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Nose members of the public

(81 Posts)
nesticles Thu 19-Sep-13 13:43:22

DH and I are both blind and very comfortable about talking/answering questions about it. but since having our sighted ds I am getting increasingly angry about one question members of the public ask us "is he blind too?" and when we say no they often go on to ask "was that a fear?". I litterally see red lol and often find it hard not to flip my lid. I know people have questions as we do things differently like pull our buggy and have Guide dogs but really? am I being unreasonable? DH things I might just be a bit over sensative. Am I? or is it a rather rude question?

nesticles Mon 23-Sep-13 15:44:17

What a naughty monkey that little boy was. My lab has to have a gentle leader on at all times for that exact reason. Having to clean runny dog poo off carpets is a bloody nightmare...especially if you don't know if someone's given your dog something...cos then you don't know if they're really ill or just a dojy tummy from having something they're not allowed. Yep I have had the sex question more than once. I always say "if you don't know that by now...well...what can I say?" lol. I truely marval at the utter stupidity of people...just today Guide dog, DS and I were walking along side a very busy mainroad and a stupid twat (cuse the french) tried to call my dog over from across the road. My lab being a very social dog (huge problem) tried to take me to the curb to see the person. I had to tell her off but really and truly it wasn't her fault. I know people are being nice but it is so dangerous and happens all the time. grrr lol x

KarinMurphy Mon 23-Sep-13 15:11:37

What a lovely thread. smile

Just last week I walked past a lass with a stunning golden retriever guide dog, standing talking to a family who were having a picnic. Unnoticed by her and the family, the youngest child was sneakily feeding bits of his sandwich to the dog.

FanjoForTheMammaries Mon 23-Sep-13 14:54:37

Did you say "did you not get sex education at school then?" grin

BlackeyedSusan England Mon 23-Sep-13 14:50:03

oh my goodness, do some people need the light on to dtd? shock grin

people are so rude sometimes.

nesticles Mon 23-Sep-13 14:44:02

Sofia: I love the US, not because I find it very different in terms of access but I find people less scared of disability weirdly. I have experience of both a small university town and NYC and LA. I found the uni town very restrictive not being able to drive but people were lovely. I found in NYC that we still had the taxi problem as well as being refused in to a few restaurants but really didn't enjoy LA. I felt stuck not being able to drive and people were far less willing to talk to me. I found all three experiences very different and was surprised ahow cultures were so different in the one country. I didn't have a dog when I was in Missouri so maybe that made a difference? The access to books for uni were much better in the US though. I found at the beginning of each semester I had them scanned and waiting for me and didn't have to spend hours with a reader. it meant I could do my essays at 3 AM if I wanted to.

SofiaAmes Mon 23-Sep-13 04:47:43

nesticles, I'm curious (hopefully this is not a question that the english find offensive...smile )...how did you find life in the USA as a blind person as compared to what you find in the UK? I am American, so am biased, but feel that disabilities of all sorts are far more accommodated in the USA. For example, I have never seen anyone refuse service to a blind person, or someone in a wheel chair in the USA, but saw that type of discrimination all the time when I lived in the UK. I was just wondering if it's my bias (or even just that most of my time in the USA was in either LA or NYC and my time in the UK was in London and maybe none of those cities are representative of the rest of the country.

nesticles Sun 22-Sep-13 00:42:22

Unfortunately Edam Guide Dogs are refused all the time from places even though it is illegal to do so. I have waited many times in the rain (once even 37 weeks pregnant with pgp) and a taxi saw the dog (it was early Jan) and drove off. Bastard! makes me anbry!

nesticles Sun 22-Sep-13 00:39:14

Ooops should read "got it must be so hard being blind and a parent!" too much wine whilst ds is at dm's for the night. have been to see the Bodyguard a-fucking-mazing btw.

nesticles Sun 22-Sep-13 00:37:05

NeyiteFri, It is so lovely to hear that about your dad. I hope ds feels like that about us when he's older. Dh and I have never let it stop us doing anything including skiing and working/studying in the states. Jesus I would but am vegetarian so not sure what I'd do with the meat but bring on the Gin., knowing my bull-in-a-china-shop dog she would send all the bottles flying and then I would smell like a gin and tonic lol. I guess I could smell worse! Edam my dog has developed a reputation for stealing bread as she's done it at the co-op as well but unlucky for her I noticed and took it off her...if only she'd start stealing cute shoes I’d work with her. My puppy is definitely a character...we could be in any part of the country and she will always try and take me in to a William Hill. I have no idea why that particular shop is attractive. I know the girl who had that unfortunate accident, but I might sound sceptical I can't imagine how a dog would be able to push a buggy out the way if anything the dog probably got scared and somehow pushed in to it and it was a complete coincidence. My dog and I are a very close and bonded partnership but I don't think she would understand about saving a life. I just feel it makes a better story if the guide dog made a conscious choice to save the baby probably the papers sensationalising things.
I don't think ds would ever help me find a drink...knowing my son he'd probably be trying to take it for himself. I find it so interesting the people always say to us "god it must be so blind being blind and having a baby!" but the honest truth is that we've been blind all/most of our lives...so we're good at being blind, it's just the parent thing that's hard work and that is the case for every first time parent sighted or not. I was used to finding work arounds...but i was not used to fanjo stitches and no sleep lol.

