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To think that my word should be final

(53 Posts)
phantomhairpuller Mon 23-Sep-13 10:33:57

For example- if I (or DH) tell DS1 he cannot have any sweets until after a certain time, that is what should happen?!

At some point or other, all the grandparents have been guilty of something similar but have stopped once we've pulled them up on it. Except MIL.
I'm actually now starting to think that she is doing it deliberately to undermine our authority as parents.

Her and FIL stayed with us this weekend.
Saturday morning DS1 does his usual thing of asking for sweets before he's even had breakfast! I told him he could have some after he'd been to rugby (at 12pm) MIL heard me say this- she even repeated it to him.

Fast forward an hour. I come down from having a shower, she's giggling like a bloody schoolgirl and tells me she's given him a packet of sweets which he's already eaten confused

Bugger me, I get in from putting the washing on the line another hour or so later to find DS hiding under the kitchen table with ANOTHER packet of sweets. Which she confessed to giving him.

This isn't the first time she's done it either.

A few weeks back, we stayed with them. DS1 was messing around with his breakfast so I told him that if he didn't eat it, he wouldn't have any treats during the day (we're trying to lay a few ground rules with food at the moment as he's getting to be a right PITA at mealtimes wink)

I returned to the room a few minutes later to find his breakfast plate empty and him eating a chocolate biscuit.
MIL then makes a comment along the lines of 'granny likes marmite on toast too'- and starts giggling. FIL looked at me, rolled his eyes and said 'I told her not to'.

AIBU to be getting pissed off with this now? In my eyes, all she is doing is undermining me. Deliberate or not, I don't know.

MN jury- what do you think? Maybe I'm just being over sensitive?!

Echocave Tue 24-Sep-13 15:45:54

I agree that YANBU especially as ds is so young. My dd's little face homes in on cake etc if her GPs are round for tea. We generally don't give her any but when my Dad ignored a specific request not to give her cake and gave her some chocolate cake (she's not yet 2) DH told him off quite firmly (he didnt bother to hide his irritation). My Dad, bless him, now doesn't give her cake, instead we get her one of her snacks (usually lower in sugar!) .

Any GP ignoring this needs to be firmly told its not what you want.

Callaird Tue 24-Sep-13 16:43:58

I'm a nanny and I have encouraged parents to tell grandparents that the additives in sweets make the child come out in horrific eczema a few days later. And that chocolate has a laxative effect on them!

I have stock photos of ex-charges who had eczema when it was at it's worse which we show grandparents. We also tell tales of nightmare explosions in the middle of the night that left the child distraught and exhausted! We don't encourage the children to lie. Although most of my charges have been around a year old when grandparents want to start giving them little treats.

I also tell them that the children won't remember being spoilt with sweet treats, they will however remember the atmosphere during visits and that mummy and daddy were cross with granny and that made them sad. They will remember treats of outings to the zoo, park, swimming, kisses and cuddles and spending time with them.

I/my bosses don't ban treats and when we know granny is coming we restrict our giving of treats for the week before and afterwards so that granny can spoil away, but with the proviso that it is chocolate and it is after lunch so that mummy and daddy have a disturbed night. We also tell them that a nice cream is a great treat when they are out but no brightly coloured ice lollies!

But I am a bossy nanny!

Callaird Tue 24-Sep-13 16:45:56

mummy and daddy don't have a disturbed night

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