Lodger's guests

(41 Posts)
MissDollieMountshaft Sat 07-Sep-13 14:38:21

Hello, I've just rented out two rooms in my house to two lodgers.

They are both nice girls and get on. The rent is inclusive of all bills and they are getting a good deal.

The thing is their guests. It's oonly been just over a week, one had her boyfriend over last weekend and he's here again this weekend (she didn't ask if he could stay) The other asked before she moved in if her boyfriend could stay over for a coupe of nights this week and I said yes but also said that it was about 'balance' (when I said said, I mean texted). He arrived on Wednesday and is still here on Saturday.

AIBU to be worried about this. It's a small house and two couples and me is too much and also there's all the extra bills which seems mean but I'm running on a very tight budget.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much.

BelaLug0si Tue 17-Sep-13 23:50:27


BelaLug0si Tue 17-Sep-13 23:50:04

Eretrew - my understanding is that lodging in someone's house does not require contact nor does it confer tenancy rights. However I'm not a lawyer.

Retroformica Tue 17-Sep-13 19:45:23

Great outcome!

Retroformica Tue 17-Sep-13 19:43:59

Have a house meeting (minus men) with bottle of wine and nicely chat about it. Give them the problem. Say you don't mind them staying 3 nights but you are worried about all the electrics, water, loo roll costs etc. ask them to work our a fair way if doing things.

if the men are there 3 or 4 days each week, then they need to pay towards bills. They are effectively living with you part time.

I suggest you get the girls to pay bills and rent separately. The bills should be split 4 ways with the 4th bit being split in two and given to each boyfriend (or the girlfriend)

eretrew Tue 17-Sep-13 19:31:48

What did you put in the contract? If you did not mention anything about guests you have no leg to stand on.

Turniptwirl Tue 17-Sep-13 19:27:26

Glad it turned out ok :-)

I think you're right to limit overnight guests, even in a house share its annoying if one housemate constantly has bf staying over, but when you're a live in LL I bet it's worse!

I rent a room and have had over night guests about three times, twice was a parent (separately), which I asked permission for as they had my room and I slept on the couch downstairs. Other time was a friend who had my floor so may not have asked for that one. I stay at a friends at least one weekend a month, so far more than I have people here!

At least you've learned to spell it out next time!

MissDollieMountshaft Tue 17-Sep-13 19:14:18

Hello, Soo sorry for the satelleite (sp) delay. Thanks so much for all of your help and advice. I did speak to them but apparently was too unspecific as both boyfriends were here again this weekend. So had a very open conversation on Sunday and xplained that I thought the house was too small for regular guests and that they had to balance out the extra bills and bodies by no more than two nights in a row and alternating weekends - also managed to swing them cleaning their own bathroom ( I have a shower room). One was super fine with it. One is in a bit of a mood with me. But I'm really happy with the outcome. Thanks so much, I wouldn't have handled it at all well let alone successfully without everyone's help.

southeastdweller Mon 09-Sep-13 21:01:17

So did you speak to them?

maddy68 Sun 08-Sep-13 08:14:38

It's a tricky one. As tbh if I was renting a room I would expect to be allowed to invite whoever I want there. You need to have a talk about overnight guests. Say no more than once a week for example and perhaps ask them for an additional charge of £5pppn to cover inconvenience and water etc

whois Sat 07-Sep-13 22:38:50

You need to decide what you are happy with. Don't confuse the money with the inconvenience of them staying. Either it annoys you because it's too many people, or it's the money. One or the other. If you say it's the money they might be happy to pay an additional amount and you'll still be annoyed with the extra people.

How to bring it up? Just have a chat with them both one at a time: "I think we need to talk about overnight guests. I hadn't realised that you were intending on having your boyfriend over to stay so much, the room price and arrangements were really set for an individual, not for someone with a partner staying over. The flat is too small for so may people, and the arrangements aren't suitable at the moment < list out reasons> " ask what they think is fair. Say what you want. Get them to agree or be prepared for them to move out BUT at least you know to have this covo upfront next time.

Worth having 'house rules' agreed and signed before they move in I think.

cjel Sat 07-Sep-13 22:31:40

There is no way my lodgers would have people staying over like this, its taking the micky and they are bad lodgers. they are renting the room not their other halves and if you had wanted couples you would have advertised for that. They are paying for one person to stay in one room of your house. I wouldn't want to be made to feel the odd one out and I wouldn't feel comfortable with blokes around the place all the time, I know loads of people who rent out rooms Ginger and none would think this is acceptable.

I would sit them down and say that you are new to this and are very sorry but you feel you don't want others staying (at all, more than one night a week - or whatever you feel ok about) if they don't like it they can move on and you can get some lodgers who are more considerate.

AllDirections Sat 07-Sep-13 22:19:36

I've had a lodger for 4 months now and it's been a learning curve. He's been a friend for a long time and I knew that visitors would be a problem for me so we had a chat about it before I agreed to him lodging here.

To begin my lodger was behaving like we were sharing a house but we're not. He's renting a room here and it's a different situation totally. I do the cleaning, pay the bills and deal with any home improvements. I think that basically a lodger has no say in the way that a home is run, they either agree to the rules or they don't live there.

My lodger lives here with his 18 month old DS and his 2 other children are here quite a bit too. The 19 year old half sibling of his little DS was coming round to see him along with her younger sibling, her boyfriend, her best friend, etc. and my lodger would leave them all to it. I felt like an outsider in my own home so I put a stop to that straight away.

expatinscotland Sat 07-Sep-13 20:39:44

Wow, they have it made! I want to live with you.

