Fuming with grandparents n lack of support from my dad.

(123 Posts)
ElBombero Sat 07-Sep-13 05:10:32

Grandparents and my dad come over today to meet my 2 day old son. They asked of we had chosen a name, so said yes and told them the name. And their reaction amazed me "what your actually going to christen him that?" "He won't thank you for it when he's older" "it's a Chinese / Asian name" "have you thought of William instead" I was amazed, my DH was out n felt like they just launched on me.l, I was completely unprepared and obviously ubber emotional after just giving birth.
I told them to stop said I don't want any negative connotations on my sons name and it was mine and DH decision and we love it. It carried on a little "well you best give him a middle name to use if he wants" cheeky cheeky selfish bastards I just got angry then. If I dispised a name anyone had chosen family / friend / stranger I would always do the right thing and said it was lovely, not react like that, I'm seriously pissed off.

absentmindeddooooodles Thu 19-Sep-13 11:48:34

I love the name sonny. Top of my list if we ever have another ds. Funnily enough my gps didnt like the soind of it the first time round either. Saying that they hated my sons name....jude. they now love it and love him and refuse to admit they ever had an issue with it smile

CruCru Thu 19-Sep-13 11:41:45

It's nice. It reminds me of the Paul Simon song:

We had a lot of fun, had a lot of money
Had a little son we called Sonny...etc.

quoteunquote Thu 19-Sep-13 11:23:55

buy your grandparents the best of Sonny James I bet they remember the tunes.

catpark Thu 19-Sep-13 11:13:18

Go on wikipedia and look up people with the first name Sonny. Most of the list are american. Alot of singers/musicians and also footballers.

As for the comment about using names that sound fine as kings/leaders etc.
How about these two :- Sonny bono was a singer and in later life a politician.
Sonny Perdue was the governer of the state of Georgia.

Ignore them, but make a point of slipping in Sonny's name each time you speak to them. They will get used to it and if not tough ! You'll find that some people always have a comment to make on your child, if not the name, it'll be your parenting. Or in my case, horror that we didn't have a christening !

You enjoy your little boy.

Teapigging Thu 19-Sep-13 07:42:16

Congrats on your baby, OP. Dont let this sap your joy.

Is Waltzingmatilda actually suggesting that parents all over the world should avoid the name Xavier because of WASP discrimination towards Hispanics??? Or in fact, check every single culture in the world to make sure a potential name isn't déclassé somewhere?

kilmuir Thu 19-Sep-13 07:16:26

Leave it. Not everyones choice of name but they should have been polite. Be the bigger person

Jaynebxl Thu 19-Sep-13 07:12:10

I'd let it drop, give them a call to say thanks and update them on your baby as if they had asked. If you don't feel you can do that you could always just stick a thank you card in the post and pop a pic of Sonny.

Jellybeanz1 Wed 18-Sep-13 23:27:24

This is a beautiful name which feels you with light when you hear it. Having taught secondary for over 16 years I have heard most name but I've only taught 1 Sonny. He was one of the loveliest, brightest happiest boys - very cool too, I imagined that was because his parents were after all it's such a cool name. I thought he lived up to his name, I still have a thank you card he made and visualise him clearly because he stood out. Finding names for my own dc was quite challenging as I didn't want to be reminded of someone else. GP was just trying to relate to baby from his experience, unfortunately not very sensitive. Congratulations on your bundle of joy. flowers

EastFife5Forfar4 Wed 18-Sep-13 23:09:10

Happy Birthday. And congratulations on your gorgeously-named son. I love his name, great choice.

Personally, I just leave arrogant people to it, I'd just not bother with them. They are evidently rude and mean, I can't be doing with such people in my life. You have a gorgeous boy to focus on. Their loss.

ElBombero Wed 18-Sep-13 22:06:30

Update my 30th today, not heard from GP since the above event, they've sent me a card with £60 in. I'm gonna have to ring tomorrow n say thanks but I'm miffed I haven't had an apology, more miffed that I've not even had an enquiry about him, but anyway. How would you suggest I play this? X

ElBombero Sun 08-Sep-13 11:16:27

Thanks so much everyone. Smile and ignore grin he's my baby boy, my sonnys home, and damn he is the cutest little thing I ever laid eyes on grin

ElBombero Sun 08-Sep-13 11:13:39

I'm not sure either he came round yesterday, with more gifts (?peace offering). I asked about the Chinese link he said he had a friend called Suni, he was a Chinese fella. My DH happily shouted the name around the house when playing with DD1 'hey is Sonny your little bro / are we going to go and give Sonny a kiss / can Sonny come on holidays with us?' Hopefully hearing it put loud will help. He has a normal, slightly old fashioned middle name that he an of course use if e wishes. grin

PassAFist Sun 08-Sep-13 10:31:20

IMO it is a nicknamey type name, so I would expect it to be short for something else. If I liked it as a name I would name my son something like Jameson and then just call him Sonny.

