To be shocked that some people stand up to wipe their bum after going to the loo?

(245 Posts)
apenny4 Wed 25-Sep-13 21:43:39

So I perhaps naively assumed that like me the world and his uncle wipe their bum while sitting down after going to the loo. I can't remember how long ago it was that I discovered a good friend stands up to wipe and has done ever since she was a child. I still find it hard to get my head round - obviously I'm not talking about a wee here.

She was equally shock that I wipe sitting down.

It occasionally pops into my head and I wonder all over again, is it her or is it me, is standing or sitting more usual, or are there just a whole lot of standers and sitters out there, all oblivious to each others habits?

Tinlegs Wed 25-Sep-13 22:13:05

I try to do a hand stand to allow gravity to separate my bum cheeks because, frankly, sitting down or standing on your feet is, quite honestly, primitive behaviour. However, for those of you who separate your bum cheeks using the hand stand method, do you find it easy to tear off the loo roll with your toes?

WhiteandGreen Wed 25-Sep-13 22:13:09

Are you not reaching your arm into the enclosed poo miasma that hovers above the fetid pan?

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:13:17

Juney so...do you stick your arm round the back and down then?

HopLittleFroggiesHopHopHop Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:14

dragons, yes I stand and slightly squat to put tampons in. I thought everyone else did too!

WhiteandGreen Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:17

Are there poo trolls? shock

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:28

For a pooh, yes I lift up a bumcheek I think and wipe from foof to bum crack.

Hiphopopotamus Wed 25-Sep-13 22:14:30

I am a sitter - I'm genuinely amazed that anyone stands up! Until 3 minutes ago, I never realised that anyone did that!

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:15:34

White Oh yes! they come on with thinly disguised questions about poo...in order to get us to discuss it! And once, a poo troll pretended to be stuck in a train station toilet having shat herself! AND a Mumsnetter went to her rescue in real life with spare trousers!!

DragonsAreReal Wed 25-Sep-13 22:16:15

I just open my legs and pop one up from the front hop

I always assumed everyone sat down like me for wiping and tampons and such.

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:02

Juney you LIFT your bumcheek! You can't be fat then! I couldn't lift my cheek like that...not comfortably and I'm a size 12...not skinny but not fat either....when you say "lift" do you mean manually? Or do you just lean to one side.

(fascinated)

Myliferocks Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:02

Another sitter here.
Do the business, lean forward, hand holding toilet roll down the back then wipe from front to back.
It's how I taught my DC as well.
I never knew people stand to wipe after a poo.

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:17

I sit down for tampons too....perhaps I'm just a lazy cow who can't be arsed to spend more time on feet than necessary.

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:17:44

dragons I place one foot on the bath for tampons...just like I read in the instructions as a teen! blush

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:18:09

Haha just lean to the left and wipe with the right. May have to do an instructional video.

piratecat Wed 25-Sep-13 22:18:49

i am ample of the rear and sit and reach round and front to back. its simple. never thought about standing.

ICameOnTheJitney Wed 25-Sep-13 22:18:50

It's like nothing I've ever encountered!

Thewhingingdefective Wed 25-Sep-13 22:19:02

Surely the standers/standees don't stand fully upright? Wouldn't it be more a raise bottom up off seat but stand with knees bent?

I think I am a sitter, but lean forwards as if to stand, thus allowing easy wiping access at the rear. No hand down toilet pan required.

IneedAyoniNickname Wed 25-Sep-13 22:20:42

I have a maid who wipes for me, and another one who puts my tampons in...

No in reality I stand for both.

juneybean Wed 25-Sep-13 22:21:05

And whoever asked, when I was a child I used to stick my bum in the air and wait for my mam to wipe. Not sure she would be too pleased if I did that now...

DragonsAreReal Wed 25-Sep-13 22:21:09

Yes I lean forward and never realised until I sat up
And mimicked what I do to be able to comment on what I do. LOL this is a funny thread.

HesterShaw Wed 25-Sep-13 22:22:31

I'm a stander.

Until I joined MN it didn't occur to me there was another way or that anyone would be sad enough to care less about how another person wipes their arse

JamEyelid Wed 25-Sep-13 22:24:19

Sitter, I never thought that people might stand. Odd!

I'm an advocate of the seated side-swipe.

Me too.

Seated is best for Tampon and mooncup removal too. Standing can lead to accidental flickage.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 25-Sep-13 22:29:22

Oh don't talk to me about flickage!

<awaits hysterectomy patiently>

DoJo Wed 25-Sep-13 22:32:21

I didn't realise that people stood until I discovered that my husband does and still don't really understand how it works. Surely sitting gives you optimal access? Also, surely that's why loo roll holders are always at sitting height rather than further up the wall?

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