To ask if you find your parents/PILs company boring?

(68 Posts)
LordElpuss Sun 22-Sep-13 17:19:21

This isn't a PIL bashing or anyone else bashing thread but a genuine question.

PIL live a couple of hours away and we don't see them very often. They are here today and, lovely though it is to see them, I am so bored with their company. We've been out with DD, had lunch and are now having a cuppa before walking the dog but ... they won't be leaving until 8.30pm on the dot (no chance of them going earlier). And I find it hard to make conversation with them and I suspect I'm not the most exciting company either grin

My own parents are long dead so have nothing to compare it with but I do worry that DD and her future DH will one day find us a bore! Do you feel the same and, if not, what makes them interesting?

cq Sun 22-Sep-13 17:23:36

Yep, PIL's here for the weekend and they've gone upstairs for a 'lie-down'. WTAF? So that means they won't be tired tonight and will sit up late monopolising my TV with crap turned up V V loud.

And they've said would it be ok to stay until Tuesday. To which DH says, oh yes, lovely, as he will be fucking off to work all day. And MIL wants to trawl round our lovely local charity shops. I am beyond suicidal.

They used to be quite good company but they are now increasingly frail, getting very deaf so conversation is hard work, and their dietary requirements are frankly bizarre. But yes, I do keep reminding myself that one day I will be old and I would hate for DS to feel about me the way that DH feels about his mother.

I must remember never to overstay my welcome.

CaptainCupcake Sun 22-Sep-13 17:29:40

My parents, no. When they visit (we don't go to theirs because an old, grumpy, incontinent dog and a toddler don't really mix) we sit and have actual conversations. Catch up on news, then just chat. Conversation flows naturally.

With in-laws, there is a lot of sitting in silence. I try to make the effort to keep conversation going but nobody else bothers so I wonder why I do! We go round, have a few cups of tea (each one following the same tedious "mock argument" about who is going to put the kettle on) make small talk and leave again.

It's hard, I see the in-laws are at your house which I usually find makes things easier!

NotYoMomma Sun 22-Sep-13 17:33:18

parents - no they are fab. a bit hyacynth bucket but aware of it ;p allow us to point it out while they make fun of our string vests and beer habit

pil - no they are fab. mil loves a gossip and shamefully so do I

we are all very similar people at our core.

except my dad votes Tory shock
discussing politics can end up very entertaining indeed

Lj8893 Sun 22-Sep-13 17:36:56

I dont find my mums company boring, but we are very very close, she's like my best friend as well as my mum.

I don't find my Mils company boring either but then she's a very young spirited, fun loving woman.

I can sometimes find my dad a bit boring, but not overly so.

But I think I'm pretty lucky!

pictish Sun 22-Sep-13 17:37:01

My mil is a bit like hard work. She's a kind and clever woman, and her choice of subject matter is always interesting and well informed, but she's not a chatterbox or especially warm, so it's a bit like pulling teeth. I could handle a whole day of her...but only just. Her dh is much easier, as he's a right blether, and full of anecdotes. He's very easy to talk to. I wouldn't mind spending a day with the two of them. They're a damn sight more interesting than a lot of people.

Fil - well...tumbleweed springs to mind. We have nothing in common and there's a faint air of mutual dislike between us. He's a crashing snob and looks down his nose at me, and I treat him with the polite avoidance he deserves. I don't think we've ever actually conducted one conversation that was soley between the two of us, in 16 years. His wife is impossible to talk to. She talks at us a lot, but that's not quite the same thing. She's so self satisfied, yet at the same time thoroughly dismissive of others, that it is bordering on the sociopathic.
Whole days with them are f e w and f a r b e t w e e n.

LordElpuss Sun 22-Sep-13 17:37:26

Do they have lots of hobbies, friends, interests?

reelingintheyears Sun 22-Sep-13 17:37:54

I loved doing the charity shops with my Mum, and she always wanted to pay...so I let her!
She used to get her Christmas cards from them, in January. grin

I have been known to do the same.

skylerwhite Sun 22-Sep-13 17:40:20

I have a thread about PIL and Christmas.

My parents: not boring at all. Outgoing, sociable, hospitable, love seeing family, v supportive of all their children, have an active lifestyle.

My PIL: the opposite. Rarely leave the house. Have no friends. All they do is sit around and watch tv. The dog is the only subject of conversation and is relied upon to fill awkward pauses (no harm to the dog). It's excruciating. They have sad lives, so I feel kind of sorry for them, but I resent their refusal to make any positive changes for themselves.

reelingintheyears Sun 22-Sep-13 17:40:27

It did get a bit dull listening to stories about her and her friends' visits to the garden centres though.
And her pal's GC <<groan>> but then her friends were all lovely and kind and used to send my Dc Christmas and birthday presents. smile

josephinebruce Sun 22-Sep-13 17:41:53

My parents bore me silly.
My PIL's used to bore me silly too.

IN fact most of my family bores me.

