to send my address first?

(132 Posts)
MrsPeeWee Mon 23-Sep-13 14:06:48

Long story short.
We bought a 10 week old kitten 2 weeks ago. We didn't feel she was settling in to our family so for that reason (and many others) we decided to take her back to the people we bought her from, just as they had told us too, because if she didn't settle, they'd prefer to take her back.

We took her back yesterday as well as all her food, scratch posts, etc. The lady didn't give us our money back for the kitten. She shouted over to DH as he was walking back to the car that she would pop me a message to get our address and details and post the money through my letterbox today. She hasn't messaged me at all. blush

AIBU to text her my address, so she knows I would like my money back?
AIBU to even expect her to give us our money back? I'm unsure on what is the right thing to do.

Thanks. blush

Lj8893 Mon 23-Sep-13 20:03:26

If you had of kept the kitten you wouldn't have got your money back, so surely you haven't actually "lost" any money?!

I wouldn't dream of getting any animal without knowing I would have to either pay out more money (pheromone sprays etc), and lots of time and effort to get them to settle.

Never would I think, oh it's ok I can give it back!!!

UniS Mon 23-Sep-13 20:08:12

You took the cat back on a Sunday, Had you told the seller by Friday Lunchtime that you would be returning the cat? If you hadn't given them much notice you can hardly expect to be given cash back straight away.

Yes, e-mail OR text with your address and be gracious about waiting a day or two.

VenusStarr Mon 23-Sep-13 20:17:56

So it was a pedigree? If it is a reputable breeder they will already have your details so that you can get the certificate to prove that the cat is pedigree, along with the kitten's full pedigree name. (I don't know what it's officially called as my 2 are rescue moggies)

So you've changed your mind completely about having a cat?

MrsPeeWee Mon 23-Sep-13 20:27:28

I won't deny for a second that I went in to this naive. I have never owned a pet before. I just thought, she would come here, need a few days to settle and all would be as right as rain. I didn't realise she would need the constant attention she did, going in to the second week. She was a real handful, I felt like I had a moody toddler again. Not for a second did I expect that - of course, thats my fault.

I am not desperate to receive my money back, I just wanted to know whether I should expect it back and not feel guilty about it because she automatically shouted to my husband that she woud give it us back - and whether IABU to text her my address, or whether by her not texting me already indicates that she doesn't actually have any intentions of giving it back. It's money, its not a problem!

Please can we stick to the issues I wanted answers for in my OP?

VenusStarr Mon 23-Sep-13 20:49:55

Sounds like normal kitten behaviour. My 2 are 4 and still behave like kittens.

Anyway, back to your OP... She said she would give you the money back, so I'd give her a few days and then give her a call to follow it up.

TakingThePea Mon 23-Sep-13 23:03:39

Yeah some unnecessary harsh tones here.

I got a kitten last year.....every single local rescue centre I approached said "not suitable for homes with children under 10" ......

MrsPeeWee Mon 23-Sep-13 23:31:02

Believe me Venus - if her being like a toddler was her only problem, (bless her) I wouldn't of hesitated in keeping her.

I haven't gone in to details, because I don't believe the details are anybody else's business. I shouldn't be feeling the need to explain myself because I wasn't asking about whether I should of picked her up at a shelter, or whether I should or should not of kept her. We didn't, and DH and I truly believe that was the best thing for our family. Nobody else has the right to try and tell me any different.

I was simply asking whether it would be unreasonable to text her my address first, rather than wait for her to text me asking for my address (if at all) - or whether it would be the right thing to do in maybe just leaving it and just forgetting the money.

Sigh wine

picklechops Tue 24-Sep-13 00:15:14

I would expect my money back. You are unlikely to have any dealings with her in the future. So there's no harm in texting/asking for it back.
Good luck

nanny2012nanny Tue 24-Sep-13 00:18:59

Sigh............
And people wonder why there are so many abandoned animals!
A dog / cat is for life not just for Christmas!
Suggestion .......buy a goldfish but try and rescue it from those plastic bags in fair rides.

