Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To think this man at the cinema was plain nasty?

(807 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread. Read here.

WombatCat Mon 09-Sep-13 23:57:27

Dh and I watched a film at the cinema on Saturday night.

There was a young man a few rows back from us with very vocal Tourette's. Obviously it was distracting to most people around him, but once the film started I didn't find it an issue. However, one man decided to tell him to shut up and "isn't there a special showing you could go to?"

Quite a few people appeared to be in agreement with him. I now wish I said something.

PartyOrganisor Thu 12-Sep-13 14:50:00

Strokey, I am actually pretty sure that none of the parents in here would go out to annoy people just because they can. If you read even though this thread, you have some examples of what parents do so that their dcs can still enjoy the cinema, theatre or whatever but would never impose a shouting child to the other people present.
All just because they can.

That's not how people with SN and their parents are.

But they are all individuals that have learnt that if you don't fight for that little bit if freedom and extra allowance and sometimes ask for more, then they get excluded because no special allowance is made for them.
Surely, if we can ask someone with Tourette to restrict his outings for the comfort of others, we can also ask these 'others' to lower their requirement for silence about too?

Should that not work both ways?

YouTheCat Thu 12-Sep-13 14:50:45

Strokey I would bet my bottom dollar that anyone who is disabled and doesn't go to the cinema because of that even though they would like to, don't go because of people like you and the man in the OP.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 12-Sep-13 14:51:40

Hello

Many apologies (again) for taking a while to get this one; we've had a mountain of mail to deal with over the last couple of days.

We're going to go through the recent posts and reports now, but in the meantime we'd be grateful if you could remember our Talk Guidelines, particularly the bits about disablism and about personal attacks.

Thanks
MNHQ

Dawndonnaagain Thu 12-Sep-13 14:51:56

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AmberLeaf Thu 12-Sep-13 14:52:26

IceBeing Thats really good, I just think MNHQ should make more of a stand/statement regarding the blatently disablist posts that still stand.

It would give their 'this is my child' campaign some teeth if they backed it up on the boards.

Pagwatch Thu 12-Sep-13 14:53:30

It is just the theatre thread again really.

The interesting thing to me is the complete inability to challenge the sense of entitlement
' I am part of the regular population. I am all for equality as long as it requires nothing of me. I expect my momentary pleasure to remain intact regardless of the overwhelming need of the person I seek to exclude. I will not attempt to empathise if to do so requires that my life experience is altered. I am fine about people with SN right up to the point where I have to put myself out because that is beyond the pale'

It's weirdly fascinating.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 12-Sep-13 14:53:48

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IceBeing Thu 12-Sep-13 14:55:16

amber sorry I am just being selfish...no zealot like the convert.

Without all the disablist statements people have been defeating the thread won't make sense...it should just be pulled.

YouTheCat Thu 12-Sep-13 14:55:43

I said the same, Dawn, a few pages back.

I hear it's a nice hat with bells on and everything. grin

Pagwatch Thu 12-Sep-13 14:55:48

Btw HazeyJane , thanks or those links about classicl performers with Tourette's. Really interesting.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 12-Sep-13 14:57:00

YoutheCat grin

ubik Thu 12-Sep-13 14:57:11

I really hate the noise of rustling sweet wrappers /crisp packets and the stench of fast food/noise of slurping fizzy drink buckets as people stuff their faces full of shite.

I also hate the popcorn all over the floors, the spotty teenagers and the filthy loos.

Someone with tourettes making involuntary noises ain't a big deal when faced with the full horror of the modern chain cinema experience

Dawndonnaagain Thu 12-Sep-13 14:57:51

Good summation, Pag it is exactly that, isn't it!

ButThereAgain Thu 12-Sep-13 14:58:23

That is well put Pagwatch. The other thing to add is that this requires so very little of the "regular population". I'm 50 and it has only ever happened to me once that someone with special needs was quite noisy near to me. Contrasting with the millions of occasions when the everyday noisiness of excited children, and people scoffing 100-decibel crisps etc., have disturbed my viewing.

