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More a wwyd on behalf of a male friend

(27 Posts)
HelpTheresPooballsInMyBed Thu 26-Sep-13 21:26:30

Male friend was in love with a girl who he thought wasn't interested in him for 5 years, right back when they were teenagers, she always gave him the brush off and acted uninterested, so he hit back by doing the same to her, however he thinks she always knew deep down he loved her. Two years ago he met a lovely girl who he formed a relationship with (no kids) and they're pretty happy together, not outrageously in love but muddling along just fine.

The girl has got in touch, seven years after they first had a quick fling and has admitted that she is in love with my friend, he is understandably a mess about this, part of him wants to give it a shot at true, true love with the woman he's always wanted, but part of him doesn't want to risk what he's got.

Wwyd?

OK. For a start, your friend is NOT, repeat NOT, 'in love' with this past fling. At most, it's infatuation. It's all a bit drama-llama, looking back to when they were teenagers and the intense hormones-all-over-the-place emotions of that time. Pining after her for 5 fucking years after she ditched him - that's not love, just hurt pride driven by physical attraction. So much easier to tell yourself that it is unrequited love rather than she's just not that into you. So much easier. So much less challenging to your self-esteem.

As for her 'admission' that she's in love with him - <blows raspberry> - bollocks. Whatever relationship she is in just now, it's got problems and she wants to be adored by somebody, anybody; and she remembers your friend mooning over her and thought 'he'll do' until I feel better about myself then I'll ditch him again.

Give your friend a good shake and tell him to grow the fuck up and stop behaving like the drooling sap out of the photo-stories in Jackie (or whatever teen magazines a 20-something would recognise).

NotYoMomma Fri 27-Sep-13 09:47:20

she sounds like a deliberate head fuck.

my dh had an ex who always made contact when she had broken up witg someone - she never botgered the rest of the time

he was hmm and told her to do one.

as your friend should do

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