drunken lessons I have learned...

(64 Posts)

Do not blow out a candle with a nouth full of cheese and crackers.

Generally, going backto your neih.ours for an extra glass iof wein is not necessaey.

If yocpost on mn drhunk, hide tgread immediately afterwards.

Smlhe and tje whole world smipes with you! smile

absentmindeddooooodles Sat 31-Aug-13 13:42:38

Sorry about all mistakes. On piddly little phone :-/

Fuzzysnout Sat 31-Aug-13 13:43:38

Don't attempt to take your university tutor home for 'coffee' only to realise that you are too drunk to remember where you live. blush

Ledkr Sat 31-Aug-13 13:45:56

Don't drink 9 bottles of wine with two other mumsnetters and expect to feel ok the next day!!!

DollyTwat Sat 31-Aug-13 13:56:06

Don't invite two other mumsnet yers for a quiet Sunday lunch and expect 9 bottles of wine to be plenty grin

Sophita Sat 31-Aug-13 14:05:24

Don't let yourself be persuaded by mutual friends that it will be ok for you to go to your ex-boyfriend's houseparty. You will see him kissing a girl in the kitchen, and your drunken revenge masterplan will be to go to his bedroom, sticky-tape all his boxer shorts to the ceiling, make a desktop display of his athlete's foot cream & hair-straighteners, and write 'cunt' on his pillow with your lipstick blush

OHforDUCKScake Sat 31-Aug-13 14:06:35

9!!!!!

<impressed>

DollyTwat Sat 31-Aug-13 14:14:05

Sophita I think that's brilliant grin

Ledkr Sat 31-Aug-13 14:15:47

Don't be impressed. We were very unwise

sazzle82 Sat 31-Aug-13 14:22:09

Wine is not your friend. Not everyone wants to listen to everything you have to say and you are not the funniest funny person to have ever lived.

Oh, and when your dp's (now DH's) best friend is staying over and has brought his new girlfriend for you to meet make sure you

A) wear a nightie or pyjamas
B) lock the bathroom door
C) do not pass out legs akimbo on said bathroom floor for DH best mate to walk in

To be fair to DH best mate he immediately covered his eyes (in horror) and began shouting over and over for DH. I got up and sauntered out of the bathroom saying 'I'm awfully sorry' and got back in to bed. This incident is known by all our friends and brought up at any get together. It took me months to find it amusing though blush

Sophita Sat 31-Aug-13 14:31:48

DollyTwat - I tend to swing between finding it funny in a 'what went through your mind' way & just feeling awkward... doesn't help that said Ex-boyfriend is now married to former flatmate & delights in telling that story whenever we're around each other.

sazzle82 - I think maybe we all need to write out the first para of your post and pin it to our mirrors! Truer words never spoken!

3lovelykids Sat 31-Aug-13 15:07:10

Do not attempt to prove you can still do a cartwheel at your Bil's 50th after drinking huge amounts of Bacardi. You will definitely land flat on your back on the dance floor. Not good blush

Work is, fortunately, very quiet today! Imagine my suprise though, whilst browsing Mumsnet this afternoon, to come across a thread that I had completely forgotten starting! blush

It is coming back to me slowly now. Oh dear! grin

Pawprint Sat 31-Aug-13 16:15:29

Don't, when at a wedding, get off with someone you think is in his 20s when, in fact, he is seventeen (and you are 25).

Pawprint Sat 31-Aug-13 16:16:09

Do not get pissed and confide in your grannie that, as a child, you used to think you could keep spermatozoa as pets.

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