'R U A young mum????' AIBU?

(101 Posts)
NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 08:54:59

Hello all, I'm an lurker/occasional poster, this is my first AIBU thread so I'm a little bit scared grin

I received a letter and flyer in the post yesterday inviting me to attend a 'young mums group'
In large font (comic sans shock) at the top of the flyer it reads:

R U A Young mum or young mum 2 B???
R U 19 or under???
R U looking 2 make friends???

AIBU to be extremely put off by this and to find it a little patronising? It's as if they are trying to communicate with Vicky Pollard.

I bet there's no way on earth they would use 'R U???' On a flyer for a group which wasn't specifically targeted at 'young mums'.
Also AIBU to find the term 'young mums' a little annoying too? Aren't all mums just mums? You wouldn't see a flyer advertising a group for 'old mums' would you? confused

mummymeister Sun 22-Sep-13 08:58:11

another example of 40 somethings trying to "talk the talk" with teenagers. always ends badly and just cant understand why they do it. there are clearly some issues that specifically affect teenage mums and they are trying to form a support group but this is a fairly crap way of going about it imo. assuming you aren't 19 perhaps we need some teenage mums to say what they think.

pianodoodle Sun 22-Sep-13 08:58:14

It reminds me of a parenting leaflet the HV have DH for Dads.

The front was a motorway sign with "fatherhood this way" on it and inside it said "keep this in your glove box"

DH doesn't drive I do though!

It seemed like the only literature a man could cope with was one with pictures of cars that was only 3 pages long grin

pianodoodle Sun 22-Sep-13 08:58:36

gave DH, that should have said.

ZillionChocolate Sun 22-Sep-13 08:59:08

I can see your point. I would be put off by comic sans and text speak. Completely dismissing it because of that is probably unreasonable and cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Yanbu. Not a mum but I remember all the advertising for anybody under 19 being in text speak, it still is generally and spoken advertising always seems to be a bloke with a laddish voice sounding 'tough' hmm

It is shitty stereotyping and assumes that young mums cannot possibly be literate.

Sleepyhead33 Sun 22-Sep-13 09:00:05

YANBU, incredibly patronising. Ok it might be text speak amongst some but they are not texting-it is a leaflet advertising a service.
I hope people aren't put off by the ridiculous approach as such groups can be so valuable when you have young children.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 22-Sep-13 09:01:56

YANBU... the 'R U' part especially makes it sound like they're trying to be 'down with the kids'. As if a younger mother can only understand text speak. hmm Toe-curlingly patronising. I remember being incensed after getting a flyer from DS's school for 'single mums' offering help with conflict resolution and financial matters.... appalling sterotyping! As I live in a very calm home and earn a respectably good salary I binned the offensive thing. Suggest you do the same

I have seen these leaflets. I didn't attend either grin

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 09:03:40

Mummeister I am 19. I think it's a group with invite only. It also advertises a free crèche in which you can leave your child for upto two hours shock um, no thanks!

I am tempted to reply in a polite email explaining why I have been put off attending the group.

pianodoodle I saw a flyer like that a couple of months ago at the community centre! At least it had proper spelling and grammar though grin

gordyslovesheep Sun 22-Sep-13 09:04:20

YANBU it would irk me lots BUT it's likely to have been designed by the group and not by a 40 something

as a 40 something who works with teenage parents I never ever use text speak

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 22-Sep-13 09:11:26

This will appeal to some young women though.
The txt spk, comic sans and free 2 hr crèche. You are obviously not their target audience OP so no need to feel patronised.

Y R U not goin? Cud be gr8 fun

grin

I was 19 when I had my son too.

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 09:16:27

SP think we may have spoken on here before! grin wonder if we live close to each other if you have seen them too? Perhaps we should stand outside holding signs saying 'Y U NO USE REAL SPELLING 4 US???'

Sindarella Sun 22-Sep-13 09:18:17

R U not goin op? Cud b g8 like, u cud have a glass of pop an like sit around txtin each otha, like.

JakeBullet Sun 22-Sep-13 09:18:38

YANBU OP but just to throw in the other side of things I have worked with several teenage mothers who felt HUGELY self conscious about being teenagers and parents at the same time. They felt like the whole of society was judging them so probably would have welcomed this.

I agree about the text speak though.....it never looks good from an over 30 grin. Smacks of trying too hard.

monkeymamma Sun 22-Sep-13 09:19:11

I am tempted to reply in a polite email explaining why I have been it off the group.

Ok, I can see why you dislike the font, copy, general approach and yes it is patronising and has pretty much missed the mark here.

BUT... I think you have lost sight of the fact that this is a pretty brilliant service, laid on for free, and most likely run by people who are hardworking and committed to helping others. (And I'm sorry but statistics do show that younger mums are more likely to need their help IN GENERAL, of course that doesn't apply to all younger mums but they are trying to use funding where it will make a difference.)

Those of us benefitting from government or council run children's centres, local services etc (i count myself and my son in this group... we go to lots of lovely free things locally) are bloody lucky and future generations will not get the same.

So I think yab a bit u, to be honest. I'd love it if there was a local group with free crèche for frazzled 30something mums but they haven't organised it yet! :-)

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 09:19:29

Sindarella I think I'll politely decline on this occasion grin grin grin

LEtranger Sun 22-Sep-13 09:21:50

I was a "young mum", quite a long time ago now mind you...I completely avoided things in text speak...found them very patronising and emphasised that i was in a category i should be ashamed of sad and never visited a "young mums" group, but as mrsTheroux says, I probably wasnt their target audience. That said, it took me years to accept it was ok that I'd had kids young and to embrace it rather than hope no one noticed how young I was! May be a group of others in my situation would have helped.

If it's putting it off, it may be worth contacting them and letting them know - all new mums need support, no matter what age!

McNewPants2013 Sun 22-Sep-13 09:22:06

I was 19 when I was pregnant had DS when I was 20.

I have always hated text speech, there is just no need for it.

englishteacher78 Sun 22-Sep-13 09:22:44

My students laugh at teachers who use Comic Sans a well known 'trying to be cool and down with the kids' font.

LEtranger Sun 22-Sep-13 09:22:49

putting it off putting you off

NirvanaSmellsLikeTeenMother Sun 22-Sep-13 09:22:52

monkeymamma I can see your point I suppose, perhaps I should suck it up and go? Especially as its invite only so they may lose out if a lot of others don't go too. Hmm I'll have a think smile

WithConfidence Sun 22-Sep-13 09:27:04

Young mums groups are set up because some young people who have children are less likely to take advice or access support from health care professionals. They are also more likely to be isolated and have pnd.

Obviously this is not true of every young person with a child but someone has thought that this appraoch would attract people who don't attend regular playgroups, perhaps because they think they will be judged for being young.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Sun 22-Sep-13 09:27:26

YANBU I'm actually cringeing for whatever try hard twat designed and ok'd that leaflet. I had my first at 21 so not a teenager but think I'd have still been very hmm

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