To report my husband to social services warning distressing content

(195 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Arnie123 Tue 10-Sep-13 10:50:19

My son is 2 and at weekend I noticed a V shape red mark on the front of his neck. The shape of the v was a perfect match for his sweatshirt and I could see instantly what had happened is my son had been picked up by the back of the sweatshirt and lifted in the air. The mark was still present but less so on Sunday and by Monday had gone. He admitted the incident and there were no mitigating circumstances eg he was running into the road and he grabbed him for safety reasons. As he is blind I surreptitiously recorded the conversation for evidence. He has told me he is sorry and it is an isolated incident. Over the weekend I was in a state of shock so did not report him but monitored his contact with my son. Now it has sunk in I feel I need to get the locks changed today and call the ss it will mean the end of our marriage but I regard what has happened as very serious and need to put my son first. Please no sarky or nasty comments I am incredibly distressed right now and need support not criticism

JulieMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 12-Sep-13 13:46:03

Afternoon,

Thank you for the reports about this thread.

It's not against the talk guidelines to search for a poster's previous threads, that's why the advanced search facility is available.

Bringing up previous posts really does depend on their context. It's not OK to carry grudges from one thread to another, or to use previous posts to be deliberately inflammatory or as part of a PA.

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly Tue 10-Sep-13 21:42:14

Some people you really don't need to search for, if they complain enough about the same things, and post repeatedly in a rather bizarre manner, they tend to stick.
And since there is an option in search anyway for posts by one person, the point seems moot.

BoozyBear Tue 10-Sep-13 20:35:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 10-Sep-13 20:15:50

I always thought it was considered to be bad form but if that's wrong then of course I stand corrected.

RhondaJean Tue 10-Sep-13 20:06:15

This is by far the most confusing thread I have seen on here.

I Have no idea what to make of it.

As an aside thought, I realise op has gone, but I wonder if she has checked it wasn't a reaction to something in the jumper. As a child I would often break out at itchy bits like where the collar was sewn onto a jumper. And it would be worse at the front because I would scratch the front but I couldn't reach the back easily.

Unexpected Tue 10-Sep-13 20:04:43

There is nothing in talk guidelines which says you can't search a poster's previous threads. Sometimes people remember user names or specific information about people and you can't "un-know" information about someone. People on here have searched the user's past threads but only on the back of other people "recognising" and remembering her already.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Tue 10-Sep-13 20:03:21

What a weird thread.

Based on the info OP you can be sure that SS will be just as interested in you as your DH.

I worked with a blind computer programmer - his guide dog would sit under his desk while he worked. He was a very talented young man and his work was not impacted in anyway by his blindness - the company provided the adaptations and software he needed.

Elsiequadrille Tue 10-Sep-13 20:02:48

I can't find it in the guidelines, unless it's in relation to troll hunting somehow. Perhaps it also depends on the motive for searching past posts.

Bowlersarm Tue 10-Sep-13 20:00:50

Actually, I didn't realise talk guidelines were not to look at previous threads. But I don't understand why. It will be relevant to subsequent threads.

MammaTJ Tue 10-Sep-13 20:00:37

If it's against guidelines, why do they give us the option to do a search then? Genuine question, not me being gobby!

MissStrawberry Tue 10-Sep-13 19:58:08

Are you a regular poster as you can't just post to say "moderators delete the thread" and it will happen!

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 10-Sep-13 19:57:32

Pretty sure its considered bad form to take info from one thread to another or continue grudges ect I've seen deletions for it.

Elsiequadrille Tue 10-Sep-13 19:49:35

Is that really in the talk guidelines. I had no idea.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 10-Sep-13 19:47:22

I haven't gone searching out her past threads given that its against talk guidelines.

Confined just to the info she has given in this thread they are not concerns that would be treated very seriously if she were to end up in court the only one that would is the mark on the child's neck.

Plenty of parents loathe the other parent it does not mean that that parent should prevent the other having a parental relationship with the child, more often than not people have concerns but nothing tangible or nothing that many other people would take seriously sometimes those concerns disappear sometimes they turn into actual tangible abuse situations that require action.

Family courts are full of one parent claiming abuse and the other saying nope didn't happen.

If I had serious real concerns about a violent incident and knew I could tape the person talking about it,I would be they blind or not.

Disabled people are just like none disabled people both can be equally abusive or not abusive at all.

OnTheBottomWithAWomensWeekly Tue 10-Sep-13 19:28:00

Minor concerns in the past? She loathes the man and thinks he can't take of his child. But she leaves him with him for very long hours anyway. And then takes advantage of his disability in order to accuse of something she thinks he has done.
I don't think OP is telling the truth, in fact I hope so, because if so, that household is one major fuck up.

What an odd thread hmm

festered Tue 10-Sep-13 18:47:12

My Dad dislocated my elbow once by grabbing me when I was near a road!

Has he said why he did it?

Has he ever done this before?

StillSeekingSpike Tue 10-Sep-13 18:44:35

It's not 'picking on the poster'- but if you go to social services and say 'I am regularly leaving my 2 year old child with my husband, who I do not think is competent to look after him, several times I have come home and found the child in soaking nappies and not fed properly. Oh and last week he marked the child accidentally'- do you not think a social worker is going to wonder WHY you are then leaving your child unsupervised with this man? And wonder WHY you are taping his alleged 'admission' instead of just getting out of there with your child?

upsidedownbacktofronttopsyturv Tue 10-Sep-13 18:36:21

I meant have little vision but I am under the criteria for blind.

upsidedownbacktofronttopsyturv Tue 10-Sep-13 18:35:46

Dorange

I'm classed as blind and have some vision. Being blind does not mean darkness. there are also software to use to help.

I also have 2DD'S one 5 and 7months and I can look after them both fine. I had full vision until 3years ago when I started to lose it.

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 18:32:29

The evasive behaviour of the OP in response to perfectly reasonable questions makes me smell a rat.

honey86 Tue 10-Sep-13 18:31:40

not saying she doesnt have no problems, she has homestart help n disability sw support but shes very independent for a disabled person. youd be surprised how determined some can be smile

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 10-Sep-13 18:26:14

Would you not be devious and calculating if it were the only way you could prove your child needed protecting?

mignonette Tue 10-Sep-13 18:24:37

Devious and calculating.

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