MidniteScribbler Tue 24-Sep-13 00:46:29

I would take a pup I bred back without hesitation, and you would get a refund, but my contract states that you get your refund when the puppy is sold to a new home, and is less any costs involved if I needed to advertise for a new home, or if I have any costs in getting the puppy back from the owner (if I have to fly the puppy home, or excessive petrol costs).

MrsPeeWee Tue 24-Sep-13 00:59:32

Nanny, suggestion.... answer the actual OP rather than make suggestions that aren't wanted/needed.

You wonder why so many animals are abandoned? I would never of abandoned her! I just rehomed a kitten that wasn't right for our family and then took her back to her mommy cat.... 9 flipping days later.
Surely it was best I took her back now rather than wait until she'd been here longer and becomes older?

Why am I still justifying myself?

Lj8893 Tue 24-Sep-13 01:04:34

OP are you new to mumsnet and/or AIBU?

I only ask this because the nature of mumsnet is that people will generally analyse posts further than just simply answering your question, particularly on am I being unreasonable. To be honest you are getting off quite lightly compared to other posts!

Have a read of some threads that have posts of over 100, you are likely to find the thread take a completely different route halfway through and normally become a debate about something only very loosely relevant to the OP.

MidniteScribbler Tue 24-Sep-13 01:06:58

Just so you know, "mommy cat" is no longer interested in her offspring, hasn't been for weeks.

BigPawsBrown Tue 24-Sep-13 01:58:44

It's should HAVE. Could HAVE.

<runs away>

Morloth Tue 24-Sep-13 05:35:34

What was in your breeder contract?

You could try texting her your address. I wouldn't chase the money though, just write it off as a lesson learned.

And don't get any more animals.

You don't get to dictate what people write on threads.

Groovee Tue 24-Sep-13 06:51:11

Send a text with your address and ask when you'll get the money back.

saintmerryweather Tue 24-Sep-13 07:02:07

i wouldnt expect my money back if i returned an animal because i couldnt cope or had changed my mind. you can text the breeder your address but really its up to her if she wants to refund you or not, imo. its different if its got something wrong with it medically that you werent told about but from the tiny bit youve posted it sounds like a typical kitten to me.

Driz Tue 24-Sep-13 07:09:15

Of course you can't get your money back. Ridiculous.

Drinkprunesbutstaynexttotheloo Tue 24-Sep-13 07:12:11

Wondering why a "very expensive" kitten was bought, when you didn't have any knowledge of cats and hadn't kept a pet before?
YABU, on the basis of your rudeness to many posters and your refusal to engage with the joy that is aibu. Methinks you don't know much about mumsnet, as well as cats! Stick around, and you will enjoy it more smile

I would text your address and a polite enquiry as to when you may expect the money to be delivered.

Without a contract though, you don't really have a case for demanding your money back. The breeder may be waiting to see if she can sell the kitten and refund you from that.

The 'breeder' is a shit one btw - I don't think the blame lies entirely with OP.

Greythorne Tue 24-Sep-13 07:19:50

I would text the breeder and say: 'As the kitten did not settle, are we entitled to a refund? If so, please send the cheque at your convenience to:
Xxxxx'

It's not complicated.

Greythorne Tue 24-Sep-13 07:20:34

And it's could have / should have / would have.
Not could of / should of / would of.

comingalongnicely Tue 24-Sep-13 07:24:22

I'd text her your address - it'll give her a gentle nudge.

As for the goon squad - if she was the devil incarnate you lot are making her out to be she'd have just let it go or drowned it.

Absolutely nothing wrong with returning it to the breeder - which is precisely why so many of them offer returns....

ICameOnTheJitney Tue 24-Sep-13 07:29:09

YABVU. We once had to take a puppy back due to an extreme family emergency and we never even considered that we'd get the money back! We put the breeder in an annoying position...she had to rehome an older puppy which is hard!

livinginwonderland Tue 24-Sep-13 07:29:40

Why oh why do people get pets if they have no intention of keeping them?!

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