It is such a rare occurrence that surely even if someone does find it annoying (I didn't btw) they can just shrug it off by reminding themselves that any arrangement to insulate cinema-goers from disability would mean a regular, frequent intrusion on the enjoyment of the cinema by people with disabilities and their families. It is a very tiny loss in return for a significant gain.

AmberLeaf Thu 12-Sep-13 15:00:36

amber sorry I am just being selfish...no zealot like the convert

You're alright Icebeing smile I know what you meant.

IceBeing Thu 12-Sep-13 15:01:40

pag in defence of the ignorant...it is that we are ignorant more than that we are horrible...mostly.

If you have been to the cinema a hundred times and never encountered anyone making involuntary noise you come to believe that peaceful cinema experiences are your birth right. Challenging that life experience is hard.

But I think once you realise that the person with the disability has through no fault of their own never had the right to peaceful cinema experiences you realise that you don't have that right either...you have just been privileged up until now.

I think anyone who still believes they have the right to a peaceful cinema experience even after realising that others clearly don't EVER get that experience must at some level blame people with disabilities for being disabled....I don't know how else you arrive at a "your fault, your problem, you should leave and stop disturbing me" conclusion. sad

tabulahrasa Thu 12-Sep-13 15:01:49

"Really don't think it's controversial. It's common sense. Being thoughtful. Applies to everyone."

So people with a disability should be thoughtful about the general public's enjoyment of leisure activities, but the general public shouldn't have to be thoughtful if slightly disturbed by a noise made by someone with a disability?

Well that's not applying it to everyone then is it?

TheFakawi Thu 12-Sep-13 15:03:25

Great post from Pagwatch...

"I am all for equality as long as it requires nothing of me"

sums up the shitty selfishness on this thread perfectly.

Writerwannabe83 Thu 12-Sep-13 15:03:51

I see there are some people on this thread who have Tourettes themselves so can I ask a genuine question about what you would do in a situation like the OP posted about?

If you were at a screening and your tics were very loud and vocal and were happening quite frequently, say every few minutes and you knew you were disturbing the viewing for some other people, what would you do? If you saw other people leaving would it upset you or would you understand?

Just for the record, I am not trying to start an argument and am just genuinely interested. We keep talking about how we as the other cinema goers should behave and react etc, so I'm just interested as to how the person with Tourettes would perceive things?

IceBeing Thu 12-Sep-13 15:07:20

sorry just working through my thoughts out loud.

Maybe some sort of actual education would be good eh...then people like me wouldn't be working it out in public probably trampling all over others feelings...

maybe if we had institutions in which people were taught all together at the same time we could improve the efficiency of the message transmission <sighs>

or maybe instead of addressing this major issue of inclusionism and acceptance we could keep farting around with changing the name of the GCSEs or whatever the fuck the government is currently bollocking on about.

ubik Thu 12-Sep-13 15:10:12

If you have been to the cinema a hundred times and never encountered anyone making involuntary noise you come to believe that peaceful cinema experiences are your birth right. Challenging that life experience is hard.

Oh bollocks.

It's just common decency. Someone is there watching your precious film and they make involuntary noises...so bloody what. It's just a film. Not a birthright. It's a film. Just a film.

strokey Thu 12-Sep-13 15:11:22

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PartyOrganisor Thu 12-Sep-13 15:13:10

Writer
Don't you think you will get as many different answers as there people, just like with NT people?

PartyOrganisor Thu 12-Sep-13 15:15:50

Ice
I think you are probably right. There is a need for education.

Assuming everyone knows about SN and how hard it is is a dream (I didn't really understand until I was faced with it myself).
But unfortunately thinking that some sort of course will solve the issue maybe dreaming abut too.

YouTheCat Thu 12-Sep-13 15:16:21

Strokey is reminding me of a lovely woman I encountered on the metro last year. Very loud conversation with her friend where she stated that she 'didn't want her kid catching retarded' because there was a child with sn in the same nursery. Though I do doubt the metro woman would be able to type anything other than text speak tbh.

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