To ask what you give/or not in terms of pocket money?

(114 Posts)
Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 19:22:34

Dd is nearly 11. When she is older we plan to give her a sort of allowance so that she can get used to managing money (treats, comics, milkshakes) but now, while she is still in primary school we are not sure what to give in terms of amount and wondered what you do. Also, do you give pocket money dependent upon chores/music practice etc?

glendatheveryexcitedwitch Sat 07-Sep-13 20:50:30

Ds 13 gets £30 per month plus his phone - this is for trips out with his mates, games and extra read expensive clothes!! His chores are to wash up daily after dinner, walk the dog after school and to whizz the Hoover round the front room after school. He hasn't had pocket money for past couple of months as he has to be nagged and mithered to do his chores. Have no idea how to get him to understand how easy life would be for him and us if he just got on and did it!!! Any ideas?? Am I doing it all wrong?

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 20:55:15

I know just how you feel Glenda, Dd had some chores and had to be reminded to do them constantly, she's a really easy, good girl but it drove us mad! That's why I thought of linking them to pocket money or some of the pocket money!

Whereisegg Sat 07-Sep-13 21:08:16

My dd is 10 and recently requested pocket money so I had the same dilemma.

She is expected to pitch in round the house but we came up with a list of extra jobs, each of which has a different amount allocated to it, but with a limit on how many times a week she can do them.

The maximum she can earn is £5 a week BUT the big thing with the list of extras (as explained clearly to her) is that I will not nag her to do these jobs, if she wants to do them and earn money she has to say "I'll get the washing in/wash up tonight/hoover".
Therefore it is completely up to her what she earns, so I never want to hear her moan that she doesn't have pocket money this week.

It seems to be working really well, and she ticks off jobs on her list using a different colour each week to make it easy to tot up her earnings.

marriedinwhiteisback Sat 07-Sep-13 21:10:12

lila dd has started window shopping around bond Street and went up about twice a week in the hols. It's the only place where the stuff is interesting evidently. Hoping it will spark a bit of ambition.

Wuxiapian Sat 07-Sep-13 21:13:19

DS, almost 15 get £15 a month. Considering upping it to £20.

I expect him to do a few household chores.

I buy his clothes/shoes/things for school. He buys his personal care items.

Wuxiapian Sat 07-Sep-13 21:14:02

Tut. I meant £15 a week: £60 a month.

Dd (15) - 50 plus 10 for phone, plus 50 ish for clothes. £100 for dance/activities

Writerwannabe83 Sat 07-Sep-13 21:19:27

I feel like I missed out as a child - I stopped getting pocket money when I was 14. I was then expected to get a paper round, which I did, and that was that.

An 18 year old getting pocket money? When I was 18 and a student at Uni whilst still living at home I was paying my parents £125 a month rent!

How times have changed grin

Romann Sat 07-Sep-13 21:23:04

Mine are 11, 9 and 7 and they don't get any pocket money.

They have never asked, though a few times DS1 asked to have financial reward when he got good marks at school. I said no, that I wasn't paying him to try hard at school! They don't go out independently yet though, and definitely don't have any material needs that aren't met.

Rufus43 Sat 07-Sep-13 21:52:05

lilacroses should have said, doh! That s per month. We pay for phone, clothes, books, school stuff everything really. We also save money for him in an account he can't get to. He quite often saves his birthday and Christmas money

That may change if and when he starts wanting more expensive things like branded clothes

Apparently all his friends get more pocket money, I have said if he can do me a spreadsheet of his class with what they get and what they have to pay for I will reconsider....no spreadsheet yet grin

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 22:51:37

Thanks for coming back Rufus. Isn't it "interesting" that ALL their friends have this or that! In reality I'm sure it's not like that at all! This has been such a helpful thread, it is really interesting to see how different people do things. I find MN absolutely invaluable for things like this. Thanks all.

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 22:54:34

That's funny Married!!!!

SoonToBeSix Sat 07-Sep-13 22:59:07

My dd gets £52 a month, but she has to earn it by doing chores.
She pays £10 for air cadets,saves £8 for driving lessons,pays her mobile bill, all non essential clothes shoes etc, her own hair products( because she is fussy) bus fares to town, lunch out, cinema etc.

SoonToBeSix Sat 07-Sep-13 22:59:16

She is 14

Lilacroses Sat 07-Sep-13 23:53:37

Your Dd sounds really organised SoonToBeSix! Dd is desperate to be in the air cadets!

missingmumxox Sun 08-Sep-13 03:53:28

My 8 year olds get £10 a week....I don't approve but this was the only way I could get DH to rain in hs spending every Sat, he would buy whatever they desired, unfortunity one was $200 logo, the other $4.99 backugan, so it was silly the minute we where back int he UK, I said pcket money £10 was the least Dh would agree to.
my boys still don't have an appriciation of money, even when I "loaned" expensive child, money to buy an on sale lego and charged him 10% intrest over the 5 weeks it took him to pay him back, him for moaning every week he had no pocket money and his non spending brother saying, he can have my money..
but they are 8, and I have warned them and DH when they get to 13 they will have an allowance like I did and that is tough! the mistake I made, but learned by, my mum made me go and work out what I need to live appart from dinner at night, breakfast, school uniform and hygine products (soap, toothpaste, shampoo, sanitry towels, but made it clear these products would be want she wanted to buy)
so i was very clever, so underware, school lunches, bus fares on sat, clothes, clubs, make-up, pictures, I calculated £40 a month, mum gave me £50 as she said I had under calculated....boy had I under calculated! I struggled for 2 years I found stratigies that got me through she never bailed me out, if I went hungry at school, she would just say, well you will get dinner? you wont starve? I got my first job at 16 she cut my allowance by half! I was pissed off but still better off!
but it did teach me to budget and not spend money I didn't have.

