to hate 'Loose Plans'?

(63 Posts)
MortifiedAdams Sun 15-Sep-13 10:49:56

Evidently we are going for Sunday Lunch with the ILs today. I know where.....I dont know when. No one seems to.know when.

Raaaar!

We didnt do the inviting so feel.bad barging in and saying see you at X time.

Why cant planners make firm plans for their guests¿¡

NickNacks Sun 15-Sep-13 10:52:02

Oh this really gets on my piss.

My in laws (all of them) are so vague I dread making plans with them.

MortifiedAdams Sun 15-Sep-13 10:54:20

I have a sinking feeling it may be down to DH but he is out atm so I cant grill him. When I asked for a time, I was told "whenever"

Sorry, I cant see that time.on the clock angry

Turniptwirl Sun 15-Sep-13 11:20:45

Yanbu I hate this too! It doesn't bother me when something happens, I just need to know!

ipswichwitch Sun 15-Sep-13 11:28:19

It irritates the shit out of me, and after a particularly disastrous outing to the beach with ILs when we spent the whole afternoon waiting around for them to turn up/go shopping first/etc we have decreed that future outings will have a time attached and if people can't sort themselves out enough to show up on time, we crack on without them.
I would text them and say that since they don't seem to have a preference, we are going at x time, and you'll see them there.

MortifiedAdams Sun 15-Sep-13 11:29:41

Therell be eight of us too - how can they.not have decided / pre booked. And it includes two toddlers! Going to be a fecking nightmare.

Oh God. At their house or "out"?

If "out", I can't be doing with not having a booked table. If "in", I want to know whether the DC need feeding beforehand.

Argh. I feel your pain.

PIL are kings of "late morning" or "mid-afternoon" which means your entire day's plans get fucked about. I say "we'll be sitting down at 1pm so come any time after midday".

CremeEggThief Sun 15-Sep-13 11:38:22

YANBU. Make a plan, allow a few minutes leeway, but stick to it, people! angry

Crossposted with you. Eight people, including two toddlers, out for Sunday lunch, and they haven't booked?

:whimpers:

You'll try the first place, which will be full. Then you'll drive ten miles to another "naice" place, which will also be full. The toddlers will start whinging. You'll drive back five miles to a Harvester or Hungry Horse or something, and get a nearly-big-enough table near the toilets or right by the kitchen door. The food will be slow, and not particularly appetising after all that fucking driving, and the toddlers will have filled up on crisps/cereal bars dug out of the recesses of changing bags, so they will just play with theirs and want to run around. It will be Mortified that has to chase them, so she won't get anything to eat until it's cold.

At the end everyone except Mortified will say "Oh wasn't that lovely, we must do it again soon".

HumphreyCobbler Sun 15-Sep-13 11:44:56

grin Horry. That is very true

MortifiedAdams Sun 15-Sep-13 11:52:02

True! We have cut all the shite out and text to say we are putting dd down for a.nap.and will be free from two.

And said to.meet at the nearest Hungry Horse.

Ill save the naice places (which incidentally we have taken them to.in the past and booked a table and they disliked).) for when its just dh dd and I.

I have a voucher for comp three course sunday lunch for the three of us at a local posh hotel so will book that for next week!

needaholidaynow Sun 15-Sep-13 12:10:21

My ILs are like this. Does my bloody head in!

I find them completely and utterly RUDE. Especially my mother monster in law.

VenusDeWillendorf Sun 15-Sep-13 12:13:21

Loose plans are better than loose bowels.

<gavel>

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 15-Sep-13 12:14:01

Oh, drives me crazy this. If you know that you want to take a hundred people out for lunch, why not book a table?

In-laws never get to eat at the time they want in the place they want, because it's full, or they arrive when they have stopped serving food etc.

And if you are taking toddlers out for a meal it's not generally OK to delay lunch until 2.30 because by then they will have gone "beyond it".

They are the experts at "loose plans" and I hate it. When they come and visit us I never know a) how many people are coming b) when they are arriving or c) (most important) - are they expecting me to feed them or not.

I don't mind feeding them at all, but I do surprisingly need to go and buy the extra food if four more adults are pitching up at mealtimes.

TheUglyFuckling Sun 15-Sep-13 12:18:40

Horry, so true so very true <cries a bit at the memories>

I am burdened with a Dh who simply doesn't acknowledge the need to book anything or arrange anything and likes to think that the day 'evolves in a natural spontaneously exciting way.'

No it actually fucking doesn't. it evolves in slow grind of teeth and a helpless Sunday drive between various eating outlets only to find yourself in a scruffy Harvester at 4pm where all the roasties have dried up, and a wife who glares at you through out the meal.

But when I book somewhere 'naice' 2 weeks in advance Dh looks all perturbed and announces 'but we don't know what we're doing in two weeks time, yet'

Yes, actually we fucking do we're going to be sitting down to a decent meal in nice surroundings. Arse.

Spaghettio Sun 15-Sep-13 12:20:56

My FiL and SMiL are the best at this. "We'll meet you for lunch - early afternoon". This means 3 pm at the earliest - and they want a leisurely 3-4 course meal in a nice pub. That is lunch time for them as they don't get up until at least 11am.

We have three boys who are up at 7am at the latest. They need regular feeding and exercise otherwise they turn into moaning, whining monsters. Sitting at a table three hours after they've had lunch will not work for more than half an hour unless they have something to do.

PIL are the type of people that don't like children to play on games at the table, and will only just tolerate colouring in. They also want to discuss friends marriages and work stuff which is NOT entertaining for two 5 yo and an 8 yo.

Lunch with them is a nightmare.

My grandpa on the other hand says he'll meet us in <specific pub> at 12.30, and when we get there at 12.29 he is already sitting at a suitably sized table with the right number of menus and children's menus and crayons, and we are eating by 1pm.

::sigh::

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 15-Sep-13 13:06:37

I'll go out with Horry's grandpa any day.

I think some of these relatives have forgotten that when you are dealing with small children ultimately your life will be easier if you feed them and entertain them, rather than let them turn into hungry, bored whingebags.

MortifiedAdams Sun 15-Sep-13 13:06:38

Horry can he invite me next time please?

I know! If he didn't live 400 miles away we'd gladly see him every weekend.

My PIL are horrendous for forgetting how inflexible some children can be. In the same conversation MIL can tell me how DH and SIL had to have their tea at 5.30 every night without fail ... and then plan to have lunch at 2pm when we're on holiday with them and a toddler who generally has a sleep after he's eaten at 12pm. In the same conversation. [facepalm]

teacher123 Sun 15-Sep-13 13:28:18

Loose plans very bad with toddlers. Late lunches very bad with toddlers. In fact DS will sit beautifully for exactly one hour between 12pm-1pm eating his lunch in his high chair in a restaurant or cafe. Anytime after that and it goes into NAPTIME and you have a manic overtired mess to deal with. I have pointed out to both sets of grandparents that if we're having lunch at their house it makes the most sense to feed DS at 12 and then the grown ups eat at 1 when he goes for a nap, then we all get to eat our meals nicely without being too stressed. It is gradually sinking in!

MortifiedAdams Sun 15-Sep-13 22:11:00

Well....it was dire.

Manic busy, long wait for table, even longer wait for cutlery (had our.food.in front of us), and lo....guess who.ended up playing with the kids.

SomethingOnce Sun 15-Sep-13 22:15:58

At least they're consistent. SIL loves to organise other people but curiously she and BIL are frequently late.

Oh dear. At the risk of saying "I told you so"...

Top tip: never sit next to your own children at family meals.

MortifiedAdams Mon 16-Sep-13 07:46:54

I know Horry.

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