To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

(807 Posts)

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WombatCat Mon 09-Sep-13 23:57:27

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

confuddledDOTcom Fri 13-Sep-13 19:36:01

I'm wondering what disability the guy sat next to us during WWZ had, he treated his partner like she was Google "What's that...? Why did he say that...?" Is rudeness a disability? When you go to the cinema it is rarely quiet, people rarely not talk, get used to it.

I did actually point out that if I had wanted the Wiki version I would have stayed home and got it!

hazeyjane Fri 13-Sep-13 10:38:02

I think a really valid point in this discussion, is that the world of the arts should be and usually is a very inclusive one, which is why i would be very shocked if somewhere like the ROH said that someone with verbal tics would not be welcome.

2 members of my family work in the arts, with children and adults with learning disabilities, one in the theatre, and one in art. They do work in all sorts of theatres and art galleries, and have never had a problem with people being made to feel unwelcome.

One of the reasons why I linked to the 3 artists with Tourettes earlier, is that the arts are an area of life that can be so beneficial and enjoyable to people with all different sorts of disabilities, it is not some closed off world of people sitting silently in awe.

I don't know if anyone has seen anything about the work of John Lubbock and Music for Autism, their concerts look amazing.

IceBeing Fri 13-Sep-13 09:32:24

sock oh what a relief. Has the potentially libelous post been removed then? <checks>

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 12-Sep-13 23:22:20

Fanjo.

When we first attended the only things they were interested in was how to make our attendance as easy as it is for none disabled people.
And that dc's enjoyed it and what they could do to assist with coping if needed.

I obviously assured them that each child who was likely to have a potential issue would have an individual carer to assist them with those matters so they didn't need to assist.

But they still did by providing every child who needed one with a free carers ticket.

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 12-Sep-13 23:21:26

Yanbu.

Yes in that mans shoes I might have found it irritating but common sense would have told me the man making "noises" probably had a disability, was not doing it on voluntarily and was probably trying hard not to do so. So I would focus on the film and move on. This is what normal people do surely? Notice something, have a little think, have the lightbulb moment?

I find it quite amazing that people in this day and age actually think it's okay to do things like that man did. So it's annoying? And? More annoying for the young man with Tourette's having wankers like that making his life harder for him.

As for asking for a refund because somebody with a disability wasn't able to sit completely silently (as if all not disabled people are hmm) , well the thought of uttering those words actually makes my toes curl.

Special screenings could be a positive, if they are merely available. But not if they're enforced. All gets a bit unpleasant when people start talking about enforced separation. And reminiscent of a period of history not so long past.

YouTheCat Thu 12-Sep-13 23:20:20

That just makes what was posted earlier sound like utter wank. Which is nice. smile

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 12-Sep-13 22:58:09

That is good to know smile

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 12-Sep-13 22:54:48

Well not once have any of my children ever been asked to leave the ROH not once has any staff member frowned at them or requested they stop making the noises they do or the striming.

Its one of the few places I can take them all knowing they will be treated with respect and dignity and they will enjoy themselves.

Staff have previously reassured me that should anybody act in a intimidating way towards them that person will be ejected, should anybody decide to complain about them they will be reminded of the law and the ROH commitment to following it.

GetStuffezd Thu 12-Sep-13 18:48:57

Fucking hell, only got half way through this and given up. If I were at the cinema at this time, ok I'd be frustrated at the distraction to the film but FFS - write it off as a baddun and consider how much courage it might have taken the person to go out in the first place! And I say this as someone who's bloody skint most of the time.

I would be mortified to say to the ticket person "I'm sorry but I want a refund as a disabled person spoiled my experience."

I teach kids with a range of SN and I whole heatedly admire the parents who have to raise their kids in the face of bollocks like this. Some HORRIBLE specimens of humanity on this thread.

What a depressing thread. sad

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 12-Sep-13 18:23:15

It's such a shame that in 2013, there are still so many disablist cunts in the world. On the flip side, for every twat, there are 10 non-twats who are pushing forward for equality of opportunity. Btw, for those who are apparently confused - this does not mean that everyone has exactly the same type of seat, parking space or amount in benefits, it means that everyone has an equal opportunity to sit down or park or receive benefits.

