Brief history: DP and I live with our 2 year old DS. Our plan has always been to move nearer to my mum and dad, who live 200 miles away (because I get desparately homesick and we have friends there). The move has always been dependent on DP getting a new job as I don?t earn enough to keep us both. We own our own home.
DP has been looking seriously for work in the area we want to live for the last year. However, he has since been made redundant from his current job so it has become more urgent to find work wherever he can find it.
The dilemma is: he has found a job that?s not quite where we want to be and is a commute of 2.5 hours a day (1.25 there and back). That wouldn?t be an issue normally, however, the job isn?t exactly ideal. He would have to take a 25% pay cut and we would have to rent somewhere cheap (with help of my Dad) while we sold the house up here before we could find somewhere else to buy. Family and friends would still be in easy reach of us there.
None of this would necessarily be a problem, however, he has had to accept Voluntary Severance in order to start on the date that they wanted him to start (which affects the mortgage protection insurance). However, he started the job last week and it turns out that it isn?t quite what it seems ? it?s too stressful, there is a culture of people working late through fear of being seen to leave on time (meaning that DP would never see DS during the week at all). The work itself is monotonous (not creative at all as he?d been led to believe in the interview) and he feels is ultimately demoralising and will make him ill through stress.
Would he bu to just quit and come home, facing the consequences of no mortgage insurance and just the VS to live on until it runs out if he hasn?t found another job? He feels that by staying in the job that at least we could afford to pay the mortgage until the house is sold and would make me happy because I would be living near my mum and dad.
But, aibu to expect him to do a job he really hates and fear for his health through stress when we could just sit tight here where we currently live and face whatever comes, hoping that something else comes up jobwise for him soon which won?t make him ill (which may or may not be in the part of the country I am desperate to live in)?
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AIBU?
Should DP quit job for his health or stick it out to make me happy (and pay the mortgage)?
20 replies
charleylarlie · 01/09/2013 14:07
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