DS 13 upset about no internet at night? AIBU or is he?

(138 Posts)
fridgealwaysfull Mon 09-Sep-13 21:00:53

Hi
DS is 13 and has had a major tantrum tonight, he's still going on about it. DH and I have decided that it's not good for him to take his phone/ipod to bed and chat to his friends on snapchat/facetime etc til he decides to fall asleep. We've told him he can use the internet til 9.30pm and then it's off, he can either listen to music or read...aibu? he's reacted as if it's the worst thing that could ever happen to him. He's our eldest and I'm beginning to wonder if we've done the right thing

cocolepew Mon 09-Sep-13 21:02:39

You're definitely doing the right thing.

Chippednailvarnish Mon 09-Sep-13 21:03:10

13 and having a major tantrum?
It would be 6.30 with an attitude like that.

Donnadoon Mon 09-Sep-13 21:05:10

Oh god you are definately doing the right thing! Do.Not.Back.Down.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 09-Sep-13 21:05:22

I'd say no gadgets in bed, but I am cruel and old. Nowt wrong with a book. And I'm not plugged into my iPad 18 hours a day at all

pianodoodle Mon 09-Sep-13 21:05:23

It's the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone ever.

In his mind anyway smile

But it isn't - and half nine is more than reasonable!

bundaberg Mon 09-Sep-13 21:05:43

yanbu in the slightest.

in fact, i prob wouldn't let a 13 yr old be up on the internet til 9.30 either it's 1) too late and 2) not good for helping you wind down before sleep.

Madlizzy Mon 09-Sep-13 21:06:06

What chipped said! In fact, I'd be saying that his reaction says to me that he's getting a bit addicted so a bit of cold turkey may be in order. He'll soon wind his neck in if he thinks a total ban may be on the cards.

JaneTennison Mon 09-Sep-13 21:06:18

Great idea, I don't think you are being OTT at all

Bluestocking Mon 09-Sep-13 21:06:41

Definitely doing the right thing. Your job is to look after him, and that includes making it possible for him to get enough sleep. I wouldn't expect him to understand or sympathise with that, but he shouldn't be having a major tantrum. I agree with Chipped - if he behaves badly, the router gets turned off earlier for a week. He's got to learn to handle this.

ExitPursuedByADragon Mon 09-Sep-13 21:07:13

You are very cruel.

And so am I.

Everything downstairs is the rule here.

everlong Mon 09-Sep-13 21:07:17

Yanbu at all.

We have started taking ds's iPhone/iPad/iPod off him also as he was bleary eyed in the morning because he'd been pissing about all night.

Donnadoon Mon 09-Sep-13 21:07:53

DH actually used to sleep with the hub under his pillow at one point <shudders at the memories > it will be worth sticking to your guns
Even if you have to do it for a week.

OwlMother Mon 09-Sep-13 21:08:30

We do this with ds 13 too. iPod and phone have to be left in the kitchen after about 8.30 and the deal is he reads for the 30-45 minutes before he turns his light off. They do need some kind of wind down. Stuck to your guns.

Lweji Mon 09-Sep-13 21:09:47

He's 13.

Of course it's the worst thing.

Don't back down.

Silverfoxballs Mon 09-Sep-13 21:10:00

A major tantrum would mean a total ban for a couple of days depending on the level of tantrum. My DS knows that as it has happened once so even though there has been the odd strop nothing major since.

Helpyourself Mon 09-Sep-13 21:10:37

fridge
I have the same problem. Honestly, I've failed to implement the no screens overnight rule. The hysterical tantrums, followed by the same the following day defeated me. Interestingly no-one IRL, and I know some real alpha/tiger parents have succeeded.
I'm watching this thread with interest. At present they have them in their rooms overnight and I nag, nag, nag about sleep hygiene, not being available to friends 24/7 and hope they self regulate.
My advice to anyone else? Resist 3G or greater for as long as possible.

pointythings Mon 09-Sep-13 21:11:13

DD12 isn't allowed unsupervised Internet period. Devices stay downstairs at all times, and on school nights Internet use is for homework only. YANBU, stick to your guns.

fridgealwaysfull Mon 09-Sep-13 21:11:18

Thanks to all of you! Glad IANBU. I did wonder whether maybe I was being too strict and old-fashioned. He's just gone upstairs now, came down to complain again about how hard we're being on him. If he comes down again I'll tell him if he carries on it'll be no internet from 9pm. Teenagers....much easier when he was a toddler...

GingerBlackAndOriental Mon 09-Sep-13 21:11:54

I don't think kids that age should have internet access in their rooms anyway be it phone/laptop. Communal areas only.

elastamum Mon 09-Sep-13 21:15:04

For some reason our internet stops working at night when I pull the plug out and we have no mobile phone signal. Bliss grin

fridgealwaysfull Mon 09-Sep-13 21:16:17

I agree Ginger, our mistake to have let him take the ipod and his phone up to bed, we shouldn't have allowed it from the beginning, but at least I think that at 13. No way am I letting the other 2 DCs do this when they get phones. I suppose the only way is to turn the router off at 9.30, maybe we should have said that devices should be downstairs, but its too late to change that now....can't face another tantrum sad

fridgealwaysfull Mon 09-Sep-13 21:17:26

sorry I'm not making sense! What I mean is that he's still young enough for us to start this

ExitPursuedByADragon Mon 09-Sep-13 21:17:34

It's not difficult. Just take all tech off them.

orangeandemons Mon 09-Sep-13 21:20:12

Oh God, I remember this, dh used to hide the router. Different place every night. The little sods still used to find it though....

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