To wonder why people feel so entitled to foreign holidays...?

(167 Posts)
CaptainBinker Wed 25-Sep-13 23:34:49

Ok firstly - yes this is about term time holidays.

I work as a teacher (as does DH) and therefore am never able to take holidays in term time. I fully believe that the biggest issues causing people to go on holiday in term time are greedy holiday companies and things like work rotas and can understand how people get really angry when there are such huge differences in price because of these factors.

However...we've not had a foreign holiday for 3 years because we cannot afford to go. And I can honestly say that I'm not feeling like I've missed out on anything that I should have had, the fact is that we couldn't afford it so we had cheaper days out close to home instead.

Like I said I totally agree that forcing families to pay loads extra for travel/accommodation in school hols is wrong. But AIBU to get annoyed at the people who feel that they are "entitled" to a foreign holiday every year and get really angry when they either have to scale back to a holiday in their home country or go in term time and get hassle from the school?

I guess I was brought up with the mindset of "if you can't afford it, you save up and wait until you can". Plus I had lots of nice holidays before I started working as a teacher and had DD; one of the things I knew I'd be losing when I decided to take that job and have a baby was yearly foreign holidays as we wouldn't be able to afford them. I knowingly made that choice.

Quite happy to be told IABU, just wondered what people's thoughts were...

BlackeyedSusan Wed 25-Sep-13 23:38:41

but some people can not afford holidays at all. how the hell was one of dd's friends supposed to write creatively about the seaside/holidays when he has not been away since he was 2?

CaptainBinker Wed 25-Sep-13 23:42:22

I never went on holiday until I was about 12 and that was in the UK. I can totally understand your point when it comes to affording any holiday whatsoever. My main gripe is with those who have the attitude of "I must have a foreign holiday every year". The school I work in has a lot of families who have this mindset!

CaptainBinker Wed 25-Sep-13 23:44:01

I think if it were someone who had had no holiday for 3-4 years and had scrimped and saved for a few days away quite locally then of course I have sympathy for them and would probably do the same thing. They are not the people I struggle to understand!

SaucyJack Wed 25-Sep-13 23:50:08

So you've had your share of travel experiences, and now you're bitching about others wanting the same for themselves?

I think foreign travel is far more valuable than another old week at school anyway.

Stravy Wed 25-Sep-13 23:51:51

I don't like foreign holidays but I would like to have a family holiday at some point. DP can't take time off during school holidays and we were planning to have a family holiday in 2015 (term time) but I don't know if we will be able to save enough for the fine and the holiday. It would be a foreign holiday as DP really wants to go abroad and I've had a few UK holidays with the dcs already and as it's the only family holiday DP is likely to come on then I wanted to be able to go where he wants to go. We can go somewhere cheaper but I do feel sad for DP.

neunundneunzigluftballons Wed 25-Sep-13 23:53:20

Holidays abroad for me is about the weather. Weather in Ireland is shite. We have taken DD out for the last couple of days of term from school and no one says anything so long as attendance is otherwise good. They tend to do feck all that week anyway. I do think there are benefits of getting away if you can just to completely change the atmosphere but I doubt we will be able to afford it next summer but heigh ho no biggie. I teach too but the different levels all have different summer holidays here 3 months for secondary and 3rd level and 2 months for primary and you think your kids have good holidays :-).

justanuthermanicmumsday Wed 25-Sep-13 23:53:49

I agree with you OP I grew up in the 90s likewise it was unsaid but we knew we had to save save save for everything from a pair of school shoes to family outings. Holidays abroad were never uttered.

I too had to write about my holidays blackey and my classmates likewise. We just spoke about our days spent with friends and family in the garden, at a local park or friends house. cooking with mum, making go carts out of old bicycle parts, cycling on second hand bikes. Honestly does your dds friend have to go to the beach. Im sure she could have recounted what she did in the holiday without the beach theme, even if it sounds a bore to us to the teacher and students it won't.

My kids had to write about their summer too, they also said what will we say. I simply said write all the things you did to pass time there's no need to lie. It was completely fine no child said oh you had a boring holiday. It's the adults that have this attitude. I've not ever been on a holiday abroad apart from an exchange trip with my secondary school . I haven't missed out and neither will my kids there's more to life than a foreign holiday which cannot be afforded surely.

I think a lot is down to adults having to answer "where did you go last term or last summer.?" "Oh u went no where ! shame about that I just came back from Greece."

Hopefully I will get a holiday abroad one day but it's not a must for me.the thought of taking 4 small kids abroad gives me anxiety anyway I'm waiting for them to grow up.

exexpat Thu 26-Sep-13 00:01:02

It's not just about foreign holidays - I know someone, a single parent with seven children, who has a couple of times taken them out of school for a week in term time to go to Butlins, as there is no way she could afford it in school holidays. With the threat of fines rising, she now can't afford it in term-time either, even though the oldest children are no longer at home, so no holidays for the foreseeable future.

CaptainBinker Thu 26-Sep-13 00:01:56

Errr no saucy my point is it's not the same... It's true I've had holidays abroad but that was before I had DD as I knew that from that point onwards we would no longer be able to afford foreign holidays outside term time. I'm annoyed at people who think they should still get them anyway even though they can't afford them and refuse to consider cutting back.

