To be upset for DS

(61 Posts)
impatienttobemummy Tue 10-Sep-13 08:43:52

DS is 23 months. Picked him up from nursery to be told he'd had an off day. From one look I could clearly see he wasn't well start of a cold. One of the nursery staff said he hadn't been himself all day not really laughing or wanting to join in.
Then she told me that at lunch and dinner time he refused to say thank you and instead cried his eyes out when they asked him to. So a colleague of the nursery nurse I was speaking to refused to let DS have dessert by taking it away from him replacing it with fruit which he didn't eat as was upset.
AIBU to think he's 1 a bit young for this dicipline and I'd have made allowances considering he was feeling poorly.
We have had some issues with tantrums at home which I've told nursery about. The colleague apparently said tell mum we have seen 'the real DS today'?!
I'm worried about him being there now!
Btw I'm pregnant so bit hormonal so am looking for rational advice! Thanks

hettienne Wed 11-Sep-13 20:17:17

Awful behaviour from the staff. Good manners should be modelled and encouraged, not enforced by punishment.

I don't think punishments have a place in nursery, especially for under 3s. Totally unnecessary and counterproductive.

hardboiledpossum Wed 11-Sep-13 20:11:54

Withholding any food, including pudding, is against ousted guidelines. I would be furious even if your ds wasn't ill. At this age you model good language, you don't punish.

MrsDibble Wed 11-Sep-13 19:53:30

YANBU. At all. They really shouldn't be behaving like that towards such a young child.

LegoDragon Wed 11-Sep-13 19:41:17

Nice to see a happy update- hope the staff member is dealt with well and your DS has a fun time at nursery in the future!

neunundneunzigluftballons Wed 11-Sep-13 18:19:09

Oops I missed to update glad to hear that.

neunundneunzigluftballons Wed 11-Sep-13 18:18:20

'The real DS' would really bother me. In fact the whole situation would YANBU.

Lilacroses Wed 11-Sep-13 16:51:13

Sorry, just read your update....good for you! So glad it's being sorted and the manager reacted appropriately.

Lilacroses Wed 11-Sep-13 16:49:58

Sorry to hear this OP, yanbu at all. I would've been very upset to hear that if it had been my Dd. 23 months!!!! He is a little toddler! Definitely say something to them.

pigletmania Wed 11-Sep-13 16:37:57

That's fantastic impatient smile

PrincessFlirtyPants Wed 11-Sep-13 14:01:15

Good news, hope your DS is feeling better smile

valiumredhead Wed 11-Sep-13 13:52:53

Good!

Nancy66 Wed 11-Sep-13 13:52:14

The staff sound horrible. I'd be very worried frankly.

Panzee Wed 11-Sep-13 13:51:47

Great news. Hope your son is feeling better today.

impatienttobemummy Wed 11-Sep-13 13:49:01

Spoke with the owner today she was very apologetic and frankly horrified. Thanks for all of your advice. She is dealing with the staff member and having a team meeting to raise these issues to ensure this never happens again. Feeling better!

thebody Tue 10-Sep-13 14:14:41

when I was a cm I wouldn't have dreamed of talking about a mindee like this. I would know if a mindee was poorly and I never used food as any type of punishment.

no no no. really unprofessional I think.

Pixieonthemoor Tue 10-Sep-13 13:52:31

Good on you for making an appointment and good luck with getting your points across. Writing the points down is a good idea of yours. I think it sounds awful - removing pudding for a punishment of fruit sends totally the wrong message. And as for the nastily facetious remark about seeing "the real" ds.......he was an under-the-weather 2yr old fgs.

tunnocksteacake Tue 10-Sep-13 13:05:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

impatienttobemummy Tue 10-Sep-13 13:02:28

Thank you for your replies I am going to write some of your points down so I don't get lost in the heat of the moment, I'm going to call and make an appointment to
Meet the manager as I don't want to be interrupted. Being pregnant I feel like I don't trust my own judgement at the moment so it helps to know I'm not BU.
thanks again

valiumredhead Tue 10-Sep-13 10:49:17

Oh no, just awful for all the reasons mentioned abovesad

TrueStory Tue 10-Sep-13 10:48:41

Gosh that all sounds pretty nasty, blimey, they're nursery nurses! I would be very upset. Saying about "seeing the real" DS is totally appalling.

As to what you can do now, I don't know, I have no advice there. I would be very unhappy about it though.

p.s. getting a cold can make even rational adults, under-the-weather and emotional.

5madthings Tue 10-Sep-13 10:47:13

Yanbu food shouldn't be used as a punishment and he was clearly not feeling well. Yes manners are important but at that age the key thing is to model them to the child, not insist on it being said, they can't all talk at that age anyway!

Very mean to upset him when he was clearly not feeling well. They recognised he was out if sorts but did nothing to make allowances for him sad

pigletmania Tue 10-Sep-13 10:45:03

Their approach is just horrid

pigletmania Tue 10-Sep-13 10:43:44

Of course I teach my Chidren manners, and myself try to demonstrate by example, but punishing a unwell toddler like that is not on!

memder Tue 10-Sep-13 10:42:58

Awful awful awful! YANBU.

"the real ds" when child is clearly poorly?? That is awful.

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