to be upset at boring birthday presents

(99 Posts)
waybuloony Wed 11-Sep-13 13:40:53

Ok, it's not my birthday for a few days but I've just seen a despatch order in my dh's email inbox (I have access to this with his permission) for some Ladies welly boot socks and a black umbrella which I'm guessing are meant for my birthday and I'm more than a little bit mortified. Arent these the sort of pressies you give an old aunt for xmas and not your dearly beloved?

We've been together 11 years, have had a few up's and down's lately and are feeling the pinch a bit right now but I feel really upset. AIBU?

Should I say anything?

ithaka Thu 12-Sep-13 19:57:35

My DH has just bought we waterproof trousers for my birthday - I am delighted!

In my/his defence, we do hillwalk together & he did really well to find teeny waterproof trews, as I am titchy. Plus, yeah, I am a saddo..

Oblomov Thu 12-Sep-13 19:58:02

We don't buy presents. Most of the time, I can't even think of anything that I want or need.

motherinferior Thu 12-Sep-13 19:58:50

For my first birthday after taking up with DP I got zip, zilch, nada...

And then, then, I got an unplanned positive pregnancy test.

He did take me out for dinner smilesmile

PS DS1 is now 12

DaleyBump Thu 12-Sep-13 20:32:44

DP got me a tube of smarties and a card with a hole in it (he got it caught in the boot) one year. It's now tradition for him to put a hole in all the cards he gets me grin although on Valentines day he got me nothing and forgot to write the holey card. We just don't do gifts very well grin

nostalgiaaaah Thu 12-Sep-13 21:04:42

My husband took holiday to go on a trip of a lifetime to Australia to follow this year's Lions Tour. Everyone was telling him how lucky he was I 'let' him go etc, in fact I was very happy that he had this opportunity.
He did ask me what I would like him to bring back, ideally I wanted a watercolour print I could frame but, realising this was probably too much to expect, I said some Australian keyrings and Starbucks City mugs, what could be simpler,........I got.....some bars of soap and a fridge magnet (even worse we have a wooden door over our fridge.)
At least it gives us a laugh when I tell our friends, I have a feeling he will try a bit harder next time.

bikercrazee Thu 12-Sep-13 21:49:36

I got a bottle with a lump of charcoal in it ! a tree sounds positively thoughtful!

Marissam21 Thu 12-Sep-13 23:15:21

Maybe he thinks that u would see this delivery note and tried to throw you off the scent of what he really got you? Or maybe he's taking you away for a break try not to be too deflated as atleast the thought counts and he remembered your birthday xx

Underconstruction Thu 12-Sep-13 23:31:59

Water filters!

Noideaatall Fri 13-Sep-13 00:11:30

My nan got me a five pack of pants one year. With only three pairs in it.

ToysRLuv Fri 13-Sep-13 00:20:04

My nan gave me 1 pair of slightly risque satin pants when I turned 14. They were also about two sizes too small confused

Dp either gets a list to choose from or I stupidly say 'anything! Honestly lovey, I don't mind' .. the times he has no list I get card, flowers, chocolate. Woooooooow. They are always lovely and obes I'd buy myself but just so unimaginative.

I hate lazy gifts it's as though the person you're buying for isn't worth listening to/really knowing to know what they like/want.

tiggerpigger Fri 13-Sep-13 00:45:07

Unbelievable. So materialistic. At least he hasn't forgotten your birthday. Poor bloke.

TheYamiOfYawn Fri 13-Sep-13 10:00:58

I spent years buying tasteful, thoughtful gifts for DP. A new book by his favourite author, a bottle of really good whiskey, a nice leather wallet, that kind of thing. His presents to me were along the lines of a shower curtain and a spatula. A couple of years ago, it came out in conversation that he hated the gifts from me as much as I hated the gifts from him. My present buying philosophy was always to give the recipient something they would love but would feel a bit guilty spending their own money on. His philosophy was that a perfect present is something that gets frequent practical use, so that every time you use it, you are reminded if the giver and the special occasion on which it was given.

