To not want to listen to this person's constant health issues

(15 Posts)
twistedtoffee Mon 02-Sep-13 14:45:37

I have a colleague who never, ever stops moaning about her health. She always seems to have an ache here, or a pain there or a rash somewhere else. If anyone else has something wrong with them she has had it too, only worse!
I am just back at work after a month off and she is still moaning and going on. Even when another colleague is really ill or has been hospitalised, it doesn't shut her up from talking about herself.

AIBU to want to tape her mouth up with bandages and put her into a one way ambulance far away from HERE? angry

catinabox Mon 02-Sep-13 14:56:08

My gosh. It's even worse after coming back from holiday isn't it?!

Don't worry you'll be desensitised to this incessant self involved whinging in a week or two.

I'm not very tolerant of people complaining about health things so I think YANBU....

arabesque Mon 02-Sep-13 14:56:56

YANBU. Health bores are a PITA. I used to work with someone like that. It didn't matter what anyone else was dealing with in their lives, all she was interested in was cornering them to moan about her bad back and how stressed she was feeling etc etc etc. Totally self absorbed, attention seeking behaviour.

BrokenSunglasses Mon 02-Sep-13 14:58:54

YANBU.

I can't stand people like this, and I can't get my head around why anyone would want to discuss the details of their trivial health problems with colleagues anyway.

angelos02 Mon 02-Sep-13 15:03:05

YANBU. Colleague I work with is forever moaning about how tired she is and then in the next breath she's going on about the night out she'd just had. STFU

arabesque Mon 02-Sep-13 15:04:54

They're the same as people who go out for a meal and spend the whole night talking about how they're allergic to this, and intolerant of that, and coffee gives them a headache and cheese keeps them awake all night and the smell of garlic makes them sick.....
They just want everyone's attention focussed on them and don't realise that no one is interested.

TattyDevine Mon 02-Sep-13 15:05:29

This is tricky. All you can really do is opt out of the conversation as much as possible. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that" and move away. Or does she sit next to you? I asked to be moved from a colleague I had to sit next to in an open plan once, as she was just so negative and bitchy and racist and anti-mothers, then I got pregnant and she started banging on about how I would end up with a bucket chuff and covered in sick, and I'd just about had enough! I said move me, or someone is going to get murdered.

Bippidee Mon 02-Sep-13 15:07:27

Amen. YANBU. I have a colleague like this, but a great deal of the constant health issues could be dealt with if a) they actually listened to and acted upon the advice from their GP and b) quit going out seemingly every night and getting smashed.

Perhaps it is because I'm a bit older, mardier and pregnant... Or maybe not. I just zone it out, it's become white noise now!

snowynight Mon 02-Sep-13 15:10:18

I wonder if there's one of these in every office because there's definitely one in mine!

It's tricky because she genuinely does have some health problems, many of a gynaecological nature (oh yes).

I try to be sympathetic but it's a constant stream of symptoms and I have compassion fatigue.

TattyDevine Mon 02-Sep-13 15:12:44

Oh yeah Bipidee the "why don't you" "yes, but" circular argument.

OPT OUT!

TattyDevine Mon 02-Sep-13 15:13:18

There is one in every office Snowy, and if you can't find them, then its you! grin

Boaty Mon 02-Sep-13 15:13:58

How does the conversation start?
Some people don't get that 'how are you?' can be a general chit chat conversation and not a 'I want to know precisely how you health is' conversation.

arabesque Mon 02-Sep-13 15:24:37

Boaty, they have no problem starting these conversations, eg:

Colleague: Gosh, wasn't the weather beautiful at the weekend
Moaner: Oh, I didn't get to enjoy any of it. I had a terrible migraine and I was in bed until Sunday evening and if someone even opened the curtain a tiny bit I nearly died, moan moan moan

or

Colleague: Anyone see that new film yet? Any good?
Moaner: Oh, I haven't been to the cinema in two years. It's my neck, if I sit still for too long I get this terrible pain. My doctor thinks it could be stress, moan moan moan.

Wahla Mon 02-Sep-13 15:29:20

Oh God my parents are total health bores and use any and every opportunity to bang on about illnesses past and present. There is no sidetracking them and each symptom must be discussed in detail over and over and over.

I find having four relatively small children that my compassion and sympathy reserves are permanently running on low due to the endless knocks and viruses that is part of daily life so I have become increasingly less tolerant of the constant whinging. I now find I have to get up and leave when it starts to avoid screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR SHOULDER/TOE/BILLIOUS DIARRHOEA, I know. You told me already. What do you want me to do? Kiss it better? Cos listening to you bang on about it umpteen times a day clearly isn't making you feel any better! SHUT UUUUUP!"

That feels good to get off my chest.

bootsycollins Mon 02-Sep-13 15:42:31

One of my tactics is to diffuse by humour, once the same old ailments have been brought up a few times I start to say " ooooh you've got a bad back? You never said" and " really? You don't go on about it" and if they still don't get the message I start with the " ooooh your a martyr to your crumbling spine" in a comedy old hags screech. They soon give up trying to engage me in their trivial bullshit.

A few years ago I'd just started a new job and was paired up with a lady who I'd never met before. Within 5 minutes of me being alone in a room with her she was telling me about an anal fissure that she'd had confused .

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