Beastofburden Sat 21-Sep-13 12:54:45

I am loving the map reading, gin thieving guide dog. Definitely needs to be part of their training.

edam Sat 21-Sep-13 12:10:44

p.s. there was a story in my local paper about a bakery turning away a customer with a guide dog 'because we don't allow dogs in here'. The owner was VERY apologetic when he realised what had happened. But now I'm wondering if the shop assistant used to work at your Tescos and believes all guide dogs are bread thieves... grin

edam Sat 21-Sep-13 12:09:04

grin at your shoplifting, map-reading dog. And at Jesus (and there's a sentence I never imagined writing...)

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 21-Sep-13 10:45:47

nesticles You're missing a golden opportunity there! Train that dog to recognise gin and packs of fillet steak. Start NOW.

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 21-Sep-13 10:36:38

Just read in the paper about a guide dog who pulled away from her owner to push the baby's pram out of the way of a car. The car hit the owner but at least the baby was safe. Bit of a Sophie's choice for the dog.

mrsspagbol Sat 21-Sep-13 05:17:55

OP i am doing yet another night feed with my pfb and this thread has made me so happy! You sound so LOVELY!!

Plus your child is amazing!!!

Love the stolen bread in Tesco story!!!

nesticles Sat 21-Sep-13 01:29:29

Lol at do you have to dress him. Dear god do these people think we're deaf as well? I'd love to write a blog but being a mummy of a very lively but wonderful ds leaves me completely nackered. Oh god I have so many tales. I lived in central London a few years ago and my dog and I were doing some shopping in a Tesco local (one we used regularly) and I walked out having payed for my shopping and got half way home when someone tapped me on the shoulder and told me my dog had some bread in her mouth. I thought it might just be a piece of sandwiche...but no it was a foot long french stick that she had stolen that nowone in Tesco had the courage to tell me about. we lived at this place for another year and I was so embarrased that I always sent dh to do any shopping. She is sucha naughty little monkey but having the freedom to walk down fith avenue by myself makes it all worth it.

Neyite Fri 20-Sep-13 20:19:23

Op, my dad was blind (RP) and I'm laughing and nodding at some of the comments. My mum got "do you have to dress him" said in front of him once, and more than one person thought that he was faking it to get benefits. She got the sex question and people were always explaining things to the guide dog instead of him. I'm proud that I had such an inspirational role model for a parent - there was literally nothing he couldn't do, and always felt that disability is more a mindset issue than a physical one.

froken Fri 20-Sep-13 20:09:07

I wish I had seen your dog on a seat!

I will make sure to offer blind people with dogs seats in the future, my dp's aunt and uncle don't have dogs anymore but I can understnad that a dog needs to be kept out of the way!

I can very well believe the reaserch that says seeing children of blind parents have better communication skills early on, I have been told stories of dp's cousin guiding his fathers hand to a drink on the table when he was a very small child (they said when he was ds's age which at the time was 8 months, I don't think it really could have been that early but I could very well be wrong!)

Saffyz Fri 20-Sep-13 19:50:27

Can the dog help with my crossword clues? grin

Earthymama Fri 20-Sep-13 19:27:37

Don't let her read the Metro, it is full of right wing crap!!
I will get her a subscription to the New Statesman if she promises to give up her seat!!

PS could you write a blog? I love your writing style and keep giggling at the thought of you being drunk and laughing in the middle of London.
I am sure you have more tales to entertain and lighten us?

nesticles Fri 20-Sep-13 15:32:10

Lo ds at your "tiny savage" comment ds is exactly the same. I find the offering a seat debate quite interesting cos if someone offeres me a seat I'll always take it as I like to make sure my dog is out of the way so she doesn't get trodden on and i'm really lazy lol...but some bline people (the really grumpy ones) imo get really arsie about it for some reasonn I found that when I was pregnant people stopped offering me a seat weird. I got asked once if my dog needed a seat as well. can you imagine a 26 kg black lab sitting next to you on the DLR reading her Metro? lol

nesticles Fri 20-Sep-13 15:17:21

I don't think he's particularly clever, I think he's realised the quickest way to get more food is to give mummy back the spoon. as I type this he is repeatedly banging himself over the head with a stacking cup and laughing. Although saying that the baby lab has done a study with blind parents and sighted babies that does suggest that sighted children of blind parents are better at communicating by six months than sighted babies with sighted parents. it is only a small study for obvious reasons but interesting never the less.

FunnyRunner Fri 20-Sep-13 14:43:03

It is a lovely thread smile OP you made me properly laugh with the dog reading the map / eating the map. Still giving me the giggles.

YANBU to be annoyed but people really don't understand all the different reasons for blindness. I already tell everyone DD is doomed to be a spec wearer because both DH and I have terrible eyesight. This might be complete bollocks blush

Anyway if you don't mind me saying so your thread is a breath of fresh air - really informative and funny too. You sound awesome and your DS too. Laughing at the spoon loading thing too - DD calmly hands spoon over for me to load, then seizes it like a tiny savage.

Lweji Portugal Fri 20-Sep-13 14:40:09

I have often wondered if blind people should be offered seats in public transport or not.

Sure, most are quite capable of standing, but they may not be aware of when a seat becomes free and are more likely to stand, or for longer, than the other passengers.

southbank Fri 20-Sep-13 14:35:18

Ok,I really didn't mean that to sound off but I was thinking how I would react because I have offered seats before and been made to feel stupid and rude for doing so.
I think most people do have a genuine intention to help but feel afraid of saying the wrong thing.

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