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to be astonished that secondary kids can't do up a tie

(141 Posts)
SEmyarse Thu 05-Sep-13 21:05:23

Dd1 started secondary today. She has a muscle condition which means that her fingers (amongst other things) are very weak, and she also has very poor co-ordination.

She manages her condition so well in almost every way, and really hates attention being brought to it, so has been practicing doing a tie all summer. She would be mortified to have to ask a teacher to help at this age.

So imagine her surprise when having had PE today, at least 10 kids couldn't get their ties back on, and had to form a queue to get the teacher to help.

Now I get that they've not worn them before, and no-one learns anything instantly but a) why have the parents not taught them? b) why are the kids not concerned themselves that they'll be seen as babies? Someone must have put them on this morning, so they must have been aware they couldn't do them. This doesn't seem like the sort of stuff secondary teachers should have to do.

DiseasesOfTheSheep Sat 07-Sep-13 15:39:30

I'm clearly a total knob 'cos I think it's unreasonable for any man not to be able to tie a bow tie, let alone a double windsor on a normal tie...

And anyone at a tie wearing secondary should be thoroughly ashamed to need help to get one back on - I would have been, but I'd been wearing ties for years hmm

I'm a closet tie snob blush

AmberLeaf Sat 07-Sep-13 15:40:09

My boys learnt just before they went up to high school, no need to have known how before then.

I roughly know how to, but not ever having had to wear one I don't have the practice. My Dad and their Dad gave them tips on technique.

Lots of 'peanutting' of year 7s goes on.

AmberLeaf Sat 07-Sep-13 15:41:14

Diseases, so you'd been wearing one for years? That probably has a bearing somwhat?

DiseasesOfTheSheep Sat 07-Sep-13 15:49:56

Amber, I'd have been appalled to have to ask for help tying my tie at prep school too...

Clip on ties actually make me shudder. They are vile. I completely see there would be some advantage if a miscreant were to attempt to throttle you with a tie, but I'd rather target the bullying mentality within the school than cave in to the fear culture. Ideal world and all that, but I still think they're the thin end of the wedge!

mrspremise Sat 07-Sep-13 16:13:36

My hubby still needs me to do his tie for him if we go somewhere naice... he never had to wear a school uniform and a suit and tie for his work would be wildly inappropriate. It pisses me off. Not as much though as the boy in year 6 at the school where I work who wants me to tie his shoelaces for him. Nearly every day. He's 11 angry My six year old son has been tying his own laces for ages.

theroseofwait Sat 07-Sep-13 16:25:19

YANBU. I like school ties and am pleased that more and more schools seem to be going back to them. Clip on ties are predominantly chosen, in my experience as a secondary teacher, because it stops some poor sod (like me when I was a Head of Year) spending half their working day working through groups of children saying 'do your top button up please' or 'I need to see five stripes on that tie please, otherwise it's too short. . '

Top buttons need to be done up to wear a clip on tie, the fact that they can't throttle each other with them is just a bonus! If some parents could teach their children the importance of looking smart and not encourage sloppy standards then you'd probably find that clip-ons died a death.

TigerseyeMum Sat 07-Sep-13 20:34:05

Why would a child need to feel ashamed of not knowing something they had never been taught?

Childhood and shame are two things that don't need to go together, imo.

dogindisguise Sat 07-Sep-13 21:53:23

I have no idea how to tie a tie so I can't say how hard it is - but presumably if you have to wear one everyday it can't be too hard to get used to it. I never had to wear one for school and I think the only time I've worn one in my life is when I did a horse-riding show when I was about 11.

My children will have to wear ties when they're at school so I suppose I'll have to learn.

VikingLady Sat 07-Sep-13 22:57:32

But, but, but.... You only really need to tie your ties once per term, don't you?! We'd just loosen it and slip it over our head each time we took it off, then slip it back on and tighten it. Easy!

Actually, now I think about it, my school tie is probably still in its final knot some 17 years later grin

MadeOfStarDust Sun 08-Sep-13 08:13:46

hahahaha - our PE teacher used to undo all our carefully slipped off ties whilst we were running round the field...

Dobbiesmum Sun 08-Sep-13 08:28:41

Viking Lady once per year if I could get away with it!
Tie it on the thin end, then cut the thick end short and tuck the rest down your shirt. Tuck the pointy end of the tie inside to make a straight edge (the rebels would but the thin end straight).
Each year had ways of customising their ties when I was at school, some got quite elaborate grin

TensionWheelsCoolHeels Sun 08-Sep-13 08:54:08

I think the material used now to make ties means its harder to tie them properly. I can remember sliding my tie into place, everything glided and it was easy to fiddle about to get the knot right, the fat end centred and the skinny bit not too long/short. My 8 yr old's tie is awful, no glide at all and even I find it a bugger to get right. I'm sure I've nearly strangled my DD trying to get it right! She can do it now, but its not easy like I had it 30+ yrs ago. grin

LiegeAndLief Sun 08-Sep-13 09:02:41

Viking, we found dh's neck tie thing from Scouts recently still in its perfectly formed done-up-ness (for want of a better word) from 30 years ago. He had done the same with that!

Jenny70 Sun 08-Sep-13 09:17:11

All my DH's ties are kept tied... he loosens and slips over his head! But he doesn't need to wear one often -weddings & job interviews only!

MammaTJ Sun 08-Sep-13 09:48:41

The middle school uniform here requires a tie, so children learn how to do it at 9.

Well done for teaching your DD though.

SunshineMMum Sun 08-Sep-13 10:45:07

YABU are you assuming that the other ten are neuro typical?
Even if they are they are having to do something for the first time, in a new school. DS has a clip on smile

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