Brother and his ILs over Xmas season what to do?

(30 Posts)
MissDD1971 Sun 22-Sep-13 17:59:32

There are 2 of us, me and my brother. At Christmas I tend to go to my mums (both of us in London area) and my brother goes to his ILs house who are in SW England.

Both my brother and his wife don't see ILs much partly because his wife works 3 weekends out of 4. She hasn't always done this.

Brother comes to us for Xmas eve but then is in bath all Xmas week. Sometimes my aunt and uncle come over but unless I see friends I feel obliged to stay at mum and dads. My brother has now stayed with them approx 5 years running. God knows what they'll do when kids come along. My mum is a bit hurt he can't spend Xmas with or without wife and ILs but she rarely makes a fuss. She'd like brother round a bit more though she's told me.

AIBU to think my brother at least should spend more of Xmas with us or am I being selfish?

I did suggest we could stay SW England as ILs can only really put up 3 people and their spare double is too small for my parents....

MissDD1971 Mon 23-Sep-13 13:22:24

Ghoul - no space for Brother to host us all, well in theory yes, but we normally eat out as they have a tiny flat.

PeppiNephrine Mon 23-Sep-13 13:24:56

I don't think I will, actually.
Don't post in aibu if you don't want different answers. Seriously, leave your brother to sort out his own affairs, its only your business if you make it be. Beak out, angst over.

MissDD1971 Mon 23-Sep-13 13:27:39

DeWe - there is one reason - well sort of - brother's FIL is in wheelchair after a stroke (but he can stay with brother in London and my mum has offered to put him up at their house in London. My mum's downstairs toilet even has a handrail for him and is fairly easy access for him.

But that isn't the main reason. The MIL is quite a force and always wants her way - her daughter doesn't dare disagree with her or wants to make waves.

I just would like my brother around too a bit more over Xmas. I wouldn't mind if he weren't gone the entire Xmas week including Xmas day. I am going to book myself a nice Xmas holiday abroad and leave them to it. smile

It's not just Xmas either it's Easter etc too - always with them. But my mum will just have to put up and shut up. I do hope they aren't deprived of grandchildren though. And yes, sorry but I do feel sorry for my mum, at home without her son on Xmas Day - they could easily swap years - do alternate ones.

MissDD1971 Mon 23-Sep-13 13:29:40

Peppi - I choose to ignore you now and in future. No need to tell me and others how far in advance to organise Christmas.

Oh I get it - obviously you're like Pippa Middleton re planning and advice - Peppi Pippa. LOL grin

MissDD1971 Mon 23-Sep-13 13:33:38

actually - look sorry Peppi for having a go - this just gets me riled up. and upset. smile

My brother knows this upsets my mum but my mum's learned to live with this and I should butt out.

doesn't help that we're a close family otherwise.

i do feel very obliged to be with my mum over Xmas.

I just wish we could split things more as a family but am going to leave it and IABU.

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