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To be shocked that some people stand up to wipe their bum after going to the loo?

(208 Posts)
apenny4 Wed 25-Sep-13 21:43:39

So I perhaps naively assumed that like me the world and his uncle wipe their bum while sitting down after going to the loo. I can't remember how long ago it was that I discovered a good friend stands up to wipe and has done ever since she was a child. I still find it hard to get my head round - obviously I'm not talking about a wee here.

She was equally shock that I wipe sitting down.

It occasionally pops into my head and I wonder all over again, is it her or is it me, is standing or sitting more usual, or are there just a whole lot of standers and sitters out there, all oblivious to each others habits?

EBearhug Sat 28-Sep-13 14:54:04

Beetroot is mostly purple, but it doesn't always come out exactly the same as it went in. It is more red then.

this thread grin

DH a stander. I am a sitter. We were both as genuinely gobsmacked as each other that there is two ways to wipe a bottom.

squoosh Fri 27-Sep-13 22:40:56

Guinness poo is the one that scares people into thinking they're dying.

HesterShaw Fri 27-Sep-13 22:39:16

Rouge? <boggles> Surely beetroot is kind of purple rather than rouge?

EBearhug Fri 27-Sep-13 20:57:15

Talking of rouge bits of poo...

Beetroot. Not a fatal disease. But I have started a little panic more than once, till I remember when I've been eating recently.

PhallicGiraffe Fri 27-Sep-13 16:20:40

I remember being a stander as a kid, and I was probably about 7 when I realised what a superior method a sitting-wipe was. Firstly your butt-cheeks are further apart when sat, so you can give the arse-crack a much more thorough wipe. Also with a particularly messy poo, you can give it a really good rub and then just let it go straight into the toilet. There's no rouge bits of poo escaping onto the floor or your clothes, and you know that as soon as you stand, you can be confident that you are nice and clean.
All hail the sitter-wipers, you are superior.

P.s. I'm also a folder.

lucjam Fri 27-Sep-13 16:19:51

Oh don't you worry he cleans it as soon as I see it then he gets a gobfull about how disgusting he is and how I'm never going to shag him ever again.

GatoradeMeBitch Fri 27-Sep-13 16:16:27

lucjam not OP. Gah, I shouldn't be on forums when I'm ill...

GatoradeMeBitch Fri 27-Sep-13 16:16:02

I hope you don't clean up after him OP. I would be tempted to rub his nose in it!

squoosh Fri 27-Sep-13 16:09:10

HE FLICKS POO ON THE WALL BEHIND HIM??

I'm sorry lucjam, but he has to go.

lucjam Fri 27-Sep-13 16:03:50

My dh insists on standing and consequently he flicks poo on the wall behind him. It's drives me up the fucking wall. Sit down shit belongs in the loo not on the wall. Ugh. Standing is disgusting.

haggisaggis Fri 27-Sep-13 15:57:29

THis has got me remembering when I visited a manufacturing company and needed to use their loos - there were bidets in the toilet cubicles. (and the company made.....toilet paper!)

I'm in the raise-my-bum-off-the-seat-slightly-and-wipe-squatted camp.

I know it has been explained over and over but I still don't understand how you can reach behind you seated without accidentally touching the seat or bowl with your hands fairly often?

Just no. I squat. I am short though, which probably makes a difference - my legs offer no leverage whatsoever while I am seated.

HotCrossPun Fri 27-Sep-13 15:42:46

Gatorade That reminds me of a really weird ex I had. I always wondered why he took so long in the bathroom. It transpired that he would jump in the shower with his top half still clothes and jet wash his bum with the shower head after every poo.

I was horrified when we were booking a cruise and he got the agent to go and double check that there was a handheld shower head in the cabin, and explained in detail the reason why he wanted to know. blush

Pendeen Fri 27-Sep-13 15:24:53

Did the OP ever answer the question "how on earth did you get into this converstation in the first place????"

GatoradeMeBitch Fri 27-Sep-13 14:58:18

Oh no! I sit down to wipe but moist tissue/wipes are good for BMs. You wouldn't wipe poo off your hands with dry tissue for obvious reasons, same goes for your bum. I went to school with a girl who had to have a shower after a bowel movement, her whole family had that policy!

HotCrossPun Fri 27-Sep-13 14:56:23

And tampons are much easier sitting too. Just pull your trousers/tights passed your knees, open your knees and pop it in. If you stand up then you would have to put your leg on something or squat. Tis madness!

HotCrossPun Fri 27-Sep-13 14:54:44

I now understand why some people thing they need moist toilet tissues. If people are standing up to wipe then arse you would need to bend forward fully for your arse cheeks to open enough for you to wipe properly.

So much faffing.

Whereisegg Fri 27-Sep-13 14:35:47

I was reading through classics and read of a lady that pulled her tampon out at in-laws, and it flicked blood all over the floor and bathroom door.
At the time I thought it was odd but I never made the. Connection that she had managed this because people are so strange as to stand up when they insert/remove tampons and to wipe after a poo.
Madness!

Mojavewonderer Fri 27-Sep-13 14:11:29

I am a stander for both but will try sitting next time smile

ebwy Fri 27-Sep-13 12:10:01

lean to the side, use opposite hand to wipe front to back.
no need to stand at all.

I can't work out the logistics of standing, although I stand to wipe after a wee and for mooncup insertion.

FCEK Fri 27-Sep-13 09:31:09

I sit, DD stands. Not that I give a sh*t see what I did there as long as its clean

shewhowines Fri 27-Sep-13 09:26:48

Wipe wee sitting down, then stand to do the back end deed. No drips on seat. But how do you open legs far enough to insert tampn. My knickers (around knees) get in the way. Do people really have knickers around their ankles? shock I thought that was just kids.

WahIzzit Fri 27-Sep-13 07:24:31

Oh just remembered a time when dh was in the bath and I desperately needed have a no.2. Eventually I couldn't wait any longer so had to barge in. Dh was fine with letting me but then realised how disgusting the sight/smell was of somebody having a shite and started to barf and nearly vomited grin fwiw I would be the same with dh using the loo, esp because his poos stink the entire house out!

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