both, I'm atheist, I have no strict morals on what I want to do with my body.

Loosen up, it's fun to enjoy yours and other peoples bodies in a consenting sweaty manner!

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