To ask you to rage against cancer with me?

(87 Posts)
tunnocksteacake Sun 15-Sep-13 12:35:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 15-Sep-13 22:28:09

I agree bassetfeet.
We all cope however we can. I'm sorry for what you're going through Tunnocks.

trice Sun 15-Sep-13 22:29:45

Since having cancer I do want to punch people who smoke. Is that fighting cancer?

Tunnocks, my mum had glioblastoma. She fought and fought and fought, as did we. Because just staying positive and finding joy in life when you want to curl and up in a ball and howl is fighting. Because continuing treatment when the side affects are devastating but are your only chance is fighting. Because holding it together for your newborn while caring for your beloved parent is fighting. Because what else can you do but fight?

Thinking of you and your family, if fighting is what you need to do to get through this then fight. Hoping for a good outcome for you and your husband xxx

LadyBigtoes Sun 15-Sep-13 22:37:24

The "battle" and "fight" terminology has been around a long time but the rude insults to cancer I have noticed more recently. I think it helps people and sometimes adds some humour and motivates people to do things like group sponsored runs and all that.

I think cancer is different - not in that it isn't a disease, but in the way you can treat it aggressively and attack it, and it may come back or be banished. I can see why people liken that to a battle. You go through hell to try to get rid of it and if you are lucky you see it off. Yes, the treatment may have long-term effects but many people who have survived cancer are happy to be in that position nonetheless. To have "beaten" it.

trice Sun 15-Sep-13 22:40:29

I do hope that you get a good outcome Tunnock.

penguinpaperback Sun 15-Sep-13 22:52:23

I think whatever floats your boat when it comes to cancer. I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer from the beginning, in my early 40's. At first I felt angry and 'why me' but after a while I thought 'why not me.' Cancer is everywhere, nice people get cancer, complete b*stards get cancer, the old, the young. If it helps to feel angry with cancer go for it. I want to live for as long as I can but I don't look at my cancer as a monster. But that's just me.
Love to all. x

expatinscotland Mon 16-Sep-13 01:58:16

I believe whatever gets you through, too, and never meant to cause offense.

My daughter, and I was VERY open and public from the get go with her cancer as we had the added problem of trying to source a stem cell/bone marrow donor for her to have any chance of survival, died cancer free.

She died of what we found out kills many cancer patients: secondary infection, and which is killing them now including children who have been very dear to us (Charlie Harris-Beard, my friend grew up with his mother, RIP, and others we know/knew and follow).

At the latest memorial service, for children who have died in the last 4 years in the onco unit where DD1 was treated, we heard the name of another girl, a teenager.

She developed a form of secondary cancer/leukaemia particular to those who have had radiotherapy, that caused her bone marrow to fail, requiring transplant, which she had, thankfully, from a brother.

After nearly 3 years in remission, her brain cancer recurred. Her mother had already ended her life, a couple of years before. She had resection, she had treatment, it was ineffective and she died, age 14, of brain cancer.

And this is where I have a problem with the lingo surrounding cancer, and fighter, battle, what have you. Because I knew her, and DD1, too. She was just a girl, a girl who liked rap music and who made DD1 laugh and eat, who would come by DD1's room in strict iso with a sign, 'Lunch trolley, woman! Eat up!' and stand in the door or talk through the vent or on the MN bought walkie-talkie, 'Yo, wanna see what you ate, girl!' same as another girl on the unit still waiting for a donor who was there for DD1. First time in the door, 'Hey, you! My name is A. Here you have leukaemia.' 'Yeah, I do. How about you?'

You see, you can do what you can, it's no shield. That's probably what is so scary.

But when you lose the fear, and you lose the anger, you have what is left: it's just a disease that deserves far more funding that it gets.

Brain cancer! OMG!

'It's rare.'

It is only rare until it happens to you.

And it does. All the time. All it is, is you, on a level gone awry. it is and never was, anything more than you, and I loved every bit of her, even the cancer.

What caused it? Often times, no one knows, particular in paeds. It is stochastic. It just is.

We are not so used to that now.

'Start at the beginning, go till the end, then stop.'

Whatever gets you through indeed, but those who die of cancer do not lose, in any way, they just, well, succumb.

expatinscotland Mon 16-Sep-13 02:08:06

I wish all the best to those here dealing with this.

expatbrat Mon 16-Sep-13 02:11:09

Cancer is the devil!
Have just gone through a year of hell and am on the home straight. Take courage, it doesn't always win!

Monty27 Mon 16-Sep-13 02:26:23

Focus all efforts towards the government departments responsible for this. They have the money, they don't see us as people. Make them. Lobby them. There's a lot of meds out there they won't buy.

Find out who your MPs and councillors are, make their lives a misery, every day. Every single day. Email them, start a campaign, everywhere you can.

If they'd stop spending money on themselves and their own missions and egos, it would keep our families and loved ones healthy and alive for longer.


Monty27 Mon 16-Sep-13 02:30:10

Tunnocks I'm so sorry for your experience, so sorry that it sent ime nto the rage above.

38degrees is a great place for campaigns.


SlangKing Mon 16-Sep-13 03:29:42

When I was a teen I lost 3 friends to cancer - 2 more in motorbike accidents. For a short period I fretted that I was somehow responsible and kept my distance from ppl. Later, both my parents got it. Dad got better but it killed my mum. As others have said, it's a cunt. No better word for it.

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