My test for names is always:
(1) would I feel like a prat yelling it across the park
(2) if my child became a lawyer, judge, politician, doctor, or some other type of professional would the name still be appropriate
(3) if my child became a movie or pop star would the name still be appropriate grin

MrsDeVere Sun 08-Sep-13 10:16:22

One of my DCs is called Asher.
Immediately she found out DM told everyone in the family that it was spelled Ascher.

I am not sure why although I have my suspicions pretentious

It was only a small thing but it took a looooong time for people to spell it our way. Years. Every time I saw it written down I got the rage a little bit.

Floggingmolly Sun 08-Sep-13 10:13:47

name. blush

Floggingmolly Sun 08-Sep-13 10:13:18

known as

Floggingmolly Sun 08-Sep-13 10:12:53

Be prepared for people wanting to know his real name though, it does sound like a nickname. My Dad was know as Sonny all his life; his actual game was James...

MrsDeVere Sun 08-Sep-13 10:12:00

It is a lovely name.
Congratulations on your new baby
You CAN get your baby buzz back
Your dad wouldn't have understood how you were feeling, he has never been 2 days post birth smile

I am puzzled by their insistence that it is a Chinese name though confused

wowfudge Sun 08-Sep-13 10:05:51

How rude that they voiced their objections to you! It's none of their business. A friend named her first DS Sam and his paternal grandmother was forever calling the child Samuel although that wasn't his registered name. Drove my friend nuts. DP was always known by his middle name by family growing up as it was the 'family' name. When he moved out of home and got a job, he gave up telling people he was known by his middle name and used his first name, which is the one I know him by and - I think - sounds better for a grown man. His family still call him by the middle name.

If you've chosen something your child finds a hindrance when he's older, he can always choose to change his name by deed poll to something of his own choice. That might be harder to swallow than family criticism now though.

Jinsei Sun 08-Sep-13 09:36:51

I worked on the basis that names should be standard, non offensive, not attributable to race creed or colour but above all timeless.

I'm struggling to think of a single name that fits this description! confused

RustyBear Sun 08-Sep-13 09:05:20

For those who favour the 'name a King would use' test, how about:

Ida
Glappa
Adda
Aetheric
Frithuwald
Hussa
Eanfrith
Eadwig
Aelfweard
Aethelred

All perfectly good names of past Kings

Of course if you mean 'sensible names of Kings who have ruled England/Britain since 1066’ the choice is a bit limited. The 35 Kings since the Norman Conquest have had just 9 names between them:

William
Henry
Stephen
Richard
John
Edward
James
Charles
George

and the next three in line won't be adding any new ones to that list.

WorrySighWorrySigh Sun 08-Sep-13 08:45:30

The only proper response to the announcement of a name is 'how lovely/interesting, why did you choose that name?'

Anything else is downright rude.

In the Godfather Sonny was short for Santino IIRC. My DS has a very common slightly nicknamey name and shock horror we didn't use the full formal version on the birth certificate (take that and party judgy M\netters and Katie Hopkins). This would have of course ensured that he would become a future leader of industry\ High Court Judge\ King of the World. Missed a trick there. DM and DMIL 'suggested'smile other names. DM now can't imagine him being called anything else. Smile and ignore. Smile and ignore. Smile and ignore and repeat.
Oh and congrats on gorgeous Sonny!

justmuddlingthroughit Sun 08-Sep-13 08:25:55

Oops, just realised I replied to a post on page one, and we're actually on page 4.... blush

justmuddlingthroughit Sun 08-Sep-13 08:23:04

mrslouistheroux,I think that's exactly what they should have done. If a friend of mine named her child a name I didn't like (shitbag notwithstanding, obviously!), I would simply smile and say something like 'how sweet!'. A lot of thought goes into choosing a child's name, and for me or anyone else to impose our taste or judgement is rude and arrogant. If it's a very unusual name, I might ask where it comes from or how they found it, but only out of curiosity.

Congratulations on the safe arrival of Sonny, elbombero!

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