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to just want a night's complete sleep without one of them fucking waking us up

(136 Posts)
hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 04:46:46

We have a four year old and a one year old, not a night passes without one of them waking up and waking the rest of us up. Why oh why can the pair of them not understand that bedtime is for sleeping? so utterly sick to death of it.

Meglet Mon 02-Sep-13 07:20:55

Yanbu. It's almost 5yr old DD who causes most the problems in this house. She starts school this week and I have all my hopes, and sanity, pinned on her starting to sleep better. Even 6yo DS has the odd wander at night. They were actually great sleepers as babies / toddlers, it's the pre-school years that have been grim.

ihatethecold Mon 02-Sep-13 07:21:53

I does get better. I promise grin

Mine are now 13 and 10. I get up before them now.
Sometimes I go to bed before them.

Now if someone could just shoot the sodding pidgeon that sits outside my window from 5 am I would rejoice. . confused.

Me and my dh look back at the years if sleepless nights and wonder how the hell we got through it!

Salhal Mon 02-Sep-13 07:24:28

YANBU. Mine are 1 and 3 both still bastard wake up and other people look at me like I'm mad when I tell them. AND they then get up in the hour of 5. I look 10 years older than I did 3 years ago.

ExcuseTypos Mon 02-Sep-13 07:25:35

When mine were younger and I had been disturbed at least 3 times a night for 2 years, we decided to try something.

We put a small single bed in our room and we put DD in it. We didn't have another broken night, ever. She slept completely through.
I did however got some very funny looks from people who thought I was mad and that DH might leave mehmm.

But I didn't give a shit because we were all getting some sleep. She stayed there for about 10 months and then moved in with her Dsister. I would seriously recommend it if you're at the end of your tether. smile

justwondering72 Mon 02-Sep-13 07:25:53

Lol at TheFowl we get woken during itchy bottom attacks as well.

5 and 2 Here also, no decent nights sleep since Ds,1 was born. Every night without fail Ds 1 wakes for a pee then comes into our bed, bounces around, moans and goes to sleep. Then Ds2 wakes at 6 on the dot, will go back to sleep but only after a feed and cuddle with me clinging onto his bed, by the time that's done Ds1 is usually awake and needs company. Yawn. Hello another lovely day.

ElleBelly Mon 02-Sep-13 07:29:05

But why do they still have so much fucking energy when they've been up alllllll night?

Haggisfish Mon 02-Sep-13 07:38:07

So glad it's not just us. 3.5 yo and 7mo - 3.5 yo wakes at least once and 7mo wakes 3-4 times a night. Knackered doesn't even start to describe it.

NeedlesCuties Mon 02-Sep-13 08:24:31

Same here, have a 12 month old and a 3.5 year old. 12 month old wakes sometimes for around 2-3 hours during the night confused

A friend with older kids once gave me sage comfort, "you'll get nights which are so stressful you'll want to kill the kids, but luckily these won't be the nights you're DP will want to kill them."

I know it's a bit morbid, but I knew she meant that when things are crap then it's good to share the burden (if possible!)

ElsieOops Mon 02-Sep-13 08:34:34

mine woke up most nights till they were about 4/5. that worked out as about 10 yrs in total. now the cat wakes me up.

Needles That is so true! And very good advice.

Mine are 3 and 6. We mostly get 5 nights unbroken, although last week DS woke up twice a night every night. I'm sure I am personally responsible for maintaining the ground coffee industry over the past 6 years.

withdrawalmethod Mon 02-Sep-13 08:46:51

It's so hard. the 3.5 year old is up once in night without fail and gets up for the day bang on 5.50am. 6 month old up and down all night at the booby buffet.

FriskyHenderson Mon 02-Sep-13 09:04:52

4 non-sleeping/staying in their own beds DC here. Eldest is 9. We've tried the mattress on the floor, and it was good for the 1 DC that could get in it. We are currently trialling the super king bed (fits 2DC&2adults or 1 adult +3 DC) and a spare double bed. Well actually <laughs hollowly> the double is DC3's bed but she's never in it. That takes 3 people. There's a lot of bed swapping. Then DC4 is a frequent sub-6am waker. DC1 is an anxious child with ASD, DC2 will read under the covers for hours... I often dream of a quiet, empty hotel room with crisp white empty sheets on an empty bed in a quiet room and room service.

