To think it's not on for DD to not be invited?

(231 Posts)
InViennaWeWerePoetry Sat 07-Sep-13 18:08:42

I know it's another family event invite thread, but bear with me. A bit of background- I have an 8 year old DD who I have been privately fostering since May. My family are all aware of this, my mum, dad and maternal grandparents have met DD, the rest of my family have not due to us living a few hours drive away and my work schedule over the summer. I'm hoping to take DD up to visit during October half term.

My paternal grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary is coming up and my aunt and uncle (her dp) are arranging a surprise party. They've been planning to do this for months and were originally thinking of a big party with all their family and friends, but my granddad has been ill recently so they're scaling it down to a family gathering. They've chosen a date close to Christmas as family who don't live locally will be visiting anyway and able to attend. My mum's sister and her family (family part is my dad's side) will be over from abroad on the day so they have also been invited after my mum pointed this out- my parents met at school and their families have always been fairly close, this arrangement isn't unusual. My grandparents on my mum's side are also invited.

My invite to the party/gathering has arrived today and it's just addressed to me, no mention of DD. I've spoken to my brother and his is addressed to him, his DW and their DD, who is almost 2. I'm guessing this means DD isn't invited. AIBU to think this is off?

MrsLouisTheroux Tue 10-Sep-13 21:01:39

Have your family decided what to do OP?

AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat Wed 11-Sep-13 17:29:16

Rowlers is right. It's her way of gaining control and is nothing to do with your DD, in my opinion. It's almost quite likely like Keema says that she is trying to get back at you about the wedding because she thought you ruined everything for her. She's a narcissist and narcissists really can't see past their own noses.

The afternoon tea idea sounds absolutely lovely. I am sure your grandparents would love that too. Low key, not over the top and hopefully something that wont zap them of a lot of energy and yet remind them what a special occasion it is.

All in all though, I hope your grandparents have a wonderful day. How long is it going to be in?

Before MN I had never even heard of people acting so awfully to adopted children and their parents. I mean, I was aware of the "real mother" thing of course, but honestly, "they are not your real children"?!?!???!?!

My dad was adopted and thank goodness he never had any of this. Neither did DBro and I as "adopted grandchildren" or whatever. We were just grandchildren or cousins or whatever. As your DD should be.

I am appalled and outraged on your behalf OP and I hope you can manage a way through it. I am so glad your parents and your brother are being supportive.

2ndryschoolmum2010 Wed 11-Sep-13 18:15:35

I read this and thought it was going to be some pathetic "party politics" thread with someone getting in a huff over nothing - But damn - Your aunt is a royal c**t and I am sorry that you have to be stressed about something that should not even be an issue - I hope the rest of your family are more supportive and embracing of your DD!

2ndryschoolmum2010 Wed 11-Sep-13 18:16:37

I'm so so sooooo angry for you!

MairzyDoats Sun 15-Sep-13 17:27:03

Has your aunt backed down yet OP? I really hope so!

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