To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

(807 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

WombatCat Mon 09-Sep-13 23:57:27

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

comingalongnicely Tue 10-Sep-13 08:50:31

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Fontofnowt Tue 10-Sep-13 08:51:37

Some of the replies are very revealing.

Would it be so completely out of the question for those that value their undisturbed film to just ask for a reissued ticket?
And then maybe spend an hour contemplating an illness like that?

I'm ok because I have non verbal tics.
Don't sit beside me though or you may get an unexpected cuddle.

MrsHoratioNelson Tue 10-Sep-13 08:51:48

This is difficult because it is annoying to have the film disturbed, but its entirely possible that attending this film was part of the man's ongoing treatment. Betting used on situations where you have to control the ticks if possible must be important so that you can live something of a normal life. It's not unreasonable to be annoyed, but its downright rude to be so vocal about it.

As someone else said, Being A Twat is not a recognised disability. If it were, all those disabled parking space threads would be even more heated wink

Shakirasma Tue 10-Sep-13 08:53:18

I am getting so fucking angry here. Special screenings???

With people please THINK about what exactly you are suggesting?? really????

NecessaryWeevil Tue 10-Sep-13 08:54:47

And do you know what, our local cinema has special screenings, but they are during weekdays, so fine if your child is not at school, or the disabled person doesn't work, it's fine, but what are you supposed to do if they are at school, or work?
I'm pretty sure a trip to the cinema won't count as exceptional circumstances to take your child out of school, and I certainly wouldn't take a day off work to go to the cinema.

Lets hope in years to come, people will look back and regret how intolerant they have been to fellow human beings.

ILetHimKeep20Quid Tue 10-Sep-13 08:56:13

There are special screenings for children with autism. It's not really that much of a stretch to suggest the same for adults

Writerwannabe83 Tue 10-Sep-13 08:56:38

This is a really difficult one.

I have a disability myself and have been in situations where I've had to think about how making amendments for me would impede on others. I have epilepsy so when I was younger I didn't go to night clubs. On a 'fairness to all level' I could have gone and made them turn all their strobes and flashing lights off as I had "as much right as anyone to be there" but I never ever would! I wouldn't expect other people's experiences of things to have to be altered to accommodate me. I never put myself in a situation where my disability could potentially affect others because I would be considerate of their rights as well as my own.

So, with regards to the guy with Tourette's, if it was me it would never even occur to me to go to the Cinema. I would accept that it is an environment that requires silence and that people have paid for that experience and so would never jeopardise it. I would wait until the DVD came out and buy a bag of popcorn from the supermarket smile

I just think that when someone has a disability, me included, we have to accept we have to live our lives a little differently and that there are things we can't do - or we could do but only at the expense of others - and just graciously accept that.

I would never have been mean to the man in the Cinema, but if I'd been the man I wouldn't have gone in the first place.

NecessaryWeevil Tue 10-Sep-13 08:56:39

Heaven forbid that anyone would be self righteous and tolerate disabilities hmm

tabulahrasa Tue 10-Sep-13 08:56:55

Autism friendly screenings aren't put on so that other people aren't disturbed by disabled people. hmm

They're set up differently for people who have specific issues with sensory input, so the volume is lower, the lights are left on low rather than off...they're designed to meet the needs of one group of people, not some segregated showing for anyone with a disability.

Shakirasma Tue 10-Sep-13 08:58:14

And can I also add, special needs screenings are adapted to make the showing more tolerable for the audience, re sensory issues etc.

They have got nothing to do with segregation, which is what some of the selfish arses on here want.

cashmiriana Tue 10-Sep-13 08:58:59

I recently went to see the RSC on tour: theatre tickets aren't cheap, and seeing world class Shakespeare in my home city is a huge treat.

The performance was completely and utterly ruined by a constant stream of noise from someone a few rows back from us. It became obvious during the interval that the person concerned had some level of disability and that the behaviour was involuntary. However that does not alter the fact that live theatre was being interrupted every few seconds by shouts, squeals and hissing noises, plus the noise of the person talking to their carer.

Unfortunately the reality was that it completely spoiled the performance for me. It also spoiled it for my elderly father who is deaf and wears a hearing aid, relying on the induction loop in the theatre. He simply couldn't hear the performance over the noise of this other person. He's disabled too. In this situation, does the other person's disability 'trump' that of a deaf person?

So what's the answer? I really don't know.

Fontofnowt Tue 10-Sep-13 08:59:06

Special screening.
I don't want to go to a special anything.
Just like I would suck it up if you had a cough or a weak a bladder or a greedy snack habit I think you can manage my leg twitch and my arm jerks.
I'm almost 40 so used to people with less than sympathetic reactions but it does still suprise me to see shit like special screening or special rooms.

Did anybody give the guy a chance to actually watch the film. I mean he may well have left of his own accord if he struggled to contain it.

Bit harsh to just jump on the guy like that. Maybr the medication was not wuite kicking in or he and his gamily had worked out techniques etc. Cinemas are so loud it can't have been that hard to hear the film.

