Made a tit of myself at school, please tell me your stories make me feel better.

(19 Posts)
shockers Sat 14-Sep-13 08:54:20

DS1 told his NQT in yr 3 that I was a wing walker for the Red Arrows. The dozy bloke asked me to come and talk to the class about it!

DS2 wrote in his news in yr 5 that the best thing he had done in the holidays was '"Go to a cemetary with Mum".
We had been climbing in a quarry, but he'd forgotten what it was called.

He also told that same teacher (who I now work with) about me falling off a doorstep, flat on my drunken face, after too much wine.

PollyPlummer Sat 14-Sep-13 08:53:18

Not school - nursery.
I picked dts up in their second day, staff were really lovely and dts seemed to enjoy themselves.
As we left a member of staff walked out with us, she she said goodbye and I said bye, I love you. blush
I kind of laughed hysterically and said oh sorry, I just told you I love you. blush
She laughed and said its fine I do it all the time - bet she doesn't.

hesterton Sat 14-Sep-13 08:40:47

My son wrote 'mummy and daddy had wine in the bath' accompanied by a picture of us smiling at either end of the bath holding glasses of wine for his news book.

And almost every Monday he wrote that we had a Chinese takeaway that weekend which was simply not true - we had one once every three months or so. Little beast never wrote about our educational trips to museums, libraries and theatre or the wonderful books we read to him. Oh no. Just the wine, the bath and the takeaways.

I became aware that a father of a child I taught thought I had a crush on him. I was in my first year of teaching and not yet married (although I was soon after).

I could never tell him that the only reason I looked into his eyes a lot was because his 5 yo DS mentioned that Daddy always scratched his balls after he had a wee. I knew that if I didn't keep eye contact I'd have to drop my eyes towards the balls that had been, quite eloquently, described by the DS.

I also didn't use that conversation as evidence to justify my levelling of the child's speaking and listening- in case you wondered!

meddie Sat 14-Sep-13 08:14:46

DS admiring friends new baby brother, nearby teacher asks DS would he like a bay brother one day. to which DS pipes up in a very loud voice
" that wont happen, my mummy's been neutered"

A phrase I jokingly used to friend after I was sterilised.

Binkybix Sat 14-Sep-13 08:10:29

It's not a school one but yesterday I walked about outside in central london for about two hours with my feeding top pulled back to reveal my bra, including buying coffee at a local cafe. At least I remembered to re-clip the bra I suppose!

Fiona24 Sat 14-Sep-13 07:58:13

OP - absolutely not - if you try to forget (I know that's not easy) about this, chances are it will recede in said teacher's memory - he has loads of other things to concern him.

And you won't be the first parent, or the last, to say something that you wish you hadn't. In my experience, it's always far worse, more embarrassing for the person who said whatever it was than for the person who heard the comment. And, with luck, your comment wouldn't have been picked up by anyone else.

If it had, trust me, they'll find something else to amuse them next week.

Don't keep away from school - it's your DC's school and this matters more than any finer feelings on the part of said teacher -

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Sat 14-Sep-13 07:49:00

Umm, I sat through my sons assembly last year with the zip undone on my dress. It was a side zip, open from under my armpit right down to my thigh, pants and bra fully exposed.
No one said a thing blush
Oh the humiliation

Lampshadeofdoom Sat 14-Sep-13 07:13:05

grin reallymother

ReallyMother Sat 14-Sep-13 00:00:26

Have also had to explain that the 'naked front bottom' I made my child sit next to on the way to school was not real. Plus explain that I had turned the option of male genitalia for the model and son was quite upset about it confused

My son also wrote that he could cook BBQs unsupervised in paperwork about his statement. He helps under close supervision and mostly goes the fridge run...

He told the vicar that 'mum was too drunk to drive home and we got home late'... My only night out in a year.

Oh and I caught wind that the staff in sons previous school thought I was lesbian... This was confirmed when I mentioned that my sons (unusual) instant liking of the student teacher was clear now I had met her (very, very stunningly pretty young lady) and the member of staff I was talking to wink and said 'Wonder who he gets that off'
Readers - the pull to say 'Nah I prefer blonds' was very strong but I resisted... I concluded it was the pixie cut I was sporting and my singleness that did it grin

I am such a disaster area in school that I found myself begging the SENCO not to share my latest home-school entry with the staff room confused

ReallyMother Fri 13-Sep-13 23:45:06

I feel your pain...

I have so NC for this..

Old head was a bit dishy tho I found him a bit intimidating. Anyway - one particular day all the staff dressed up in costume - he was in a super hero outfit...
OP I went past him, he said 'Good Morning' and I said (whilst looking him up & down) 'Something you pulled out of the wardrobe this morning?'
And then I added a wink

The bloody shame of it...

Anyway dishy head announced he was moving to another school where a friend has a child... I of course recount the Super Hero story but little did I know her little darling was listening...

... Oh yes ...

'Sir. You have a super hero outfit don't you?'
'Why yes I do... How do you know?'
'Well! Xxx Mummy told my mummy that you have the Super Hero outfit and wore it school'

Neither of us have dared enquire if she added my other comment which was 'It was so tight you could read the washing instruction'

I hope to never ever meet the man again.

elcranko Fri 13-Sep-13 23:23:27

Oh no! blush

SybilRamkin Fri 13-Sep-13 17:29:10

grin grin

The horror!

Lampshadeofdoom Fri 13-Sep-13 17:27:15

Lots of witnesses, busy playground at hometime, his wife works in school blush he didn't even answer, I am expecting to be banned from school for being a bunny boiler or something.

YouTheCat Fri 13-Sep-13 17:22:09

grin

LOL thats funny, I bet he thought so too.
I'm always putting my foot in my mouth so know exactly how you feel.

lunar1 Fri 13-Sep-13 17:19:37

Sorry< that really made me laugh. how many witnesses were there?

sonofapreacherman Fri 13-Sep-13 17:19:23

grin

Sorry

grin

Lampshadeofdoom Fri 13-Sep-13 17:17:33

DDS new male teacher supports sports team A, dd does too.

I support opposition team.

Dd had told me Mr X had joked it was ok if she got x wrong as he only whips fans of opposition team, dd has sen and he's trying to ease pressure on her.

So chatting to him tonight about something else and he mentioned dds spellings. Then her football team pe kit which is his team to which dd announced my mum likes x team.

I piped up I better get MY spellings right I wouldn't want you to whip me shock blush

It was not how I meant it at all argh. dd had said to me when I spelt something wrong that MR X would whip me cause I was supported other team.

I can never go to school again.

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