to make my 2 year old carry on doing swimming lessons?(33 Posts)
Ds1 is meant to be having a swimming lesson this afternoon. He's done 3 so far and he hates it. He's absolutely petrified of the water. It's not an enjoyable experience for either of us.
I thought he would have loved it as he loves playing in the bath/ paddling pool, but because the swimming pool is deeper than he's used to he is scared. He cries all the way through the half hour session and whilst I'm in the water with him, trying to reassure him it's okay, there just no consoling him at all.
It's in a little pool away from everyone else in the big pool, there's obviously arm bands, rubber rings and then there are little toys to play with in the water- it looks so lovely but he's not having it at all.
Part of me doesn't want to "force him", but then another part of me knows that swimming is a life skill. I knew I should have introduced him to swimming when he was younger.
I would second Standautocorrected's recommendation of 1-2-1 lessons. DS1 is having some this term and although he's water confident he's coming on leaps and bounds with his stroke development. Some places also do intensive week long courses in the holidays too.
Definitely take him to the pool on your own. We took DD to our council pool over the summer. There was a little boy slightly older than her, probably 3. He's petrified of the water. But the parents keep taking him every week, and he's visibly improved over the weeks. They just encourage him to sit on the side of the pool and also take turns in cuddling him inside the pool. And if it cost too much to go regularly, I'm sure it won't hurt at all starting older. It's just nice they love water when you go on holiday.
And don't feel like a failure when you see all the other younger toddlers loving the water. They've probably been going since a baby. It's a very popular thing to do nowadays. Babies don't seem to be afraid of the water, and so they grow up not knowing it's scary. (It might not be a good thing since DD will jump into the pool thinking someone is always going to pull her out)!
Another vote for don't force it if he doesn't enjoy it.
Just a ponder, my DD lost a bit of confidence around 2 and regained it again quite quickly, we didn't do lessons but carried on going swimming, and left if she wasn't enjoying it. I wonder if this is something to do with the depth of water in many pools being a bit deep for toddlers coupled with growing awareness of the danger of water (a good thing IMO!) so they find it unsettling. Finding a pool with a graduated shallow end, going at a quiet time and just paddling might be a way to keep up his pool confidence without emphasising the swimming. Then he can start to explore again when he is ready.
Def don't worry about 'should' have anything. Children vary so much in water confidence regardless of when they start.
PenelopePipPop I'm not sure if it's a growing sense of danger. DD had some water wobbles when she is around 2. She's now 2.5y, so it's just a few months ago. She wasn't scared at all, but was just complaining about things they make her do in the lessons. (I know she's not scared because if we went ourselves, she enjoyed it a lot). I think it's part of toddler tantrums, and not liking to do things when they don't understand what's required of them. And wanting to do things their own way.
I agree with playing in fun pools on your own and trying again later. DD swims and has done since 5 months but has had wobbles too. We have been led by her. The teacher recommended playing a lot in the bath and making them as deep as possible. Blowing bubbles so she had to put her mouth in, fetching favourite plastic toys off the bottom, sliding toys in for lots of splashing etc. she will now lie down in a shallow bath so she can dip her ears in, which she was scared to do before. She then was happy to do this in the pool. It does take time, so building confidence with games at home and in fun pools might be a fun way to get there.
My DS started at 5 and hated it. We made him go to 6 out of the 12 we'd booked (and paid in advance)
He'd just started school and was jiggered.
The class was far too big for one teacher (12 children at the start)
The swimming teacher was TBH an absolute cow. . It was noisy. DS couldn't hear her (I couldn't hear her and I was by the pool). She yelled at them if they didn't understand straight away (5 yo child !)
He was gaining nothing, but we made him give it a go.
Years later he did learn (and my DD) at a really good swimming class.
Patient but strict teachers. Groups of 6 in novice, 8 in capable.
Novice class had 2-3 instructors to 4 swimmers.
Onelittletoddle that is interesting. Our DD hasn't had lessons. We just took her swimming a couple of times a week from about 3m. In her case the wobble definitely seemed to link to knowing where the bottom of the pool was in relation to her and understanding the concept of being out of her depth for the first time - which never bothered her before because she completely relied on us to support her in the water. But in a sense the underlying cause is similar - 2 year olds are independent little people, so the specific reasons why 2 year olds often get leery of swimming may vary but it prob isn't coincidence that it happens around 2.
I first started taking DD when she was 3/4. She's so thin and was cold a lot of the time. I put her in a UV suit type thing and she coped a bit better. She would be ok in first 10 mins but by last was not following the class but we'd sit separately and just splash about - teacher said it was about helping her be happy in water not about learning to swim at that stage. She started proper lessons at about age 5 and now (she's 9) she's a little fish and likes nothing better than jumping in and swimming underwater.
Take your time and get his confidence right. Good luck.
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