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To think MIL should let DC bring toys home?

(44 Posts)
Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 17:16:49

Not a major issue, just something me and OH are differing in opinion on.

DD loves Little People and Peppa Pig. She hasn't got a lot of it as its a relatively new thing and we are waiting for her birthday.

Meanwhile, MIL has gone and bought loads of Little people sets and a George toy which DD doesn't have at home. She goes once a week and loves playing with these toys there. She tries to put them in her bag to bring home but MIL takes them off her and won't let her.

I understand she needs things to play with there but she has a mountain of stuff. Plus I always put a selection of toys in a bag for her which never gets touched.

It's not a massive issue but I just think its a bit mean. Plus I'm going to have to duplicate some of this stuff as birthday presents. Seems daft.

AIBU?

pizzachickenhotforyou Mon 16-Sep-13 20:07:52

If you can't take it home it's not a gift though?
I'd find it rubbish if someone bought me a gift I could only use at their house same for children.
Unless its something like a trampoline in grandmas garden when you live in a flat.
My MIL has toys which are for my lo and the cousins- but these are grandmas toys- not a gift presented then taken away at the end of the day, that's mean.

ChasedByBees Mon 16-Sep-13 20:06:41

Squinkies, that's really sad, your poor DS.

OP, YANBU and I would certainly get a George!

IDRTYABU. I had this when DS was small. He wasn't allowed to bring his Christmas presents home from the ILs. I don't think it is fair or kind.

fluffyraggies England Mon 16-Sep-13 19:06:59

Wasn't there a thread about a MIL buying and giving an expensive dolls house to her GD when she knew the OP had bought one and had it kept away for the GDs birthday?

angry

Ditto above OP. Don't tell MIL what you intend to buy DD anymore. Tricky if DD tells her herself though ...

Maybe make a point in future of saying, nicely but firmly ''MIL we are going to buy XYZ for DD's birthday this year so please don't buy one, ok?''

Buy her whatever you want for her birthday, don't let MIL put you off.
In future if she asks what you are getting for her birthday tell her something you want her to have that you won't buy and let her buy that. Keep your gifts secret unless you want her to rush out and buy them.
My MIL made a huge deal about buying Ds a workbench with tools, he was in love with it. Then at the end of the day wouldn't let him bring it home, said it was for him to play at her house. Next time we went back, she had moved it into her Daycare room where she was a childminder for a lot of kids. It was wrecked already and tools were missing, he was devastated as she said it was his, and he took very good care of his toys.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:49:49

Two bikes??? Wow neo

My mum did it last month. She knew I wanted to get DD a scooter too and she rang me and said she'd got one so DD could still use it while I was warm. I didn't mind this at all as she lets her bring them home so she can use it all the time

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 16-Sep-13 18:46:06

OP my Mum did this once...it pissed me RIGHT off and I told her. I wanted to get a partucular item for Christmas and the next day she came here with one! A big item...think bike....and then...she came back the next day with A SECOND!

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:38:25

Getting confused

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:37:50

Sorry one new set on top of the three already there

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:35:20

Sorry posted too soon...on top of the three already there

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:34:23

Yeah I've just read my OP back and it wasn't that clear. But yes, we discussed the fact I wanted to get little people a d peppa pig stuff for birthday in two weeks.

Today DD went to visit, there was a new George and three new LP sets on to

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:31:32

80s unkind to buy her a George? She has a peppa and a Suzy sheep at home. It's be unkind not to buy her the George so she can play with them together.

AnneUulmelmahay Mon 16-Sep-13 18:31:20

Oh lawks the MIL shot out and got stuff you had earmarked for DD? NORTY!

Well, her card is MARKED from now on. Don't discuss future pressie ideas with ILs, put off scent with vague refs to obscure items like Coralle dolly, lightbox with coloured paddles, £££ doll house five stories high etc. Grrr at MIL.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:30:05

80s unkind to buy her a George? She has a peppa and a Suzy sheep at home. It's be unkind not to buy her the George so she can play with them together.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 18:29:15

Is your daughter the only grandchild she has or is ever likely to have?

Just wondering if it would help to change your thinking from
she's got my daughter's toys at her house and won't give them to her to take away
to
she's bought a range of toys that all present and future grandchildren (and great grandchildren in time) can enjoy when they visit her

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:26:31

True true kali110

Even though its agreed that I ABU, I still think she could let her have one though. She now has four sets there!! We have one beaten up one at home. Bit too skint at the mo to buy more so wait

*licketysplit ducks and hides*

blush

Hissy Brazil Mon 16-Sep-13 18:25:26

Hold on, your MIL knew you wanted to buy this stuff for her birthday, and bought it herself? Before the Birthday?!

MILIBU.

Tell her not to userp you! You both need to be coordinated on the subject of gifts.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Mon 16-Sep-13 18:23:38

Oh bollocks 80s the MIL obv has loads more money than the OP and why should she keep all the nice toys exclusively at hers?? My MIL would never do this!

Hissy Brazil Mon 16-Sep-13 18:22:25

Get crates, put a mixed selection of toys in them, and have at least one in store, one out to play with and one at GM's.

Then there'll always be special/fresh toys both at home and at GM's.

80sMum Mon 16-Sep-13 18:20:12

Please don't buy your child a George if she already has one at grandma's house and enjoys playing with it there! That would be VU of you - and rather unkind, imo.

kali110 United States Mon 16-Sep-13 18:18:24

And maybe thats what the gm wants to op?you could always buy her diff things from the range

Longdistance Mon 16-Sep-13 18:17:16

My dm has loads of toys for our dd's to play with, that stay at hers. Nothing nice as Little people. However, we have accumulated millions of Little people sets, we have the house, a tree house, plane, car, Ferris wheel, farm, and loads of Little Peolpe along the way, so gonna donate some to my mums house when we get back from Oz, as we won't have the room for everything back in the Uk.

Licketysplit123 Mon 16-Sep-13 18:07:44

It's not about her not taking toys home though. There is plenty there that stays there and she loves those too. I'm happy that she is not so spoilt she can't leave things at grandmas. for me, it's more specifically the things I wanted to get her for her birthday. I wanted to get them because I knew she would love them

exoticfruits Mon 16-Sep-13 17:55:39

I haven't got grandchildren yet but I have kept the best of my DCs toys- I see them as something to play with when they see me. My aunt had a lovely drawer of old toys- it was the appeal of visiting. It was lovely that my children then played with the same toys. It is easy for DCs to know they can't take other people's belongings home.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 16-Sep-13 17:54:08

I snuck back a few days ago.

Ahh, peppa pig.

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