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AIBU?

To just go out and not be in

151 replies

LadyFlumpalot · 12/09/2013 10:23

I'm due to have my second baby next Tuesday. I have cracking SPD and haven't had more than 4 hours sleep a night for the last 2 weeks.
My GPIL have invited themselves (via a message left on our answering machine yesterday) to come and stay with us this weekend. Not with any altruistic intentions of helping out. No, it's because they will be driving home from holiday tomorrow and want to use our house as an overnight hotel rest stop.

It wouldn't be too bad except that they are very high maintenance and will expect a full bed and breakfast experience plus a naice trip to somewhere suitable on Saturday followed by a full lunch out and about in a naice tea room sort of place.

I really wanted DH, DS and I to just have a lovely family weekend as it's possibly the last one we will have with just DS.

The mobile number we have for them isn't working. Just beeps and cuts out. Have even double checked it with PIL. DH has sent the number a text saying to call him urgently.

WIBU to just go out to my mums for the whole of tomorrow so I am not at home when they try to just show up at some point in the afternoon? I'm a soft touch and will end up just letting them in if I'm here. They will be coming past about 1pm and DH won't get home from work til 6pm.

OP posts:

Report

MisselthwaiteManor · 12/09/2013 10:26

I would, if they haven't had actual confirmation from you or DH that they can stay then it's their problem, let them find a hotel.

DeepPurple · 12/09/2013 10:26

If they don't know you have received the message then just go out. Pretend like you didn't know they were coming

Tee2072 · 12/09/2013 10:27

I would. Just don't be there.

Or be there, let them in and tell them you're going for a rest, dinner at 6 would be lovely.

But I'm evil to people who abuse my hospitality, even if I am related to them.

BlackeyedSusan · 12/09/2013 10:31

go out.

i m in a pissed off mood though so not the best person to tke advice from today.

CookieLady · 12/09/2013 10:33

Go out.

MisselthwaiteManor · 12/09/2013 10:34

Will DH let them in if they try again after 6?

WhatchaMaCalllit · 12/09/2013 10:35

Goodness no, not unreasonable in the slightest.

What you could do is stick an envelope to your front door saying "for the attention of PIL" and inside the envelope have a note saying how awfully sorry you are to have missed them but at the short notice you realised that neither of you would be in. You did try desperately to contact them on the number they left on the answering machine but to no avail and you've listed the numbers of some lovely local hotels/B&B and that you would recommend instead.

Best of luck to you

LadyFlumpalot · 12/09/2013 10:36

They are not even driving that far! Devon to Berkshire. We live off the A303 in Wiltshire so are annoyingly ideally placed for a pop in.

Tee - I quite like that idea! "Hi GPIL. Thanks so much for doing this. Here's DS, he has his dinner at 5, DH and I would like dinner at 6, see you later!"

Problem about pretending we didn't receive it is that DH sent that text. We don't know if it's the wrong number, turned off or out of signal. I tried 1471ing but it wasn't the last number to have tried us.

OP posts:

LadyFlumpalot · 12/09/2013 10:38

Marmalade - no, he's more hacked off about it than me!

Ideally they try to call again today so I can tell them no, otherwise, knowing them, they will go book in somewhere and still show up at the crack of a sparrows fart on Saturday with a "surprise! Now entertain us all day" attitude.

OP posts:

LilRedWG · 12/09/2013 10:40

Well, DH has tried to get them to call him urgently so that he can let them know that no-one will be in . Not your fault that they've not got back to you.

mirry2 · 12/09/2013 10:42

gone into labour sooner than expected ? False alarm?

PrimalLass · 12/09/2013 10:43

Yes do. Get your DH to text again and say it's not suitable because you won't be there (make up some reason).

yoshipoppet · 12/09/2013 10:51

If they are in Devon they will probably have no signal on their phone. I live in Devon; if I want to use a mobile I have to go half a mile down the road and stand in the middle of a field.

OP I'd go out if I were you. Or hide and pretend to be out.

SPBisResisting · 12/09/2013 10:52

(Lurking)

MrsWembley · 12/09/2013 10:53

Go out, don't come back til you absolutely have to and, if you do manage to speak to them, explain that you are exhausted and having someone pamper you for a couple of days (your DM?) before the sky falls in.

Tell them it was arranged before you heard their message.

If they give you any

or

, smile and nod and repeat the word 'exhausted' ad nauseam.

Glad to hear DH is on your side and good luck, with GPiLs and the impending birth.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 12/09/2013 10:58

Another one who says go out.

How rude just to expect you to put them up! You've tried to call and tell them it's not a good time, so they will have to lump it.

Go out, come back after DH, and if they do happen to turn up at any point, explain to them again that it is not a good time, and then just get on with your day.

I personally don't mind when people just pop round, but if you do that, you do it fully in the knowledge that it might not be a good time, and you can't expect people to change all their plans for you.

I do have a sneaky suspicion this will be large thread!

PurplePidjin · 12/09/2013 10:58

Yanbu, uninvited guests are a pita at the best of times, and 37+ weeks pg is definitely not the best of times!

MintyChops · 12/09/2013 11:05

Another in the "go out" camp but I would try calling/ texting again to say sorry but this weekend doesn't suit us, we will be out then I need to rest as exhausted with imminent arrival. Perhaps they have got their dates a bit confused and don't realise how close you are to the birth?

LadyFlumpalot · 12/09/2013 11:13

Oooh crikey, loads of comments!

I was debating having a bit of a jump on the toddler's trampoline this afternoon, that would be a proper legitimate excuse!

Well I'm glad the consensus is that I'm not being unreasonable!

OP posts:

ZingWantsCake · 12/09/2013 11:15

Go the fuck out!
Do not cater for their selfish, inconsiderate needs!

in fact pm me your address and I'll go there and when they turn up I'll give them a lecture.

How's that?

Mouthfulofquiz · 12/09/2013 11:19

Definitely go out! All day and leave your phone off!

LadyFlumpalot · 12/09/2013 11:20

Right, I have to go get dressed and throw things in the dishwasher do good housewife type stuff for a bit. I promise I'll update as and when I hear anything!

OP posts:

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Bowlersarm · 12/09/2013 11:21

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Why should you waste your Saturday waiting in for them, then waste your weekend entertaining them especially at your stage of pregnancy?

It doesn't sound as though they have to make too much of a detour to get to you, so you don't need to feel guilty about that.

And it's very presumptuous to assume it's ok with you, without waiting for confirmation back from you.

It would be slightly different if they were popping in for a cup of tea but even then the should still wait to hear from you that they are welcome.

EldritchCleavage · 12/09/2013 11:23

Leg it, Flumps!
And if they do worm their way in, take to your bed and only stir to call for tea in a shaky voice.

BuntyPenfold · 12/09/2013 11:24

yoshipoppet, I live in Devon and I quite often have a mobile signal but my neighbour doesn't; she has to go out into the middle of the hump-backed bridge opposite the house. Something to do with granite apparently.

OP can't you have a false alarm? As it's so close anyway?

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