to think SIL's lucky she hasn't been arrested for criminal damage?

(109 Posts)
WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco Sun 22-Sep-13 15:47:03

She's just said that her neighbour was so rude to her that she went home and cried.

SIL had weeded her neighbours front garden because she decided it needed doing. Later on she saw the neighbour cleaning her windows so joked, 'oh you can do mine if you like' and the neighbour snapped 'not bloody likely'.

SIL said, oh and I weeded your garden for you. Neighbour said, yes, I know, you've pulled up all the wildflowers I planted.

shock

SIL went home and cried, not because she felt bad but because the neighbour was rude, and shoudl bloody well keep her garden weeded, and told me that next time she's just going to put weedkiller down.

I've offended her now because I said she's bloody lucky not to be charged with criminal damage, and that if anyone did that to my garden I'd be furious. She has done it to us as well, she just comes round and starts cleaning or pulling up 'weeds', now I know she means well and mostly let her get on with it but I think she's seriously fucked her neighbour off.

The thing is, I'm pretty sure she'll carry on, and I do think the neighbour won't stand for it.

I thin kI need to say more to her, make it crystal clear that what sh'es doing is not NORMAL and that the neighbour is completely right to be annoyed.

AIBU?

NellysKnickers Sun 22-Sep-13 15:49:55

Ha ha, she sounds like my Grandma, she's a bit dotty and does things like that but she is 80+ .
YANBU

FeckOffCup Sun 22-Sep-13 15:51:20

YANBU she really needs to learn some boundaries, I would snap at her too if she trespassed in my garden, she needs to mind her own business.

hermioneweasley Sun 22-Sep-13 15:52:47

YANBU - does she have mental health problems?

Wow, she definitely has some boundary issues.

WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco Sun 22-Sep-13 15:54:23

She said she's going to get rid of the neighbours pyrocanthus as she hates it and it's not a suitable shrub because the neighbour has children.

She just wouldn't listen when I said, with a massive shock face, you can't DO that!

ShadowSummer Sun 22-Sep-13 15:54:39

YANBU.

It's definitely overstepping normal boundaries to start weeding someone else's garden without their knowledge or consent, regardless of how well-meaning your motives are.

I'd be annoyed if one of my neighbours decided to start messing about in my garden like that, even if they were pulling out plants that I did consider to be weeds.

MaBumble Sun 22-Sep-13 15:55:04

Your SIL sounds well meaning, but interfering - I'm not surprised the neighbour was rude.

Maybe sit her down and explain that you know she meant well, but that people are very territorial about their gardens. They often see it as a way of relaxing, wanting it just the way they like or. Ask her if her neighbour let themselves in and changed all her things in her sitting room, throwing put 'old' pictures and ornaments, would she be upset?

Suggest for the sake of harmony she pop round with a packet of wildflower seeds and an apology.

rosiedays Sun 22-Sep-13 15:55:25

Can you send her to my house please. smile

Is this the same SiL who mows the next door's garden too or am I confusing her with someone else?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 22-Sep-13 15:56:37

Bloody hell. I don't blame the neighbour for being pissed off. Your sister in law cannot understand that she has no right to tresspass in someone else's garden or to decide how their garden should look? In your shoes I'd be telling her look, it's not your place to decide how someone else's property should look. you've got no right to set foot on her garden, much less decide what she is or is not allowed to grow in her own garden!

WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco Sun 22-Sep-13 15:57:02

Yes, same sil, and same neighbour. She was pissed off because the neighbour didn't offer her a cup of tea when she mowed her lawn 'for her' without permission.

She;s just taken it a step further now.

hermioneweasley Sun 22-Sep-13 15:57:16

This is not normal behaviour. Does she have a partner you can speak to?

Pawprint Sun 22-Sep-13 15:57:29

YANBU

She mustn't put weed killer down - for a start, it's dangerous stuff and secondly it's not her business to do her neighbour's garden.

spindlyspindler Sun 22-Sep-13 15:57:41

How would she like it if people came into her garden and started pulling up what she'd planted because they thought it was inappropriate?

(God knows how you explain this to someone who doesn't see why it's wrong without it being explained, though)

WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco Sun 22-Sep-13 15:58:01

I'm actually really concerned about this, I mean, she does a lot of stuff that I find off kilter, but this is a whole nother level of batshit.

She threw away the leftover crackling from my roast pork last week, I nearly moidered her for that.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 22-Sep-13 15:58:04

x post. It gets worse! shock Would she be ok with the neighbour doing the same to her? Have you asked her that?

spindlyspindler Sun 22-Sep-13 15:58:26

It's not much different from going into someone's house and chucking out any ornaments you don't like...

WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco Sun 22-Sep-13 15:58:38

DH is going to speak to his brother (her DH) tomorrow, it's unlikely he knows she's doing this.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 22-Sep-13 15:58:40

I actually think she needs help.

JeanBodel Sun 22-Sep-13 15:59:28

I sow wild flowers in my garden.

I would be blimmin' livid if some idiot neighbour came around and pulled them all up.

If you don't manage to stage some sort of intervention, I imagine SIL is going to end up with a restraining order at the very least.

MrsGeologist Sun 22-Sep-13 15:59:49

She really does need some help, you don't just pull up other people's plants.

YouTheCat Sun 22-Sep-13 15:59:59

I think she needs a visit from the local community officer about trespassing.

FeckOffCup Sun 22-Sep-13 16:02:28

I think she needs help too, is there a reason she can't understand that she needs to stay out of the neighbour's garden? She will end up either being arrested or with a smack in the mouth if she cuts down that bush.

CharityFunDay Sun 22-Sep-13 16:03:30

Has she always been like this, or has some life-changing event sent her a bit doolally, or what?

YANBU

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