And stravy my issue was with the fact people want to do it every year...your situation is not like that I don't think, I'd do the same as you smile

ShakeAndVac Thu 26-Sep-13 00:02:34

No, YADNBU. My eldest is 10, and I haven't been abroad since before he was born. We still have holidays. We'd have holidays abroad if we could afford it, but I'm sorry there's no way I could justify spending the RIDICULOUS amount of money needed to take us all on an overseas holiday in the middle of the school holidays.
I refuse to take them out of school in term time either. I don't want them missing out on their education. So what do I do?
I can take them abroad in term time (which I won't ever do.)
Or I can take them on holiday during the summer holidays but it's going to be a British campsite one.
We love our weeks at Haven and they're expensive enough in August. smile

nancy75 Thu 26-Sep-13 00:03:51

We went away in term time last year, dps family live in Australia we went for a very special family birthday. Going in term time saved us about £100, which when you have paid £3k for flights doesn't really make a difference. More and more people have family in other countries, sometimes things happen abroad during term time and kids will miss some school, personally I don't think it is the end of the world if a child has a week off school.

CaptainBinker Thu 26-Sep-13 00:04:50

But exexpat do people need a holiday every year? Could they not save up and go every other year?

I think I'm a bit weird. I don't feel that need for annual holidays, maybe that's warping my judgment as I'm maybe underestimating the value that most people put on annual holidays?

ShakeAndVac Thu 26-Sep-13 00:08:56

I think I'm a bit weird. I don't feel that need for annual holidays, maybe that's warping my judgment as I'm maybe underestimating the value that most people put on annual holidays?

You sound like my DH - he could happily do without holidays every year, but I'm one of those people who need to physically get away somewhere different for a week every year! So he gets dragged along or left behind grin

exexpat Thu 26-Sep-13 00:09:40

It hasn't been every year - I think she has only taken them once every two or three years as it is. No, a holiday is not a right, but I think getting away from familiar territory every now and again is good for children (and their parents).

CaptainBinker Thu 26-Sep-13 00:10:01

But nancy that type of trip isn't something you feel you absolutely must do each year is it? I'm not talking about one-offs for special occasions, I mean the families who go abroad at the start of every term cos they "can't afford" to go at any other time and refuse to cut down the number of holidays they take because they feel they are entitled to go abroad every year...

Lazyjaney Thu 26-Sep-13 00:10:38

Travelling is an education in itself and losing a week of schooling is no big deal, it's a lot cheaper outside of school holidays, and it's often cheaper to go abroad (eg rent a cottage in France) than do the same in the UK.

LordElpuss Thu 26-Sep-13 00:10:43

Teachers are always saying that they work so hard they need the long holidays to unwind and recharge their batteries. Well so do plenty of other workers but they don't get 13 weeks of holidays; most get 20-25 days (plus bank holidays). Therefore their opportunities to unwind occur much less frequently than those in the teaching profession so they need to go for quality over quantity. Therefore if they've only got two weeks they might need to get away from the pressures of home life by actually leaving the country and getting some good weather to relax in.

Dd and I have a lot of fun in the six week break but - like the OP and her teacher husband - we can make the most of the good weather when it occurs, whereas DH could book a week off in August and it rain every day. He works hard and therefore has the right to a foreign holiday if that's what he wants - he's an adult and gets to choose.

HTH

CaptainBinker Thu 26-Sep-13 00:12:22

Totally agree exexpat, I also think if I had 7 DCs I'd need more holidays too! smile

archieplacid Thu 26-Sep-13 00:18:47

Travel is very different from foreign holidays with kids. The holiday complex provides it all really and not much motivation to go and about. The kids want the beach or the pool and not much interest in a monastery up a mountain. Like I would.
The sun is attractive. I have found myself bored shitless on some sun hols in places that no one but a goat would visit except for guaranteed sunshine and beaches. I would like a bit of time in a town or somewhere pootling about looking at dusty stuff that is not everyone's fancy and specially not a 4 year olds.

CaptainBinker Thu 26-Sep-13 00:19:15

Thanks lazy and lord, it's helpful to hear your perspectives. I teach secondary so I think that maybe clouds my vision as well, as 2 weeks off directly before a GCSE module is pretty different to missing the same time in primary.

BlingBang Thu 26-Sep-13 00:21:15

Try living in Scotland with the shitty weather - foreign holidays should be given for free.

nancy75 Thu 26-Sep-13 00:23:05

Op well generally yes we do go most years because if we didn't dd would never see her grandparents and dp wouldn't see his family. Dd almost always misses some school, the year before we went for Xmas if we had waited until the start of the school holidays we would have spent Xmas day in an airport somewhere between London & Australia

LRDMaguliYaPomochTebeSRaboti Thu 26-Sep-13 00:28:08

I think it's easy to get into competative 'four yorkshiremen' stuff here, which is what I do as a knee-jerk response reading the OP's comments.

If I were someone who'd had lots of foreign holidays and then not gone on any for three years, I'd probably feel a bit irritated that other people were pushing for a lifestyle I felt I couldn't afford any more. I've not been out of the UK on holiday (I've been on two work trips and one family wedding, though) for nine years, since I was an independent adult. I've never been anywhere wildly exotic. I think this is pretty normal. I do find it a bit tricky, therefore, to sympathize!

Is it possible some people who're so keen on foreign holidays just fancy it? Holidays are fun. If you can go, it's nice. I doubt most people who come across as 'entitled' are thinking anything more than that.

Lazyjaney Thu 26-Sep-13 00:28:24

Book a gite with a pool in the South of France OP. You'll never want to go on holiday in the UK again, and it'll very probably be cheaper too smile

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