My mother is difficult to say the very least - 76, so well, i guess you have to forgive a bit, but i just don't know what more i am supposed to do.
She hasn't been well this past week - hurt her back, bad stomach and generally having a pants time of it. I think i have done my best to help - have been taking her dog out for walks for her, taking meals round (she can't cook for herself because apparently her sister has been tampering with her cooker - all the way from australia, thats a whole other thread right there!), getting stuff from the shops, going to the doctors with her - saturday night was there having called ambulance and agreed to stay with her etc until pain killers kicked in.
All pretty reasonable, of course, im shattered as have had to do my own stuff with DD as well. But still, she's my mum isn't she.
But have i had one word of thanks??? No, I have had - comments along the line of when i phoned to say, did you see i got the shopping you wanted, x is in the fridge, y is in the cupboard etc - "yeah i saw, but you didnt get the cat biscuits" Fast forward tonight - had taken her dog for a really long walk (no problem, i have two dogs, so he tagged along - still, knackering though, hes a big strong dog and hard work) she wanted stuff from tesco - nothing urgent - toilet tissue, lottery tickets and cigarettes. The trouble is - i took too long, picked DD up from school and had to take her to visit a new activity she wants to do - thought we could go to tesco when that was done, forgetting of course that it would be too late for the lottery tickets.
Gets out to find four missed calls on my phone - ring her - "where have you been, ive been round your house three times, i can't stay like thiss, im going to the hospital now, im going on the bus" hangs up. So i get her shopping, by now im really stressed out (i suffer from anxiety) end up fallingout with DP because im so stressed - I couldnt make the self scan thing weigh the bananas FFS, i was flustered and wanting to get round to my mums as quick as a i could. Get there to find her hobbling down the road from the bus stop.
She isn't happy because the doctor has prescribed diazepam and she doesn't want to take drugs like mental people (her words not mine, i have been on diazepam for anxiety, she knows this) I tried to explain it was a low dose and being used as a muscle relaxant to help her become more mobile etc - but no, and its all not good enough because her back has been like it 8 days. Made worse because I took too long to take the dog out on saturday and she took him herself, he saw me walking to her house and pulled her. So, my fault. She really should have waited for me, but instead of jumping, i waited for DD and DP so we could all take the dogs out together. .
The last call she made to me tonight was to ask why i hadn't got the lottery tickets - i explained that i forgot due to taking DD to activity and it taking longer than i expected. She then said "well its probably best if I don't ask you to do anything for me then, you can't even do that for me" She knows i can't let her do that as she cannot manage on her own. I am all she has so just have to take all the shit she dishes out - she drove my dad mad, he died with alzheimers and didn't even know me. She made his life hell really. Now its my turn. Apparently i don't believe her back is tht bad - well no, if she can walk then its not that bad - sorry but it doesn't warrant A&E. We offered to take her anyway.
So now have had massive row with DP and DD upset - I just don't know what to do anymore.
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To just not do any more for my mother!! :(
109 replies
LEMisdisappointed · 24/09/2013 21:23
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