BerniceBroadside Thu 12-Sep-13 18:18:09

I've now read this entire thread and have learnt stuff. I'm saddened to read of the experiences some people have had.

I absolutely agree that there should be equality of access. However I'm not sure I agree that leaving because someone in making unintentional noise is automatically disablist.

If you're a huffy puffy git who likes to moan about other people, often whilst failing to realise that your huffing and puffing is louder than the person you were complaining about, then I'm voting entitled and disablist.

But if you have significant problems filtering out background noise, possibly because you have a disability yourself, and choose to slip out during the interval then I don't think it's fair to be lumped in with the huffy puffy gits.

I have an ex colleague who didn't have a disability, but did have issues with background noise. She often used an iPod or earplugs in the office, on public transport etc to make things more comfortable for her. She wasn't a huffy git and would have been mortified to be thought of as disablist if she'd left somewhere because it was uncomfortable for her to stay.

A bit of noise wouldn't bother me. Working in open plan offices and offices with open door policies you get used to filtering out the noise. A freight train could rumble past and I wouldn't blink.

MrsDeVere Thu 12-Sep-13 17:57:18

It is ridiculous that the poster who phoned them thinks it is proof that they would do anything.

Poster 'Hello is that the ROH?'
Receptionist 'Yes'
Poster 'Can I ask you a question? If someone came to a ballet and kept making really loud noises would that be ok even if he had Tourettes or something?'
Receptionist 'erm, well no I don't know, I suppose not'
Poster 'so are you saying they would have to leave?'
Receptionist 'erm well, I don't know, maybe, if they were upsetting people, perhaps, yes ok'

really? Unless the poster spoke directly to the inclusion lead or someone with actual knowledge and authority her evidence is meaningless.

I can just imagine the variety of responses I would get if I phoned 5-6 Odeon cinemas and asked the same question. hmm

They're not exactly going to say yes on twitter r they.

GobbySadcase Thu 12-Sep-13 17:48:04

I'm considering tweeting this to the roh and asking if they'd really ask a disabled person to leave because of their disability, because the allegation they would on here means they'd be prepared to act illegally.

Too right, YouTheCat. It annoys me that disablist comments aren't recorded in educational settings in the same way as racist ones.

YouTheCat Thu 12-Sep-13 16:30:41

They learn the attitudes from their parents.

She has also just informed me that there is an utter arsehole in her tutor group who refers to things as 'retarded' and one of their tutors, who may have CP, as a 'spacca'. hmm

I've told her to have a word with a tutor as it is not on.

ginslinger Thu 12-Sep-13 16:29:05

Strokey and anyone else, if it's a choice between sitting next to someone munching their way through 5 tonnes of popcorn and slurping their massive diet cokes or someone who has a tic then there's no contest. And that goes for the paper rustling, whispering, phone checking and all the attendant crap that really boils my piss.

And I'd far rather sit next to someone with a tic than someone who is so fucking determined that they have a greater right than anyone else to watch a film in silence.

I agree, Writer. the influence of ignorance at home is always going to be stronger than whatever schools and experience etc try to teach, in many cases.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 12-Sep-13 16:19:02

Is it a throwback to the time when disability was hidden away?

You never know Beer.....

People only have discriminatory attitudes if they have been bought up with them or had them taught to them.

It's weird, isn't it, YouTheCat?

DS's school shares facilities and outings with a school for children with severe additional needs. Cooking, ICT, pantomines, bowling, school council meetings......

Not once has he said anything the pupils at that school have done has disturbed his enjoyment of an activity.

You wonder when the intolerance sets in for some people. Is it a throwback to the time when disability was hidden away?

intitgrand Thu 12-Sep-13 16:13:21

The management decide

YouTheCat Thu 12-Sep-13 16:12:50

My 18 year old dd just came in from college and said 'oooh what's this thread' so I told her.

She is young yet she gets that everyone should be entitled to enjoy a nice trip out without being tutted at and abused.

Pity others can't see beyond their own wants.

Which other patrons, intit?

If i went to a children's film or a pantomime no amount of noise would bother me. Yet as we've seen in the past, noise at a panto does bother some people.

So which sections of an audience get the casting vote on this? Me? Or the less tolerant ones?

usualsuspect Thu 12-Sep-13 16:04:20

Maybe they are all the same one. <hopeful>

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