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AIBU?

To think our daughter is more important than his hobby?

52 replies

JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 11:47

Dd had contact with her father this weekend. She's 6. He picked her up from school on friday and returned her yesterday but forgot to bring back her shoes, coat and reading book despite me texting him a list of items to return. She won't get to change her reading book today which isn't that much of a big deal, though she's disappointed and annoyed. Luckily I had spare shoes for her but no spare coat. We walk 2 miles to/from school and it was 11 degrees here this morning so chilly enough to need a coat. I managed to get us a lift this morning but can't any other day this week. I text him telling him he'd forgotten it and he offered to bring it back on Friday morning. I said its cold, she needs it, head teacher said all children must have a coat now etc and couldn't he bring it tonight? He said he's busy with his hobby tonight and the next few nights. AIBU to demand he misses his hobby and return her coat? I can't afford to buy another and can't get to his house to collect it.

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FeliciaDoolittle · 23/09/2013 11:54

Why did you put in the bit about the head teacher? It's cold, she needs her coat. It's hardly rocket science.

What is his all important hobby?

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EldritchCleavage · 23/09/2013 11:56

I agree he should drop it off, it's pretty selfish to leave her to be cold all week because he doesn't want to bring it back.

In case he digs his heels in, could you order a taxi to go to his place and pick up the clothes for dropping off at your house? Ask him to pay for it though.

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BarbarianMum · 23/09/2013 12:00

Of course he should return it! It's a coat not a pair of socks! How far away isd he? Bet he could drop it off after his super-important hobby.

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JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 12:03

He's 30 miles away but gets free fuel from work so will only cost his time. I said the head teacher bit to him because he'll be more concerned about what head teacher thinks than about dd being cold.

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FeliciaDoolittle · 23/09/2013 12:07

Ah, a man who needs perceived authority to make him do something. I know one of them all too well. Tell him DD will tell the head teacher exactly why she doesn't have a coat.

He's an arse.

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hermioneweasley · 23/09/2013 12:07

He's a twat. Tell him he can either bring it tonight or Paypal you the money to buy another one

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YouTheCat · 23/09/2013 12:09

So what does he expect you to do until Friday? What a moron.

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anon2013 · 23/09/2013 12:11

What an annoying mean man. He's made a mistake he should fix it.

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rooobarbb · 23/09/2013 12:13

Can get a cheap coat for a couple of quid in a charity shop to use this week and then send her with that one when she goes to his in future?

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rooobarbb · 23/09/2013 12:13

And I meant to say, YANBU, he sounds an arse!

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JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 12:14

He's going to let me know later if he can rearrange his hobby apparently. He's been told to sort his priorities out and is now ranting about how unreasonable I am. Will be telling him he can bank transfer me money for a new one if not returning it tonight. It's so frustrating - he's only just started collecting dd from school on his Fridays, he's been late both times despite not working on Fridays and has forgotten important things both times. You'd think you'd just do it properly wouldn't you? It's like he's trying to goad me into saying he can't collect her if he can't do it properly. Which he probably is Sad

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JohnnyUtah · 23/09/2013 12:15

What an arse. Long term, though, is this a sign that you are going to need duplicates of things now your DD has started school?

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IShouldNotBeHere · 23/09/2013 12:15

What a selfish twat!

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JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 12:18

YouTheCat - he said 'she can manage' and then 'any normal person would just say don't worry I've got a spare, you do your hobby...!
Rooobarbb- good thinking but dd already feels uneasy about him collecting her so changing clothes accordingly just emphasises it for her - if that makes sense?

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 23/09/2013 12:18

Can't he post it to you? It could be with you tomorrow.

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IShouldNotBeHere · 23/09/2013 12:18

She'll be chilly at lunch time poor little thing.

Does he really think she should go without a coat all week? Is he stupid?

Id mention it to the teacher at pick up and say her dad is withholding her coat and things, and that you are trying to sort it out. I would make sure they know that you aren't neglectful.

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JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 12:19

Johnny - she's in year 2 but he's only just started collecting her.

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IShouldNotBeHere · 23/09/2013 12:19

So does she have a spare or is he talking crap?

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FetchezLaVache · 23/09/2013 12:20

From the title I was expecting you to be complaining about your husband spending a couple of hours playing football on a Saturday afternoon, but my word YANBU! I love the idea of threatening to get him done off the headmistress if he doesn't bring it round. Seriously though, he sounds like a fucking manchild. Annoying enough that he forgot the coat, but doubly so as you'd actually texted to remind him.

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wonderingsoul · 23/09/2013 12:20

i agree buy a a real cheap basic one, check facebook selling pages, she can wear it this week then send it in on fridays, also are you able to talk tot eh school and see if you can get home/work/bookbag sent hom thursday, as i can see him causing more issues in the long run.

hes a twat.

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StanleyLambchop · 23/09/2013 12:21

'any normal person would just say don't worry I've got a spare, you do your hobby...! Hmm

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YouTheCat · 23/09/2013 12:21

So he just expects you to magic up a spare?

Is this Friday contact through court? If it's not I'd be tempted to get him to pick your dd up from yours slightly later if that is possible. He still gets time on a Friday but you know all her uniform/coat/homework is at home.

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JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 12:21

IShouldNotBeHere - it's pathetic though isn't it and embarrassing for dd and I. I already had to ask her teacher not to send letters on his Fridays as he didn't pass them/info onto me and dd missed out on things at school as a result.

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YouTheCat · 23/09/2013 12:22

Also, he is late picking her up which is terrible.

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JeremySmile · 23/09/2013 12:25

He used to do just that, YouTheCat. School collection isn't through court so may have to revert if this carries on. Heaven forbid he take any responsibility!

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