HindsightisaMarvellousThing Sun 22-Sep-13 17:42:08

My mother isn't around any more, and I never found her company boring. My father can be dull - getting deaf, and we have no interests in common plus he tends to want a chat about 5.30 every day, which is the worst time of day for me.

My MIL can talk for England, and does. DH says she is all output, no input. You could put the phone down and make tea, hang the washing out, come back and she'd still be wittering on about bus passes. So so dull.

My step MIL and FIL are great, entertaining, a great laugh.

I suspect it is all to do with a similar sense of humour.

thegreylady Sun 22-Sep-13 17:42:18

Bloody Hell I hope my dc don't find us boring! I was never bored by mine orby mil but sfil used to read the Daily Telegraph aloud to anyone sitting near him. He was the most boring person I ever met.

moustachio Sun 22-Sep-13 17:42:55

PIL bore me. They're not very old (49/50) but we just don't have a lot in common and FIL is very attention which I tend to ignore.

My parents I get on with. I do find mymums slightly old fashioned ways draining though. We live together and she often comments on my clothes if they are too patterend or different. I also get critisised for cooking DF something new (which he likes, but she likes her set repertoire of meals!).

moustachio Sun 22-Sep-13 17:43:27

*attention seeking

Bonsoir Sun 22-Sep-13 17:44:14

Oh gosh yes. My DP tells me that my face sort of glazes over and I become very silent after 1.5 hours in his father's company (and his RIP mother's before).

My parents aren't nearly as boring but they aren't improving with age. They've got to the life stage where visits to the doctors are the principle driver of activity outside the home. I feel sorry for them, but there is only so much I can take and I really cannot bear to hear about their friends' illnesses too.

Latara Sun 22-Sep-13 17:45:09

I have no PIL (luckily maybe??) as not married / not got serious OH.

My parents are great, easy to get on with and talk to. They are like friends.

Yama Sun 22-Sep-13 17:45:09

My parents are easy company. They just go with the flow, are great with the dc and happy to chill.

Mil is also good company. Very well educated and interesting. I enjoy her company immensely. Her dh is okay.

Fil and his dw we rarely see.

To sum up - my parents and mil are all great. Other relatives of that generation not so much.

Kamchatka Sun 22-Sep-13 17:47:35

Dad, no, we get on OK.
Mum, awful. She is Mrs Boring of Boringtown.

ILs: they are sort of bohemian and right on, but actually if you analyse things (I have had over two decades to do this) they are horribly judgemental in a very quiet way, and also capable of utter tediousness.
(I "didn't mind" for years but was dissed big time stylee recently by them so I have let that particular filter fall away...)

My FIL is pretty great company. We are both quite opinionated and don't always agree but we always get on well. I introduced him to sambucca shots!

badguider Sun 22-Sep-13 17:49:32

My parents are quiet. Once a conversation gets going they're really great to talk to but theyre not exactly bubbly.
PILs are extrovert and chatty and easy company but don't do deep or fascinating conversations.

Kamchatka Sun 22-Sep-13 17:49:46

It is definitely true that they all become more boring with age. It's just beginning for us and we occasionally exchange a glance that means 'Kill me now, we might have years of hearing about this fence repair.'

I assume it will happen to us in turn, though hmm

Inkspellme Sun 22-Sep-13 17:49:58

my parents are no bother -very relaxed, plenty of chat and they know my kids very well. my mom can be a bit rude with no knowledge of being so iyswim.

my mil is harder work. She's fairly self absorbed and can be very hard work. She has a very low tolerance level of kids as well so that doesn't help. My dh feels the same way about her as does my sil (married to dh's brother) so its just the way she is. fil is deceased.

its hard marrying someone as you kind if get their family as part and parcel of the deal. I'm sure my dh would say the same thing about his inlaws!

fluffyraggies Sun 22-Sep-13 17:50:39

Depends on the length of the visit and who else is there.

My father has passed away and mum is old for her age and is very Daily Mail. I'm afraid these days if she's not telling me in detail about all her neighbours medical problems she's frothing about foriners and single parents on benefits hmm When i do get a word in edgeways i'm allowed apx. two sentences before being cut off again with one of the above. Gets very waring very quickly.

PIL are 10 years younger in age and outlook and are better company. MIL is lively and loving and chatty. She does have a tendency to monopolise the conversation with repeats of the same stories over and over again about her upbringing. Or repeats of very obviously heavily embroidered tales of how she managed bringing up 4 children while being so very tiny and frail hmm

But i love them all anyway grin I'm sure i'm not the most fab company in the world.

FortyFacedFuckers Sun 22-Sep-13 17:53:03

My parents no I see them regularly and the conversation is very easily PIL I see 2-3 a year and after the first 5 minutes after how are you, fine etc it is very forced.

I don't know if it's easier because of ages I am late 20's parents late 40's but in laws are 60 and we have absolutely nothing in common and don't seem interested in hearing about DS or our work where as my parents are very interested in everything and they will chat away about work etc.

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