TweedWasSoLastYear Sat 07-Sep-13 20:34:11

If you had advertised for a single room , with room rate applicable for a single person then you are well within your rights to put a cap on the free loaders.
1 mid week and 1 weekend night would be fair, and maybe ask if they could not be on the same night ? That way there is only ever 1 extra person around taking up bathrooom time.
Also worth asking them to respect the 'If your not here , then neither is your b/f' . Imagine walking out of the shower and meeting some random bloke in his pants in the hall . No thanks.

JaxTellerIsAllMine Sat 07-Sep-13 20:24:45

I thought as a lodger you bought your own food/drinks/cleaning stuff etc and put them in a shelf in designated cupboard/fridge/freezer.

The landlord usually does cleaning of communal areas with exception of kitchen/bathroom in my mind.

Talk to them, nip it in the bud now. Otherwise resentment and serious piss taking will ensue.

southeastdweller Sat 07-Sep-13 20:17:47

I can also see both sides here. It's their home, where they should be able to relax, but I do feel they re taking the piss a little. One guest a week each for one night would by my limit. I agree with everyone who's saying that you need to nip it in the bud now - I'm especially thinking of winter coming up and them potentially having lots of cosy nights in with their partners at yours and theirs gaff.

Did you do a tenancy agreement? If so is it a rolling contract or fixed term?

I'm surprised you're paying for some drinks and household stuff when you're on such a tight budget.

From your post at 15.34 you sound like you think of them more as guests than lodgers which I think is a little unfair.

WafflyVersatile Sat 07-Sep-13 18:46:12

To my mind anyone there over half the week is not a visitor. And nights where a partner stays with the lodger should be balanced out by an equal number of night of the lodger staying at theirs.

Of course IRL this isn't always feasible but again you tell them your terms when they come to view the flat and it's their choice whether to accept or not.

Anyway I think we've agreed on the moral of this story!

ALittleStranger Sat 07-Sep-13 17:55:57

Lodging is different to a house share, legally. If they want to call the shots they need a house share. That said they are entitled to overnight guests.

I would state early and clearly that the rooms were let for single occupancy and priced accordingly. You're not going to start logging overnight guests but there is a line where visitors start to look like they live there, and you would ask them to be mindful of this.

Next time this is the kind of thing you have to ask about when interviewing.

specialsubject Sat 07-Sep-13 17:52:48

in a shared house there are limits. Say one night a week and gone by the next mid-day. These two are taking you for a ride.

if they want semi-permanent guests, they have to rent somewhere self-contained.

Weener Sat 07-Sep-13 17:45:14

Well, I say it's all fine; I have also just put the rent up which has not gone down well. But hey ho...

Weener Sat 07-Sep-13 17:42:59

It's an awkward situation and I can see both sides' points of view. I do think that lodgers should be entitled to have people stay over (as they are paying rent and it is their home too) but equally they should know not to take the piss.

I am in a similar situation in that I rent out my spare room to a lodger and I recently had to had to have word with her about people staying over. I am fine with her having mates over or whatever, even fairly regularly (apart from anything else I have people staying over a lot and would feel hypocritical if I didn't allow my lodger to do the same), but recently she had someone here firstly for the Sat night and then Monday to Friday, which in a small 2-bedroom flat in which I do a lot of working from home, was just too much really. The final straw was when this random girl (who I don't know from Adam) came strolling out my my lodger's room and it transpired that my lodger had gone away for a night that I really decided that piss was being taken. It's not a frickin' youth hostel.

Lodger and I eventually had words and it's all fine; and I would recommend that you do bring it up sooner rather than later as the last thing you want is ill-feeling in your own home. Just be calm and express how you're feeling. Good luck with it.

LIZS Sat 07-Sep-13 17:42:10

How have you set up the rent / bills? If it is an inclusive rent then I think you should flag up that that only included a certain amount for extra water/gas/electric which you will monitor over the next bill period and may need to review if it is excessive due to guests. Are your lodgers used to living independently with associated costs and behavioural code or is this their first rental ? You don't want to end up jostling over access to bathroom, meeting strangers on the landing when half dressed or hung over or cleaning up their mess.

Snoopingforsoup Sat 07-Sep-13 17:26:56

But, they are paying rent and it is also their home.

There has to be a bit of give and take.

You need to discuss it, but don't be surprised if the girls move out. As a young lodger myself, I still needed to live my life and my landlady let me have the freedom to do so.

I pulled my weight, I paid my rent and I had a life. Your lodgers will expect the same.

You are being slightly unreasonable.

WafflyVersatile Sat 07-Sep-13 16:02:18

I do not see cleaning as being the live in landlord's responsibility. This is probably why this is the thing I've had problems with. angry grin Cleaner next time!

The live in LL does make a difference but it is still the only home they have.

You get to decide the rules and it will be them who move out if things aren't going well. That's a big power difference in comparison to houseshares.

Whereisegg Sat 07-Sep-13 15:54:35

I would just brightly say that you would like a word regarding overnight guests.

You are right in that a lodging scenario is different to a house share.

I would suggest they get themselves Tupperware for tea bags/coffee/sugar for their guests.
If they choose to use their 'maximum nights of allowed stays' that they put in an extra £x per month to cover water/gas/electricity/wash powder/milk.

Ask them what they feel would be an appropriate amount?
They might surprise you.

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