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To ask dp to stop drinking now I'm 35 weeks pregnant?

(61 Posts)
Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 03:10:38

Basically that!

Well, not stop drinking but a 2 drink limit maybe.
He doesn't drive so its not for that reason but I really don't fancy a drunk birthing partner!!

He doesn't drink at home, but does go out maybe once or twice a week, sometimes just for a couple, sometimes for a skinful! Which is fine, but it would just be typical that when he's had a skinful will be when I go into labour. And like most people I suppose, once he's drunk he's not the best person for checking his phone!

So, 35 weeks about right or would you say later? Or would you say not at all?

I have briefly said it and got a yeah yeah course but I would feel better having a set date and drink limit iyswim. But at the same time if I'm being completely unreasonable I don't want to push it!

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 23:07:21

Thanks daffodilly that is exactly the situation I was worried about, and my dp has said the same!

Quite liking the idea of him looking worse than me in the photos though......

Daffodilly Tue 24-Sep-13 23:02:26

YANBU. MY DH went on a last big bender for mates stag do when I was 36+6. Waters went that night. I had to get taxi ALONE to hospital as he was in no fit state. Luckily I was sent home to labour and he came in with me for birth. BUT he complained a lot about his hangover! Upside is he looks worse than me in first photos!!

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 22:11:45

And I've not once asked my dp to stop drinking, I've not once said that! I've just said wibu to ask him to stick to a couple and not get drunk, and I haven't actually had to ask him as he has made that decision for himself!

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 22:09:49

Umm I left my xp because of his aggressive and violent nature towards me when he had been drinking. And it has nothing to do with my current relationship, I'm alot of things but controlling isn't one of them Thankyou.

PurpleFairy3 Tue 24-Sep-13 20:44:54

My DH drank throughout my pregnancy. I didn't have a problem with it - I wouldn't ask him to stop just because I had to.

HOWEVER, I definitely would not have liked the idea of him being drunk while I was giving birth! A couple of drinks is one thing - getting drunk is quite another.

calopene Tue 24-Sep-13 20:42:16

It sounded controlling and neurotic that's all. The whole attitude was just itching for a big row .......

Viviennemary Tue 24-Sep-13 20:40:26

In the grand scheme of things I'd say it wasn't worth the bother. Unless he is drinking far too much than is reasonable for his health in which case he shouldn't be drinking so much anyway.

TalkativeJim Tue 24-Sep-13 20:40:15

Calopene - your posts: snippy, too eager to hurt, rather 'bitch-festy'.

calopene Tue 24-Sep-13 20:33:09

You DO sound a bit neurotic about things tbh .......maybe your x partner has a more chilled out relationship with his wife and baby !

beepoff Tue 24-Sep-13 14:15:21

YANBU. My DH drank little throughout my pregnancy and even less in the last month of his own accord. Glad your DH is doing the same.

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 12:14:15

Haha szeli that's fab!!! Shame it didn't work though!

The week before my due date, there is filming for a major film outside my house for 3 days and so the road is closed, and a yearly street fair which is huge.

It will be just typical for me to go into labour on one of those days and create all sorts of drama!

Szeli Tue 24-Sep-13 12:09:16

Ooh and my due date disco! We decided if everyone got drunk (oh, my best friends etc) it would be a really inappropriate time for me to go into labour so I would. Didnt work tho sad

Szeli Tue 24-Sep-13 12:08:02

Didn't think it was that big an issue!

Good on your partner for suggesting it himself.

My OH stopped drinking and smoking during my pregnancy (apart from his birthday) worked for us.

mrstigs Tue 24-Sep-13 11:51:27

Is drinking really that important to some people? So important that its a big deal that a bloke might have to go 7 weeks only having two pints at a time? Its only alcohol. A pregnant woman has to make lots of 'sacrifices' during pregnancy and motherhood, but asking a man to reign in his alcohol intake for less than 2 months is a unreasonable? I find that baffling personally.
Glad your dh is being sensible op and you didn't need to point it out to him. Good on him.

SaucyJack Tue 24-Sep-13 11:49:15

YANBU at all. Why should you have to worry about needing to "sober him up" or whether you can get hold of him?- You're the one giving birth and he should be bloody grateful it isn't him doing all he can to make it as easy as possible for you. I'd be seriously worried about someone who couldn't stay off the piss for a few short weeks until their child was born.

(I realise this rant is academic as he has the basic decency to figure it out for himself)

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 11:38:22

Thanks, he has already decided himself to not risk drinking much now anyway.

I am aware that most likely labour will be plenty long enough to sober him up etc but we would rather not take that chance! I've heard far too many stories about labour happening very suddenly and quickly to take the risk to be honest. Same with early babies! Both me and my brother were early and fast babies!

For instance, one previous poster said her labour was 3 hours, by the time I've got hold of him that could be an hour, and I'd rather not then spend the remaining 2 hours of my labour with a drunken or even tipsy idiot grin

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 11:36:46

Thanks, he has already decided himself to not risk drinking much now anyway.

I am aware that most likely labour will be plenty long enough to sober him up etc but we would rather not take that chance! I've heard far too many stories about labour happening very suddenly and quickly to take the risk to be honest. Same with early babies! Both me and my brother were early and fast babies!

For instance, one previous poster said her labour was 3 hours, by the time I've got h

MmmmWhiteWine Tue 24-Sep-13 11:30:16

^Crumbs....this never crossed my mind when I had my offspring.
In my experience labour takes so long he'd have plenty of time to sober up^

^^this. I think you're over thinking things a bit. Chances are you will know the baby's on its way long before you're at the hospital. As long he's not going out getting absolutely hammered all the time then I wouldn't worry about it.

Sounds good. grin Good luck!

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 11:09:06

Thanks quintessential I know exactly what you mean! My xp was one of them.....without the baby so I dread to think what he is like with his current partner and their baby!

I have no worries about dp being like that at all, and I think I will be quite capable of nipping it in the bud if it does happen (along with his mums help who is his boss and the landlady of the pub where he would be likely to drink after work in!)

I have read the whole thread. But I am also old and cynical, and every week there are new threads posted by mums who are in tears because their partners are out drinking and coming home pissing on the carpets/in babys cot, etc.

Please ensure you are not one of them. Nip any sign of him nipping down the pub after work because he is so tired, and baby is keeping him awake, etc, in the bud.

CinnabarRed Tue 24-Sep-13 08:49:16

TBF, my first labour was 3 hours 5 mins....

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 08:48:01

Thanks. I did actually post earlier saying that he is already well aware that nights out will be an occasional thing when he's a dad.
I did also post about an hour ago saying he has made his own decision this morning about not drinking now.

I appreciate what your saying absolutely, but it would help for you to read the whole thread smile

Well, you may not think once or twice is a lot now, but if he keeps this up, and you are left with a newborn, while his life does not change, then you might find it too much. Good luck.

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 08:35:41

Many nights out? I said he goes out one or two nights a week? Sometimes with me, sometimes with friends, sometimes with family. And doesn't always drink heavily.

If I choose not to go out with him, I either watch a DVD, read a book, have an early night, all sorts of things!

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