To be hiding from next door's children

(44 Posts)
EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 22-Sep-13 15:50:44

They are in our house again. They have been here since about 1pm. They have been over every day after school this week, and the same thing happened last Sunday too.

I am hiding upstairs in the bedroom "marking books" as I have now had enough.

I have two boys, aged 8 and 7, next door's boys are aged 7 and 5. The two 7 year olds are in the same class at school and get on very well. The 5 year old shouts a lot and cries if they don't let him get his own way. My 8 year old is fed up as he is trying to play Minecraft in peace.

They wait for us to get home from school every day and knock on the door almost as soon as we walk in. This is usually my husband's problem rather than mine as he does pickup, I'm still at work.

I did chuck them all into the garden when they first came round, and then took the younger three to the park for an hour to play football, feel I've done my bit now.

How do I politely say "go home now you are driving me crazy"?

Misspixietrix Sun 22-Sep-13 19:23:20

*friends. Oops!

bloodybutunbowed Sun 22-Sep-13 19:43:07

We've had a lot of success with putting a red/green sign on our front door - green = knock, you're welcome to play, red = don't knock, you'll be ignored or told to go away. Didn't take the neighbouring children long to learn and the message spread to other kids in the street.

AaDB Sun 22-Sep-13 20:05:43

I don't mind hosting most of the time when it comes to having friends for tea. They are always prearranged and never on spec. One little friend mentioned his DM would never allow ds to come over for a return visit, we decided it wasn't worth the effort of having him over (very lively and fussy).

I'm surprised that your ndn isn't fair about reciprocating. I'd hardly notice an extra 7 year old wink . As it's a change, I would speak to the adults and say no more unexpected visits/ what is tolerable/ your 7 yo ds would like.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 22-Sep-13 20:25:05

I don't think it's neighbour's fault really, I think the children just ask to come here and she lets them. She's happy for them to go over there too. They just seem to be here more than there at the moment.

I like bloody's idea of a sign. I nearly ignored our other (grown-up) neighbour the other day as I was hiding from the knocking!

SpottyDottie Sun 22-Sep-13 20:28:45

Oh Op!! Just say NO. Every day would drive me completely around the bend. It is taking the piss, however nice the children are or how well they get on with your DC. Of course their mother is going to let them if you continue to allow it to happen.

DontmindifIdo Sun 22-Sep-13 20:32:41

Loudly tell them next week "oh, I've got some work to do and need to concentrate, so sorry, can't play here this week, although, DS2, do you want to go to their house?"

ICameOnTheJitney Sun 22-Sep-13 20:32:44

I think the neighbours are taking the Mick. I have a 9 year old and an almost 6 year old and I would never foist the younger DD on the older DDs mates!

It's just not on unless they ask or are doing a specific thing...like skating or if I'm taking them all on a little trip to the cafe or something.

Finola1step Sun 22-Sep-13 20:39:45

Your neighbour must love living next to you. Free child care after school and at the weekend. And she doesn't even have to ask, the children do. If only I had this sort if arrangement. My house would sparkle and I would be on top of all my paperwork. Oh no wait... I wouldn't because I'm not a mickey taker.

Foot down. Firm. Now. Or as the Autumn and Winter draws in, those kids will be in yours even more.

Have I understood you correctly, Endoplasmic - is it usually your dh who is at home when the dc get home from school? Because, if so, he needs to start turning them away at the door - can he do Firm Teacher voice, or could you teach him?

Dubjackeen Sun 22-Sep-13 20:47:50

OP, I agree with other posters. Your neighbour is totally taking advantage. No way should they be arriving like that, every day, and staying for hours on end. You and your husband need to get tough. Decide what days, if any, you want them, and limit the time. No ifs, buts, or maybes, out the door, when YOU say it is time to go home. And no admittance, on certain days.

Idespair Sun 22-Sep-13 20:52:59

I couldn't tolerate that. People visit when they are invited. I visit people when I am invited. What a nightmare. I'd put a complete stop to it as I couldn't stand the constant invasion.

Astr0naut Sun 22-Sep-13 20:53:31

Make them all play outside. It was a kind of unwritten rue when we weer kids that you didn't go in each others' houses. I didn't get to see inside my best friends' houses until we were 13!

defineme Sun 22-Sep-13 21:00:05

I have this issue.
I am very very firm....
I say they have to play in the garden because I've just tidied/cleaned/I have work to do.
I have been to tell parents of 3 year old that I'm not comfortable having an unsupervised 3 yr old in my garden so can he wait to be invited, because when he's invited it means I have the time to supervise.
I time limit and stick to it.
I say no, but they can come to your house if you want...it's then up to my kids.
If we are having family time I just say no we're having family time.
Or I tell them all to go and play in our back lane.
If it's not working out/kids are falling out...I just say it's time to go home now-no reasons offered.

I'm not a total bitch..I just do what suits me. What suited me today was taking 2 extra kids to the park with my 3 because that made life easier not harder.
It would not have suited me to have them in the house.

steppemum Sun 22-Sep-13 21:27:53

my dds are 8 and 5
friends a few houses down have kids aged 7 and 5

Mine often go and knock on their door to play. But we are very careful to space it out, not every day. And if they were there for a long time last time, I make sure they ask if the friends can come to ours to play, so it is balanced.

But I also make sure that the oldest two get time without the little ones. I let dd1 go down and knock and keep dd2 at home. They get fed up with the younger ones always being there

If kids knock when it isn't convenient, we just say, sorry can't do it today

TootsFroots Sun 22-Sep-13 21:33:42

I think you are being really daft (sorry). They are kids - let them in when you want to and say 'sorry guys you have to leave now' whenever you want them to go. It really is that simple shock

Not saying anything then snapping is not fair on the kids.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 22-Sep-13 22:00:16

SDGT yes it is usually husband at home. He is very laid back, so hasn't objected, which is maybe why it's got to be so often. It is starting to irk him too now though.

Toots I didn't snap at the kids, I was very polite.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 22-Sep-13 22:03:31

steppemum this is what I don't quite get, when the boys ask for the 7th day in a row "can we go and knock next door" why their mum doesn't say "no, you've been loads, give them a break".

That's what you do, that's what I'd do.

I don't want to fall out over it either, I like neighbours. My younger son likes the boy his age. My older son was hiding in his bedroom the other day too, so I think for his sake if not mine I'm going to have to toughen up a bit.

Do you check to see what position the parents' bedroom curtains are in when you're hosting the biys?

<<nods sagely>>

Do you check to see what position the parents' bedroom curtains are in when you're hosting the biys?

<<nods sagely>>

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