Sure cinema would have reimbursed anyone who had a complaint.

Nancy66 Tue 10-Sep-13 09:04:19

Some of the reactions on here are a bit OTT

The man in the cinema was rude but I understand the sentiment.

The cinema is expensive and the thing that's absolutely key is being able to hear/understand what's going on . So if that is disturbed by anyone: crying baby, noisy kids, ringing phones, hacking coughs or man with Tourettes then, yes, it's annoying.

On the bus, in a shop, in the park, in a café? He'd have had no right to say anything.

At the cinema where, perhaps he'd paid £40 for a family, I think he has the right to expect to hear the film and concentrate.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Tue 10-Sep-13 09:04:51

Fucks sake, why should people with disabilities be given their own screenings. I would rather there was a specific screening so all the intolerant fuckwits can go.

Fontofnowt Tue 10-Sep-13 09:05:07

wheresmycaffeinedrip
Exactly that.
We are acutely aware and embarrassed already so if weknow we are disruptive we tend to fuck off and wither somewhere.

Ticcing.

littlemisswise Tue 10-Sep-13 09:05:14

OMFG this thread is awful!

The man was plain nasty, incredibly intolerant and disabilst as are a lot of posters on this thread!

Will some of you have a word with yourselves? Do you think that diasbled people should be shut away and never seen? I really, really can not believe what I am reading! You should be fucking ashamed!angry

ThisTimeItsPersonal Tue 10-Sep-13 09:06:16

It can't be easy going out when you know you have such an easily recognisable disability.. And to be shot down like that is horrible!

I think people need to remember that disabled people can't just stay cooped up - its not fair. Okay maybe its a bit difficult sometimes, but as the OP said, the noise wasnt bothering her, so it really can't have been THAT bad?

And the volume they play films at now - i cant even hear the lip smackers and drink slurpers anymore!

Pagwatch Tue 10-Sep-13 09:12:11

I can't think of the last screening I wentto that didn't have people using their phones, getting up to go to the loo, talking during the film, bunches of teens shouting out or messing around etc etc.
It's funny how they never get shouted at.
Shouting at someone with disabilities is just fine and dandy. They are not 'us'.

I am absolutely gobsmacked by the attitudes on this thread. I thought I'd seen my share of intolerant bollocks on here, but this is just shock

So people with Tourette's shouldn't be allowed in the cinema? What a load of disablist bollocks. The sound in the cinema is so fucking loud anyway its hard to hear anything over it.

aww come on , if you had 'very vocal tourettes' the last place you would want to be is a quiet cinema surrounded by people?

Why? Why would having tourette's stop you from being a film lover or wanting to see a film?

They have to put up with people looking at them and staring at them and being angry at them and intolerant ever single fucking day of their lives. Being disapproved of in a cinema is just a drop in the ocean and the comments on this thread show why.

My child has autism and makes noises - should he be banned from the cinema as well? Go and fucking well read the "This is my child" campaign the lot of you who have made shitty comments because you're attitude is way worse than one person in a cinema.

Writerwannabe83 Tue 10-Sep-13 09:14:37

I just think that as non-disabled people should be courteous of people with disabilities, people with disabilities should be courteous of others. It is a two way street.

Like I said, I have a disability myself so am in no way prejudiced or a disablist (great word if you made that up) I just think all people should be considerate of others.

I see myself just as equal as anybody else and this means I treat people how I want to be treated and I don't believe other people should have to 'suffer' (I can't think of a better word) just because I have a disability.

I am different and I accept that I can't be like everyone else and do what everyone else does, but I'm no martyr about it. I just get on with life within my limitations and I don't expect others to have to bear the brunt of my condition.

littlemisswise Tue 10-Sep-13 09:20:06

Disablist is in the dictionary, Writer.

I am disabled, too. I want to do exactly the same things as everyone else. The only thing I can't do is walk with out sticks.

That man had every right to be in the cinema. If the rude man didn't like it he should have left, he should not have asked if there was a special showing he could have gone to.

NecessaryWeevil Tue 10-Sep-13 09:20:11

It's not just the cinema though..
If I take my ds to get new shoes, or if I have to take him to the supermarket (you know sometimes you can't avoid it), I spend the time ignoring the head shakes and comments " should have left him at home", so I suppose it's not too great a leap to see that there are some who would want complete segregation.
Some of you should be hanging your heads in shame.

I know MN leave these threads standing because it's "educating" those who don't understand, but this is shocking.

midlandslurker Tue 10-Sep-13 09:22:27

Has anybody considered the fact that the supposed"rude man" also had a disability ?

Maybe he had problems with auditory perception,ASD or a learning disability.

The fact of the matter is both people were disturbing the rest of the audience which personally would have ruined the evening for me.

People sleep through their babies crying, or their kids banging in doors or miss parcels cos tv was on yet somehow one person Stifling a few tics suddenly they loose ability to zone out.

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