Last Christmas we managed to get it right - I gave a set of merino thermals and a jar of gold-flecked marmite and he gave me the buckwheat pillow I'd been considering buying for ages.

waybuloony Fri 13-Sep-13 10:15:26

Well, today's the day and sure enough....some welly boot socks and an umbrella....along with some really lovely pyjamas, phew!

My two little boys sang me 'happy birthday dear mummy' at breakfast and that alone made me one v special birthday girl!

Pammie70 Fri 13-Sep-13 10:34:46

One year got a pot plant and a very posh cookery book that I have never used as I would have needed a second mortgage for the ingredients.
But the best was the Christmas he bought me a toilet brush holder and toilet roll holder, we had just had a new bathroom and he bought them to match the shower curtain!!!! After that I started taking him shopping.

daisychicken Fri 13-Sep-13 10:45:42

Happy Birthday Waybuloony! Tis my birthday today as well grin

Glad you got some lovely pj's! Have you asked 'why?' re the welly socks and umbrella?! I do wonder what goes on in some people's heads when it comes to gifts..... my DH can be v v good but equally I've had some hmm gifts as well!

papaver Fri 13-Sep-13 11:21:00

This year I wasn't really expecting much as we had just come back from holiday, advance planning isn't really his style and I generally find when it comes to presents low expectations are a good starting point! DH turned up with an (unwrapped) battery operated gadget for removing dry skin from feet. This wasn't a problem I felt I needed to resolve - particularly with an electric gadget - it has been returned! This is one in a long line of odd/thoughtless presents. I have tried really big hints and lists and still this hasn't worked. Now I just buy myself something but I do sometimes get a bit http://cdnmn.com/emo/te/6.gif We have been together over 20 years and he still buys cheap milk chocolates when I have said numerous times I don't like them - but then as he generally eats most of them.......!

Pawprint Fri 13-Sep-13 11:41:42

I asked for a new bag and got a horrid plastic clutch bag. I could have cried!

wink1970 Fri 13-Sep-13 12:36:21

I got pans for my birthday next week, early, so I can cook Sunday lunch for the in-laws ..... tbf, I had asked for pans normally he ignores my requests and buys me jewellery. That will teach me to be so sincere in my requests

I bought him professional tooth whitening at the dentist.

Ah, romance is not dead smile

I dread birthdays and Christmas as I rarely know what to buy the man I'm dating at the time (I don't buy for anyone else these days), and usually have no idea what I'd like in return. But when I know what to get a BF I love giving presents. One BF got a falconry experience, another a Lumiere alarm clock. I prefer receiving practical gifts and the Tempur pillow I received one year is still much loved (even though I can't stand the guy any more!) I'm not a fan of flowers, chocolates and wine though as they don't last, are pretty generic and are quickly forgotten. TBH I'd prefer to just boycott the whole present-buying malarkey as I get so stressed about it. My default setting is "he'll think it's crap" sad

Phalenopsis Fri 13-Sep-13 17:15:45

Happy birthday to all virgos.

My OH bought be a corkscrew for my birthday once. hmm and at Christmas he bought me some tights that had a pattern on them that looked like I'd shat and pissed myself.

Oh and the packet of peanuts - well, that blew my socks clean off as you can imagine. confused

Now I tell him what I want explicitly.

AaDB Fri 13-Sep-13 17:54:29

happy birthday to Wayballoonywine thanks Daisychick wine thanks

invicta Fri 13-Sep-13 18:21:41

Happy birthday

AnneOfGreenGarbles Fri 13-Sep-13 22:14:44

I once found dh's xmas list and he'd put pizza cutter next to my name. I may have shed a tear at the time. Ok, so I like pizza but I absolutely do not want a pizza cutter as a gift. Luckily he must have thought better of it as, to this day, have never received said pizza cutter. Phew :-)

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