To think our daughter is more important than his hobby?

(53 Posts)
JeremySmile Mon 23-Sep-13 11:47:53

Dd had contact with her father this weekend. She's 6. He picked her up from school on friday and returned her yesterday but forgot to bring back her shoes, coat and reading book despite me texting him a list of items to return. She won't get to change her reading book today which isn't that much of a big deal, though she's disappointed and annoyed. Luckily I had spare shoes for her but no spare coat. We walk 2 miles to/from school and it was 11 degrees here this morning so chilly enough to need a coat. I managed to get us a lift this morning but can't any other day this week. I text him telling him he'd forgotten it and he offered to bring it back on Friday morning. I said its cold, she needs it, head teacher said all children must have a coat now etc and couldn't he bring it tonight? He said he's busy with his hobby tonight and the next few nights. AIBU to demand he misses his hobby and return her coat? I can't afford to buy another and can't get to his house to collect it.

FeliciaDoolittle Mon 23-Sep-13 11:54:11

Why did you put in the bit about the head teacher? It's cold, she needs her coat. It's hardly rocket science.

What is his all important hobby?

EldritchCleavage Mon 23-Sep-13 11:56:15

I agree he should drop it off, it's pretty selfish to leave her to be cold all week because he doesn't want to bring it back.

In case he digs his heels in, could you order a taxi to go to his place and pick up the clothes for dropping off at your house? Ask him to pay for it though.

BarbarianMum Mon 23-Sep-13 12:00:41

Of course he should return it! It's a coat not a pair of socks! How far away isd he? Bet he could drop it off after his super-important hobby.

JeremySmile Mon 23-Sep-13 12:03:50

He's 30 miles away but gets free fuel from work so will only cost his time. I said the head teacher bit to him because he'll be more concerned about what head teacher thinks than about dd being cold.

FeliciaDoolittle Mon 23-Sep-13 12:07:16

Ah, a man who needs perceived authority to make him do something. I know one of them all too well. Tell him DD will tell the head teacher exactly why she doesn't have a coat.

He's an arse.

hermioneweasley Mon 23-Sep-13 12:07:18

He's a twat. Tell him he can either bring it tonight or Paypal you the money to buy another one

YouTheCat Mon 23-Sep-13 12:09:32

So what does he expect you to do until Friday? What a moron.

anon2013 Mon 23-Sep-13 12:11:19

What an annoying mean man. He's made a mistake he should fix it.

rooobarbb Mon 23-Sep-13 12:13:10

Can get a cheap coat for a couple of quid in a charity shop to use this week and then send her with that one when she goes to his in future?

rooobarbb Mon 23-Sep-13 12:13:34

And I meant to say, YANBU, he sounds an arse!

JeremySmile Mon 23-Sep-13 12:14:27

He's going to let me know later if he can rearrange his hobby apparently. He's been told to sort his priorities out and is now ranting about how unreasonable I am. Will be telling him he can bank transfer me money for a new one if not returning it tonight. It's so frustrating - he's only just started collecting dd from school on his Fridays, he's been late both times despite not working on Fridays and has forgotten important things both times. You'd think you'd just do it properly wouldn't you? It's like he's trying to goad me into saying he can't collect her if he can't do it properly. Which he probably is sad

JohnnyUtah Mon 23-Sep-13 12:15:04

What an arse. Long term, though, is this a sign that you are going to need duplicates of things now your DD has started school?

IShouldNotBeHere Mon 23-Sep-13 12:15:51

What a selfish twat!

JeremySmile Mon 23-Sep-13 12:18:00

YouTheCat - he said 'she can manage' and then 'any normal person would just say don't worry I've got a spare, you do your hobby...!
Rooobarbb- good thinking but dd already feels uneasy about him collecting her so changing clothes accordingly just emphasises it for her - if that makes sense?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Mon 23-Sep-13 12:18:03

Can't he post it to you? It could be with you tomorrow.

IShouldNotBeHere Mon 23-Sep-13 12:18:55

She'll be chilly at lunch time poor little thing.

Does he really think she should go without a coat all week? Is he stupid?

Id mention it to the teacher at pick up and say her dad is withholding her coat and things, and that you are trying to sort it out. I would make sure they know that you aren't neglectful.

JeremySmile Mon 23-Sep-13 12:19:14

Johnny - she's in year 2 but he's only just started collecting her.

IShouldNotBeHere Mon 23-Sep-13 12:19:51

So does she have a spare or is he talking crap?

From the title I was expecting you to be complaining about your husband spending a couple of hours playing football on a Saturday afternoon, but my word YANBU! I love the idea of threatening to get him done off the headmistress if he doesn't bring it round. Seriously though, he sounds like a fucking manchild. Annoying enough that he forgot the coat, but doubly so as you'd actually texted to remind him.

wonderingsoul Mon 23-Sep-13 12:20:49

i agree buy a a real cheap basic one, check facebook selling pages, she can wear it this week then send it in on fridays, also are you able to talk tot eh school and see if you can get home/work/bookbag sent hom thursday, as i can see him causing more issues in the long run.

hes a twat.

StanleyLambchop Mon 23-Sep-13 12:21:14

'any normal person would just say don't worry I've got a spare, you do your hobby...! hmm

YouTheCat Mon 23-Sep-13 12:21:22

So he just expects you to magic up a spare?

Is this Friday contact through court? If it's not I'd be tempted to get him to pick your dd up from yours slightly later if that is possible. He still gets time on a Friday but you know all her uniform/coat/homework is at home.

JeremySmile Mon 23-Sep-13 12:21:56

IShouldNotBeHere - it's pathetic though isn't it and embarrassing for dd and I. I already had to ask her teacher not to send letters on his Fridays as he didn't pass them/info onto me and dd missed out on things at school as a result.

YouTheCat Mon 23-Sep-13 12:22:53

Also, he is late picking her up which is terrible.

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