madbengal Sun 08-Sep-13 04:01:58

DD is 12 and her pocket money is paid every 4 weeks its not a set amount as she has to earn it with behaviour & Chores on a chart with extras given for 7 days excellent attitude or helping out more around the flat last week she earned £16 pounds and it goes into her bank account with world of warcraft and £10 topup deducted we pay for everything else for her. Last month she earned £46 and got £25 in her account

I am very aware of the need to associate money with earning it as my parents did for me

comingintomyown Sun 08-Sep-13 06:55:05

DS 16 and DD 14 each get a monthly allowance of £80 paid into a bank account.

I pay their phone bills to a maximum of £20 per month

I also cover all school stuff, haircuts, toiletries and a basic wardrobe.

It is tied to whether they help around the house and I expect them to do a fair bit for that. I have just changed this policy now they are older and told them I expect them to do stuff because they live here are old enough and I shouldnt be expected to run after them.

Over the 2 years we have had this arrangement there have been several months they have had the allowance docked.

It has worked exactly as I had hoped eg them realising how spending adds up, having to wait until a set time to get money once they have spent it - I dont do advances , how saving can mean money accumulates and how if you dont do anything you dont get anything .

Also it has meant I dont pay silly money for branded clothes as I will offer say £40 for a school bag and if DS wants one that costs more he pays the balance.

Sometimes when I read on here DC getting far lower amounts I think I am spoiling them but I do think life is expensive eg a train and cinema entrance would be well over £10 here so all in all I am happy with my system !

Can someone help me get organised with a simple system formoney linked with earning it with multiple children of varying ages?

I really struggle to be consistent because I am forgetful and badly organised. I forget to give them money. I forget who has done what, I forget what we agreed, how to enforce etc.

Problem is, my kids never seem to want or need money. Honestly don't know if they are helping themselves sometimes?

Also where do you draw the line re treats. We have 4 dc ages 5, 9, 12 & 14. If buy my 5 year old an ice cream or some sweets, the older ones would find it unfair if I didn't buy them. Also, my 2nd dc will go out and just buy tons of sweets with any money he has. But he is crap at brushing his teeth, and he has ADHD and the sweets really exacerbate his symptoms. How do you manage what they spend it on?

I would like a system where they can be rewarded ( and docked) for chores but also for good behaviour /meeting targets eg using alarm clock and getting themselves up independently.

Is this achievable and manageable with kids of this age span?

Lilacroses Sun 08-Sep-13 09:24:18

Thanks all more great ideas! Dp and I were saying last night the thing is that if you give a very low amount you will end up constantly giving extra anyway...well assuming they are out and about.

Cominginto, what kinds of things do your kids do round the house?
Madbengal, how do you monitor the chores that your dd does each month.....I really like your system, the way it directly links to jobs is great!
Missing, I understand what you mean. DP is the first to say that we need to make dd appreciative of everything but then takes her out and buys her very expensive treats willy nilly! Luckily she is still a very appreciative girl though.

SoonToBeSix Sun 08-Sep-13 10:06:50

Lila yes she is smile I would definitely recommend air cadets my dd loves it.They teach them to fly gliders solo at 16 and so many opportunities like DOE.

Whereisegg Sun 08-Sep-13 10:15:41

Why will you end up giving extra?
I wouldn't, if she can't afford something this week, she has to wait til next week.
Isn't that a valuable life skill?

We cover all essentials by the way, so her money is just for her to treat herself or save as she sees fit.
If she spends all her money on chocolate on 'pay day' then sees a magazine she wants the next, tough!
Same as with my pay packet...

cathyandclaire Sun 08-Sep-13 10:37:02

DDs up to 16 got monthly allowance to cover cinema/ make-up/snacks out/extra clothes etc (ranging from £10-£35 depending on age.)
From 16 I also added in money for all presents, school lunches and all expenses (apart from basic clothes which DMIL kindly gives them) which works out at an eye-watering £120 BUT I hope this will teach budgeting,
It's early days so not sure if the post 16 policy works yet!

MarshaBrady Sun 08-Sep-13 10:41:51

Ds1 just started getting £2 a week, he's 8. He can spend it on what he wants or save it for something bigger.

baddriver Sun 08-Sep-13 10:45:25

My dd is 11 and gets £5 paid into her bank account each week which she can access after discussion with. The only times she has asked to spend it is on books.

She also gets £2 a week cash but I save it and give it to her at the start of each school holidays for things like milkshakes or whatever. But mostly she just saves it.

ds5 gets £3 a week paid into his account and £10 each school holidays.

The pocket money is not linked to chores or behaviour as they are expected to help and behave.

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