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AIBU?

To think I should tell this child's mother

104 replies

Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:00

At my DDs swimming school class last week one of the children spent the majority of the 30 minute session in tears. Towards the end one of the teachers seem to be getting quite frustrated and said 'If you don't stop crying I'll take you down the deep end' her mother didn't hear this as she was down the other end, I don't know her but should I tell her? I don't think using the deep end as a threat is helpful especially to a child who seems petrified anyway

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Justforlaughs · 22/09/2013 13:02

I would, and if it was MY child I would want you to. (just so I could push the teacher in the deep end myself! Wink )

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Silvercatowner · 22/09/2013 13:05

Flipping heck yes! Poor kid.

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AgentZigzag · 22/09/2013 13:06

How old are they?

Was she crying because she was scared?

It is frustrating when DC can't stop crying, but it's the instructors job to be able to take that in their stride. It's surprising they thought the threat of drowning would improve the swimmers confidence, they could have told her to get out if she was that upset.

Why did the mum leave her in there while she was so upset for so long though?

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Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:09

She looked 4-5 ish, she seemed scared as didn't want to let go of the side to be taken with float to do a width. The mum was down the other end chatting to some other parents

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MikeOxard · 22/09/2013 13:11

Yes, of course tell the mother, she needs to know imo. I would want to know if this had happened to my child, because I would definitely be swapping swimming classes. That's disgraceful. Please do tell her ASAP.

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Icelollycraving · 22/09/2013 13:12

Tell her! Poor kid :(
If someone said something like that to my ds I would want to know.

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Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:14

It also crossed my mind that she might freak out when her mum takes her swimming for pleasure and she wouldn't know why

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AgentZigzag · 22/09/2013 13:15

Aww, only little then.

The right age for taking an adult saying something like that at their word.

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Itsaboatjack · 22/09/2013 13:20

Had the mother been down the other end chatting for the whole lesson while the child had been crying? If so then you may be wasting you time telling her as she doesn't seem that bothered.

I understand giving your child some space to see if they'll calm down and get into the lesson themselves, but if my child had been crying for all that time I would have taken them out of the pool already.

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calopene · 22/09/2013 13:21

NO ! Just a comment and may even have been in jest .......what is it with people who think it is their job to bé a 'public snitch'. I would tell you to mind your own business and likely the kid will forget the comment anyway. Mountain out of molehill !

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everlong · 22/09/2013 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:25

Grin at 'public snitch' maybe I should get a little badge made

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kali110 · 22/09/2013 13:27

Actually agree with calopene here

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Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:29

She's clearly a child psychologist

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FriskyHenderson · 22/09/2013 13:31

Don't get a badge made. People could read it as 'pubic itch' and life would get very lonely.

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Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:32

Can I at least get a little pad to write my findings in

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SanityClause · 22/09/2013 13:34

No, I think you should say something.

Be very careful not to let it sound like a criticism of the mother, though. She might think you are telling her off for not watching closely enough, rather than just giving her information, and letting her decide what to do about it.

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Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:37

Tbh I'm don't think anything of the mum being down the other end as the swimming school often encourage that as some kids play up when the parents are watching. I just think it was an off putting and potentially upsetting thing to say to a little kid and if this girl wants to make a career out of swimming teaching she needs to learn how to handle it better

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breatheslowly · 22/09/2013 13:40

Would you want to know? I would.

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calopene · 22/09/2013 13:42

Have you nothing better to do at swimming ? Read ? Ipad ?

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Gruntfuttock · 22/09/2013 13:42

The trouble is, you never how people will react when told something like this. She might say "Thank you for telling me" or she might say "Mind your own fucking business, why are you looking at my kid anyway?" One never knows, does one?

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Thepowerof3 · 22/09/2013 13:44

Clearly not Calopene, public snitches have to be ever vigilant don't we

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hettienne · 22/09/2013 13:45

I wouldn't approach the mother just to inform her, but if you can get chatting to her generally I would say something like "the swimming teacher can be quite strict, I hope your Jane wasn't upset about being told she'd take her to the deep end last week".

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breatheslowly · 22/09/2013 13:46

I'd probably pull my DD out of the lessons if she spent them in tears and certainly if threatened like that. It can't be conducive to learning to swim.

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dubdurbs · 22/09/2013 13:47

I wouldn't have waited to speak to the child's mother, I would have eat the teacher without salt myself! If that's how she speaks to the children under their care. Then they'd want to have an attitude adjustment pretty sharpish!

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