AIBU to expect ex to attend hospital appt with DC2

(34 Posts)
Theydeserve Mon 09-Sep-13 21:24:21

Ex agreed weeks ago to take DC2 to hospital appt, has two very important appts in close succession - he taking one off work and me the other.

Tonight he phones to say his new DP has had a bereavement at the weekend, is in such a state vomiting, has been admitted to hospital and he can not go tomorrow because he needs to be with her.

Theydeserve Mon 09-Sep-13 22:39:21

quoteunquote - do you know her!!

I do usually detach and ignore, then he offers to do something and 99/100 lets the DCs down - but you keep trying because you want them to know their Dad, have a relationship with their Dad and you hurt for your kids.

Have had my rant now going to sleep before tomorrow and what other hell that brings.

DoJo Mon 09-Sep-13 22:41:19

You certainly can end up being admitted to hospital for no reason if you have the brass neck to fake symptoms for long enough.

Mollywashup Mon 09-Sep-13 22:46:28

That is typical of some women my nieces dad moved to Cyprus because his girlfriend didn't want his daughters around some women are jealous of ex wives and children and will do anything to stop a relationship, you have my total sympathy hopefully he will one day see her for what she is

megsmouse Tue 10-Sep-13 00:34:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface Tue 10-Sep-13 00:44:16

megs yes they do, I am one of them. But isnt it odd that whenever I was PG, or got a job or my (ex) DH got a replacement company car or we went on holiday, my (now ex) SIL announced a PG and whenever I miscarried, she miscarried too, despite her never taking a pg test (by her own admission) and never having any antenatal care. One "mc" was at 26 weeks, but she shrugged it off as a "heavy bleed". That was when my ex PIL finally twigged as my MIL lost a child ay 20ish weeks so knew how it happened.

After over 20 m/c in 3 years, she assaulted my ex DH at his mothers funeral because "no one hurts more than I do".

They do exist.

solarbright Tue 10-Sep-13 01:24:44

YANBU. Even if she really was in hospital being rehydrated and/or sedated for a 'proper' reason (and not simply being a drama queen), your DH would need to take his child to his hospital appt. He would simply have to leave her bedside (after all, she is in hospital and being cared for), long enough to do what needs doing for his son. That's what parents do. If I were in hospital for something non-life threatening and one our DC needed to get to an important hospital appt, he'd damned well better leave me and get our kid to the doctor.

Sorry, OP, he's not much of a father, is he? Your DC are lucky to have you. Hope the op goes perfectly for your DC.

Sokmonsta Tue 10-Sep-13 04:57:48

Surely ex dh wouldn't be allowed to be by her bedside 24/7, visiting hours are usually afternoon and evening therefore plenty of time to still take dc to appt and then visit gf in hospital.

Sounds like the ex is as bad as his gf as he's jumped on her being ill as an excuse for not doing as arranged.

In future I'd arrange everything to suit you and inform him of any hospital stays etc when its a done deal. He then has the choice whether to visit or not. It's not going to help you out at this already stressful time to be dealing with a man who can't step up as well as his drama llama gf.

congresstart Tue 10-Sep-13 13:39:25

People like his girlfriend do exsist unfortunately, it just seems very suspect that she has a drama everytime something terrible is happening to his DC.

I hope your childs operation goes well, and he has the good sense to come through as a dad.

Morloth Tue 10-Sep-13 14:35:04

He is the problem not her. What a shit.

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