SimplyRedHead Mon 02-Sep-13 09:05:24

6 yo has slept through since a few months old but gets up at 6am, almost 4yo gets up every fucking night but then sleeps until 9.30/10 and 5 month old sleeps from 9pm-6.30am and has done since 2 weeks old.

They're like a well rehearsed tag team of torture.

Alanna1 Mon 02-Sep-13 09:08:32

My mum's tip was to buy two double beds!!! She said she and my dad would sometimes have a kid in a bed each, and sometimes creep out when we were both asleep with her into the other double bed!!

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 09:51:42

"you'll get nights which are so stressful you'll want to kill the kids, but luckily these won't be the nights your DP will want to kill them."

yes yes. last night was dh's night, who said to me, you's better go into him next time or i might tear his fucking head off' . night before was mine when I was thumping the pillow next to the screaming baby rather than the baby.

aaaaagh

"They're like a well rehearsed tag team of torture."

yes yes, and they also seem to know when the other one is actually sleeping well and wake them fucking up.

aaaaaagh

JammyDodger1 Mon 02-Sep-13 10:00:08

I'm sorry my bloody 8.5 year old hasn't slept a full night in her own bed since she was 2 sad

DigestivesAndPhiladelphia Mon 02-Sep-13 10:05:29

YANBU. I feel your pain.

ElleBelly - your Worzel Gumnidge description just made me laugh, thank you.

We have 9 month twins, a 2 and 8yr old. The 8 yr old sleeps but the others take it in turns and wake each other up. The twins actually slept last night so my 2yr old decided to wake at 4am & screeched repeatedly that she needed the potty. She then changed her mind but persuaded me to sleep in her room & talked at me until morning.

The cleaner arrived about half an hour ago to see me still sitting in my bed, children around me, looking exactly like Worzel. I heard her outside whispering to my older DS: "Your mother is in there. I do not know if she is okay or not" grin

DanceLikeJohnTravoltaNow Mon 02-Sep-13 10:11:13

I'm with you. After 18 months of no more than an hours uninterrupted sleep at a time I've booked myself into a hotel for a night next week. Can't bloody wait!

tethersend Mon 02-Sep-13 10:22:09

YANBU.

Kids are cunts.

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 10:26:41

lol at tethersend

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts Mon 02-Sep-13 10:34:23

4yo dd and 15 month old ds get us up every night without fail. At least the 8yo and 7yo sleep soundly sad brew

ZingWantsCake Mon 02-Sep-13 11:05:51

let's bring back a slosh of rum in the bottle - they will be sound asleep! grin

it's hard, I sympathise! <strokes * OP's* head>

we have 6 and I haven't had a proper night's sleep in 13 years, even if they sleep I can't, I'm so used to being up or woken up - does that cheer you up?grin

the only thing I can suggest is to divide and conquer.
get your DH to sort the 4 year old and you sort the baby - if feasible.
I use the "pick up/put down" method (Tracy Hogg - The Baby whisperer ) - and in the middle of sleep training 16 month old DD, and it's going well.

The 4 year old might need a bit more excersice and /or food perhaps?
there are things you can try but it is complicated, I know.

pfft - oh fuck the tutters, here's a hug!
(hug)

hooochycoo Mon 02-Sep-13 11:08:09

jesus zing, you've got six? good god, that makes me want to cry.

PMDD Mon 02-Sep-13 11:09:17

I feel your pain. So sorry. Those years are very difficult. I promise it does get better. Mine are 6, 8 and 10 and I have had sleep now for over a year. Makes such a difference.

I know everyone says that when your children are little and cute that it is the best years and to enjoy them because they are so fleeting. But it is very difficult to enjoy them when you are so tired.

Tailtwister Mon 02-Sep-13 11:11:21

Sleep deprivation is hideous OP, I've been there. I don't know what to suggest apart from saying our 2 slept reliably through the night (barring illness) from around 2 and 4. The only thing which seemed to kick start the process for us was no daytime naps and plenty of exercise during the day. Now our eldest has started school we actually have to wake him in the morning!

The only reason we coped was because we had no choice. I just started going to bed really early (around 8) as it was my only option.

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